You're the key of our memories

Chapter 1- Too Late -

I could still hear the melody of the water hitting the bridge, but now it didn't look so beautiful anymore. He left... Things with Luka had barely started and had already ended, and it's all my fault. 

"When you're ready, I'll be here for you, Marinette." 

These were the words that echoed in my mind all the way home, as I felt the weight of the world fall on my shoulders. With every step I took my eyes were lost in a different point of Paris. All those people having fun and being perfectly happy with that beautiful night... I didn't need to get to know them in depth, I know that none of them were as cruel as I was.

 My attention is focused on one more detail in front of me, a billboard and, honestly, I would rather not have found such a thing. There she was, Ladybug, with her unshakable courage and self-confidence, with her heart that always yearns for justice, with her wisdom that provides her with the best solutions at the right times ... That was definitely not me. 

I couldn't be her because I'm just Marinette Dupain-Cheng, who is synonymous with insecure, clumsy, lying and who doesn't even have the courage to face her own feelings. I believe that Master Fu was wrong only twice in his life, as it is not possible for a wise elder like him to think that I would be a good option to be a miraculous carrier, much less to be the guardian of all the others. 

As I feel my tears streaming down my cheeks, I turn my back to that banner, as if at that moment I could erase that heroic figure from my mind, as if the next day I was not in that same uniform, wearing that same mask that covered up all my insecurities, creating the illusion that I was the salvation of all problems.

I continue to walk on the way home with my eyes fixed on my feet, seeing everything blurred by the intensity of my crying. And as if that night couldn't get any worse, I come across that scene, the one that repeated itself in my nightmares every night. The way he waved and smiled at her, the way their eyes met as if they promised to be next to each other forever... As much as I loved him more than anything, as much as I tried to deny this feeling at all costs, if there was one thing I couldn't lie about, it was that I envied and desired the place that Kagami occupies in that heart. I knew that Adrien would never look at me the same way.

As he says, "Marinette, you are a great friend." And that is what I will always be for him, no matter how hard I try, I will never be as important as she is.

I was so hurt by that scene that I didn't even realize I was standing in the middle of the square watching the two of them get in their cars and head towards their homes. It was time for me to do the same.

In faster steps, I walk to my house as if, by carelessness, I walked a little more slowly, something else would appear and annoy me.

I push hard at the bakery door, at that point I no longer cared if someone called me ignorant. That smell of bread that just came out of the oven, of cinnamon croissant, of the pasta macarons resting, an aroma so familiar and cozy, at that moment it didn't seem as comforting as it used to be.

Today I was the worst person in the world and nothing would change my mind.

I go up the stairs to the apartment. I don't even know how I didn't trip over the steps, since the lights were off and I was too caught up in my thoughts to pay attention to anything. I was about to push the trapdoor in my room when I hear my mother's voice calling me in a sweet and careful way.

- Marinette? Is that you? How was the meeting, daughter?

I direct my gaze to my mother's face. I thought that when I met her eyes I would feel better, but when I saw that hope written on her face, my heart just broke.