beautiful child

4

Stevie plays with Lindsey's curls mindlessly, staring out the window. His head is resting on her chest, and he reaches up for her free hand, lacing their fingers together. The sun is setting, casting a bright orange glow throughout the room. Lindsey looks up when Stevie's breathing becomes unsteady. She's crying. He squeezes her hand, and she squeezes back, closing her eyes. Lindsey lays his head back on her chest, stroking his thumb over her knuckles before kissing the back of her hand.

"Are you hungry?" Lindsey asks. It's nearly seven, and they've done nothing but lay in bed all day. Stevie nods, still staring out the window. Lindsey sits up, pulling his shirt over his head. He hands Stevie her clothes, and she dresses silently, not looking at him.

Lindsey grabs her hand, pulling her down to the edge of the bed.

"What's the matter?" He asks, kissing her shoulder.

"I love you," She says, finally looking up at him.

"I love you too."

Stevie stands up, heading for the bathroom.

"Will you order food?" She calls over her shoulder before shutting the door behind her.

Lindsey orders them dinner while Stevie showers and freshens up. She emerges from the bathroom, wrapped in the hotel's fluffy bathrobe, just as the food is arriving.

Lindsey sets it out on the coffee table for them, and they sit on the couch together. Stevie gets hit with a wave of nostalgia. Back in their tiny Hollywood apartment, she would cook and they would eat on the couch because they didn't have enough space for a proper table.

"Do you think we would have been happy if we'd stayed together?" Lindsey asks.

"No."

"Why is this the way it has to be between up? Why can't we settle down?"

"We were too busy with the band and our solo careers. Then, I was in rehab. When I got out I had other things to focus on. We never got the timing down. Then, Kristen got pregnant. That kind of relationship was never in the cards for us, Lindsey, as heartbreaking as that is. We'll always love each other, but I don't think we could ever be together. I mean, maybe when you're kids are grown up, when we're 75, we can find our way back to each other. We don't know the future. All I know is that we have now. We're here together now. I think that's enough for me," She says, staring down at her food, pushing it around with her fork.

Lindsey doesn't say anything. Stevie stands, grabbing her belongings. She changes quickly in the bathroom, hanging the robe on the door. As she reaches for her journal, Lindsey grabs her wrist.

"I'm sorry. I've just been thinking about hypotheticals a lot lately. Please, stay. I'm not gonna bring it up again, I promise."

Stevie nods, settling back into the couch. They lay together, watching movies and joking around for a long time. Lindsey falls asleep, and Stevie decides to make her exit. She scribbles a quick note to Lindsey explaining that she'll see him tomorrow, kisses his forehead, and heads back to her room.

She's itching to write about everything being with Lindsey brought up for her. Back in her room, she changes into clean pajamas, makes herself a cup of tea, and settles in with Sulamith by her side.

She's writing for hours before she finally feels better. With her heart light and her thoughts quiet, she falls asleep.

Today they're traveling, so Stevie spends the morning packing up. She doesn't see Lindsey until they get to the airport. They get settled on the private jet, but Lindsey is lost in thought. Stevie sits next to him, nudging his shoulder with hers.