Momoharu Week 2021

Day 5: Childhood

A/N: Kaito and Maki had been married for three years.

I think that I messed this one up a little bit in terms of the theme, but I hope you guys still like it all the same.

Maki was wide awake despite it being 2am. She had been awake for a long time, lost in her own thoughts. She had lost track of how long she had listened to her husband's quiet snoring as Kaito was seemingly unaware of her being awake. Maki was only staring down at her swollen belly, lightly stroking it as it made tiny movements in response to her touch. Before she met Kaito, Maki never even thought about becoming a mother. She wasn't fond of kids despite them liking her for some unknown reason. When she found out that she was pregnant, she changed her mind, especially after being free of her former life as an assassin.

However, now that she was here, she was starting to doubt herself at being a mother. She never had a mother, or a father, so what does she know about being a mother? But that wasn't the main issue. She never had a happy childhood. It started out okay at the orphanage, but when she got older, she was saddled with providing childcare to the younger children. She felt like she grew up much too soon. It got worse when those men came to the orphanage. The scouts for the Holy Salvation Society, a cult of assassins. That was when her childhood got worse as she was forced to train relentlessly and become an assassin. She can't remember the last time she had ever felt like a child. So how can she provide a happy childhood to her own kid, if she never truly had one to begin with? She felt like she was destined to fail before her child was even born.

Maki was snapped out of her inner torment as Kaito suddenly stirred. She hoped that he was still sleeping and was only moving in his sleep. The last thing that she wanted to do was to worry him so much. Unfortunately, her wish was unheard as she caught sight of Kaito' eyes blearily opening.

"Hey...shouldn't you be sleeping?" He asked as he slowly sat up. Maki felt honoured that he spends his time worrying about her at the best of times. However, she doesn't need him to worry now.

"Can't sleep..." Maki muttered, trying to make him go back to sleep.

"Little Star bothering you again?" Kaito asked, referring to the unborn child by the nickname he gave it. They wanted the gender to be a surprise for when it was born, so he always called it "Little Star". He gently wrapping an arm around Maki as his other hand held hers that was stroking the baby bump. Maki shook her head. She didn't need him to worry, but she knew that it was already too late for that.

Kaito pressed his lips into a thin line before he gently pulled Maki closer until she had her back to his chest. Maki instinctively relaxed, finding comfort as she felt Kaito's bare chest through her night shirt. She always felt an infinite level of comfort, especially after getting pregnant, when Kaito held her like this.

"Now, what's up?" Kaito asked, gently massaging Maki's shoulders. Maki sighed a little. She knew better than to try to hide her troubles from him. He was too stubborn to let her get away with not opening up to him.

"Do...do you think I will be a good mother?" She asked, wanting his honest opinion on the matter.

"What do you mean?" Kaito asked, sounding more concerned as he held her closer. Maki didn't quite know where to start. There was a lot that she wanted to say, but she didn't know how to say it. But maybe she doesn't need to say everything, just the small details. She doesn't need to make Kaito worry this much when there were other things to worry about.

"I have never had parents or parental figures around me. The only "family" I had were assassins." Maki explained, feeling like all her worries were spilling out at once. "I don't know anything about being a mother and I have no one to go to about it. What if I mess up? What if I'm a terrible mother? Maybe this pregnancy is a mistake."

"Hey, hey. Don't be so hard on yourself." Kaito said understanding what Maki was saying. She didn't say all the details, but he knew what was bothering her right away. He held her closer, giving her a peck on the cheek. "What happened to you, was never your fault. The "family" that you had was never yours. They were just people that were forcing you to be a weapon. I know that your childhood wasn't the best, hell it was probably the worst in all of existence. But that doesn't mean that you can't give Little Star the best that you can give. And you're not alone. You've got me. And I swear that I'll never, ever leave you in the dark, Maki Roll."

"But-" Maki wanted to say as she looked at Kaito.

"That was the past. You're not there anymore. You're here with me. And we need to be ready for what the universe has to offer us. All three of us." Kaito spoke up, placing a gentle hand on the baby bump. It responded to his touch as the baby kicked slightly. "See? Little Star is worried about you too." Kaito gave Maki another kiss before gently resting his head on her shoulder. Maki smiled tearily at Kaito's words as all of them sank in. He might be an idiot, but at the best of times, he really knows how to make her feel better. She looked back down at the baby bump. As she remembered what she had said about the pregnancy being a mistake, she relaid a silent apology to her unborn child. It seemed to have heard her in a way as she felt the baby kick after placing her hand on the bump.

"What did I do to deserve you?" Maki asked as she turned her head to look at her husband.

"I ask myself that everyday about you." Kaito smiled, kissing Maki again on the cheek. He turned away as he let out a long yawn. "Come on. Go back to sleep, you definitely need it Maki Roll." Maki smiled tiredly, yawning a little herself. She carefully freed herself from Kaito's hug, almost regretting it as she felt cold without his arms around her. She laid down on the bed, stretched out on her back. She always felt uncomfortable if she tried laying on her side since her bump started getting bigger. Kaito laid down, placing his head on her shoulder as his hand once again rested on the baby bump. The baby once again kicked a little in response to the touch. Maki followed Kaito's example. Both expectant parents finally closed their eyes in bliss, silently promising the best future that they could give to their little star.