Falling For Seconds

Chapter Twenty

  I dressed in a sweatshirt, scarf, leggings and some sneakers. I was a girl on a mission a ten o'clock in the morning. The city was eerily dead. I walked down the slushy sidewalks, weaving my way up and down city blocks, thinking about how much I was going to miss this place. I was stalling to get to the bank, because did I really want to leave?
  I was on a mission but every time I was a block away, I couldn't pull the trigger. How ironic, right? I kept watching for it and every time, something would stop me and I would turn left instead of right. I needed to go, I needed to get away from here.
  I needed a fresh start but why in the world was I stalling so badly? I inhaled sharply as I turned toward the city block for my seventh time around. The people in the buildings around me probably thought I was delusional.
  I turned right and walked right up to the black glass doors. My papers in hand, I reached for the door and pulled hard. Then, I pushed hard. Then, I looked around for a camera crew for Punk'd, before trying the other door. The same... locked. I pulled my phone out in confusion and checked the date.  
  Thanksgiving.
  How could I have been so oblivious? There was probably a parade going on downtown and the city was almost dead. How stupid could one person be? The security guards would probably get back on Friday morning, rerun all the tape from thanksgiving and find me, the dummy trying to use the bank on a holiday and I'll possibly go viral.
  Glad to know I was going to be famous even if it was for a couple hours. I looked to the sky. "Was this why you were making me stall? Where you trying to save me from my own stupidity?"
  So my plans had been delayed for another day or so. Leaving Illinois was going to wait until Friday...oh, Black Friday. Maybe I would wait for a week or so. Yeah, let's wait for another week. let's let the craziness of the holiday pass. I huffed and puffed but didn't blow anyone's house down. "Thanks for the sign." I mumbled, feeling foolish.
  That's when I saw it. Above one of the intersection lights I saw a huge 'Happy Thanksgiving' banner hung between the two buildings.
  I was so inside my own head that someone could snag me up and I probably wouldn't even notice. The kidnappers would let me go not long after they discovered no one was going to rescue me. I shook my head, I needed a new life.
 
•••

  Dark grey clouds rolled passed the apartment as the snow recovered the city streets in white, heavy sheets. I wrapped my blanket tighter around my body and stared at the worsening weather.
  Reporters said it could be winds up to 65 mile per hour. That wasn't much for this already windy city, but as I watched, I stood corrected. The flakes were attacking my windows, like little blade of ice slowly chipping away at the glass.
  I couldn't remember the last time I had seen a snow storm like this. What would I do if the power went out? Freeze to death? I didn't have anywhere else to go.
  It scared me almost to the point of wishing someone else was with me. Maybe it would be less painful if there was another body to freeze to death with.
  The lights around me flickered again, but this time it didn't seem so quick to putter back to life. I  cursed under my breath and scrambled to my feet.
  Quickly, I padded to the kitchen to find some candles. I opened almost ever cabinet I had, but found nothing. There was a small dust covered box of matches, but I doubted they would hold a flame.
  I let out a sigh, unwrapping myself from the blanket I was so cleverly folded into and grabbed a hoodie. The fabric was cool against my warm skin. I was going down to the storage room.
  Hopefully he had a secret love for scented melting objects that were heavily overpriced. I opened the door to the hallway and practically ran down the hall and stairs to the back room of the still destroyed bookstore.
  The candles would lit up my apartment, but what I was in very desperate need of was a battery operated heater. Did those even exist? Maybe Dale had a secret love of space heaters too.
  I moved a couple boxes around, briefly glancing in each one of them. They were all filled with spare books. Why couldn't he have owned a candle store? Then I would be able to heat my little apartment and illuminate the place! In a perfect world, Hadley.
  I opened the door that met the bookstore and quickly crossed the room. The journey to the opposite side of the room looked a little different since the drive by. Instead of weaving my way through stand shelves, I was making my way through piles of books and tipped over shelving.
  The scene itself sent chills down my spine. The goosebumps were from the strong winds that pushed themselves through openings at the front of the building. I still hadn't found anyone to help me restore it all to It's former glory.
  I flung the door open and realized I hadn't been in there since before the murder happened. I saw myself in the fettle position in front of the first group of shelving, my hands over my head, trying to protect myself from whatever was happening in the front.
  I hadn't heard anything from the city detective since the day after. There was still no justice for my dear old boss.
  A loud thud directed my eyes to the back corner of the room. A small box fell and I belted out a sound that resembled a howling monkey. I was in the dark, completely alone, or so I had thought. I quickly grabbed onto whatever utensil I could find as yet another box collided with the floor.
  It had been a while since Levi's brother or fellow associates had come after me, but I wouldn't put it past them. Especially, if Levi hadn't told them we had ended things.
  The loud noises carried on as my eyes focused on a dark presence in the back corner. I gulped down the lump of fear that had made its home in my throat before taking a step forward.
  The light switch was on the opposite side of the room, meaning I would have to walk ten more steps to reach it. By the time I got there I would most likely be dead as I'd have to pass right by the aisle with the dark figure.
  No one knew I lived here—except Levi, of course— but I was almost positive I had drove him away for good. So was his brother still trying to track me down. Did they know they got Dale instead of me?
  "Who's there?" I yelled, my back pressed up against the wall a few feet adjacent from the door. It was the only wall in the room that didn't have boxes stacked ten feet high.
  "Hadley," the voice whispered. The hair on the back of my neck rose. The tone sounded sickly almost on the verge of death.
  Slowly, pushing all the doubts away, grabbed at whatever courage I could manage, and took another step forward to peered around the corner of the metal shelves that divided the tiny storage room in half.
  I gasped loudly, covering my mouth as my eyes settle on something I'd never thought I'd see. My eyes began to water as I feasted on the body in front of me.
  The boy was leaned up against the same divider I had hid behind. From the gleam of the city lights against the white snow outside, I could see blood staining and dripping from his white shirt.
  The boy was drenched in a liquid substance from head to toe as he gasped for air. Never had I seen a someone so battered and torn. Even Dale hadn't looked this bad and he'd been shot multiple times.
  My stomach clenched. I had no words. The view had rendered me speechless. All I could do was stare. "Hadley," the person spoke again.
  Then, he lifted his head and held onto the metal shelving for support as he came to a standing position. It was Levi.
  "Oh my god." I screeched. "I'm calling 9-1-1!"
  "No!" He coughed out. The voice that could barely talk a second ago was back full force, gluing me to the floor where I stood.
  "It's not that bad...you should see the other guy." He joked.
  He straightened to his full height before wincing and hunching back over. "It's not that bad," I mocked. "You can't even stand upright, I'm calling an ambulance."
  I turned on my heels and took one step towards the bookstore before I heard more boxes fall and a greasy hand grab mine. He pulled me back to him and I saw the damage up close. "They will find out what I've done..."
  I would've rolled my eyes but they were set on the scene unfolding in front of me. I looked down to where out bodies met and could see the blood covering my skin. It was drenched. "So what do you need me to do?"
  "Take me upstairs, I'll do the rest."
  He coughed and wheezed as I threw his arm over my shoulders and slowly moved him away from the shelves. He towered over me at full height, but because he was so hunched over, my small frame actually was able to aid him.
  Once back in my apartment I pulled a rusted first aid kit from underneath the sink and laid it on the coffee table between us. His right hand stayed wrapped around his ribs while his left fished through the box of bandaids and burn ointments.
  Levi made a small noise in triumph as he pulled a roll of gauze and medical tape from the box and handed them to me. "Fix me up, doc."
  I shook my head, "you told me you could handle it." Levi let out a light laugh, followed by a cough and groan.
  "I'll tell you what to do. Just go get a hand towel and fill a bowl with warm water."
  I did as he instructed and within minutes I was back and more skeptical than ever about my abilities to play nurse. "I'm sure you know how to wipe blood off of me. I don't have to give you a step by step for that, right?."
  How could someone in so much pain still smirk and play it off like he wasn't? I dunked the cloth in the bowl and rung it out before gently placing it on Levi's swollen face.
  His right eye had a gash that wAs several inches deep and needed stitches. His lip was busted open opposite his lip ring and a purple bruise was starting to form at the edges. His cheek under the gash was already black and blue and two sizes larger than normal.
  His ear was cut and had dried blood smeared around it. His neck had scratches, his clothes were torn. He looked like he'd survived "The Shinning".
  "Are you going to tell me what happened? Or are you going to make me guess?"
  "Family matters," was all he said. Who ever had beaten the shit out of him had done a decent job. I nodded and pursed my lips...more secrets.
  I moved from the gash to his ear, wiping the dark red substance from his face. Then moved to his lip. I dabbed at the cut on his lip and watched him wince at the pain it caused. I could only imagined what kind of illegal shenanigans he'd involved himself in. But why did he come here?
  I raised an eyebrow at him, "family matters, huh. I've heard that a time or two. What really happened?" I set the cloth back in the water before planting my full attention on him.
  He stopped, his eyes darker than the storming sky. I definitely hadn't missed those eyes. I shivered. "My brother is what happened." He spoke gritting his teeth in anger.
  Suddenly I was curious, but a small portion of me didn't want to know. "Don't tell me you picked a fight with him?"
  "He deserved it."
  "Levi, he's the leader, or whatever you call it, of a gang! Didn't you even consider what he could do to you before you decided to punch him?" I yelled, standing to my feet.
  "You're such an idiot! He could be outside on the streets right now, plotting how he's going to kill us! Good job, genius!"
  I walked away from him, not able to keep my anger from my face as my hands clenched into fists. Now his psychotic brother knew where I lived. He really was going to finish what he'd started all thanks to Levi.
  "Are you done?" Levi's voice cut through my thoughts like scissors. I turned back to face him. He was still slouched on the sofa wiping the blood and dirt from his hands.
  "No, actually I think I have more to say. Just give me a minute." I stated trying to think of something else to yell at him about.
  I actually had plenty to yell at him for, but nothing was coming to mind. Perfect timing.
  "Well, shut your mouth for a minute and listen to me." He spoke sternly and I just stood by the island. The only other sound was the snow pounding against the window. I hate that he had a power over me. I was like his robot, moving and saying whatever he wanted, following commands without objection.
  "I went to talk to Tyler tonight. I was going to explain to him why I wasn't going to do the drug deal-"
  "Why didn't you listen to me?"
  He paused and stared at the television in front of him. "If you could let me finish that would be swell."
  He waved a hand at me before continuing. "So, I went over there to talk to him and he blew some shit about not letting me out of the gang and we got into this heated argument and I don't even remember what all was said."
  He ran his fingers through his wet hair. "Somehow we got talking about my mom and brother. He told me I never cared about family."
  He paused his hand covering his mouth as he turned his head towards the windows. "He told me that he was the one who truly loved our brother because he helped put him out of his misery."
  My body went cold. I could barely breath. His words took everything out of me and I didn't have to see his face to know he was crying.  His shoulders shook silently. I was speechless yet again. I stood helpless in the kitchen, not sure what he would do if I went to comfort him.
  Suddenly my forehead creased in confusion. "You said your brother killed himself-"
  "Yeah, that's what it looked like. Tyler told me tonight that he didn't kill himself. He said that he could hear him coughing and carrying on and so he shot him and made it seem like he had killed himself."
  I ran to him, clasping my arms around his shoulders and holding him tightly. I listened as Levi cried silently. How could a person do that? Especially to his own brother?
  "So," he started, wiping his nose carefully. "I went after him. I broke his nose and anything else I could reach. I wanted to kill him."
  "Don't talk like that, he's still your brother!" I protested, not standing up for Tyler, but definitely not standing up for fighting fire with fire. "You can say that he's a demonic, psychotic person and I can't call him a monster?"
  I shook my head. "You can, I just don't want you to dehumanize him. I don't want you to do something you will regret"
  "He stopped being my brother as soon as I found out he put his hands on the people I loved." He revealed and I felt warm tears running down my own cheeks. I was breathless, but this time for a completely different reason. Did he mean what I thought he meant?
  "There's still no reason that you need to kill or beat him within an inch of his life.That wont solve anything and it will only bring you closer to the man you don't want to be."
  I moved my body to where I was sitting on the edge of the coffee table, directly in front of Levi.
  I stared into his eyes as his stared between mine, having a conversation without words. I had missed this. I had missed him. No matter how hard he or I tried to push each other way, I was always going to have feelings for him.
  I couldn't believe I was prepared to drop everything and leave him. What was I thinking?
  "Well, you're really going to hate me then." He stated, breaking the silence. I scanned his eyes for anything that would give away his next words. His face was stone cold. "Because I did."
  I sat back, my hands leaving his body, blood draining from my face to my toes. I was paralyzed. "You did what?"
  "We were really going at it. I had him pinned, he had me pinned and then he drew a gun on me. He started talking some mad shit about how I was the weakest link and how our dad had wished the other twin was a girl. Real stupid shit."
  He paused, his eyes now staring at the hardwood floors. They were twins? The emotion he had shown minutes before was gone. His copper eyes were still hard to read.
  "He was so enamored with himself that he wasn't even paying attention to the fact that I was pulling a knife from my pocket. He was gloating like he had already won. I moved quickly. He's not going to hurt anyone anymore."
  "You mean you put him in jail."
  He gave me a gaze to say 'come on now' and then I knew. "You killed him." I closed my eyes as I spoke. My shoulders sank. The whole thing just got a lot more complicated.
  "What about the other guys in the group?" My voiced shook more than I had intended.
  "They just ran, left me and Tyler alone. They'll either start working at a pizza place or go find another gang to hook up with. They aren't a problem, they're a bunch of bitches."
  I should've felt relieved, but my heart was racing. I should've been overjoyed that the psycho was dead, but I was shaking. Levi's eyes finally met mine and I hoped he regretted what he'd done.
  "So, why did you come here?" I asked. The corner of his lips pulled into a weak smirk, but nothing like the ones I'd seen from months before. "I'm out, finally and completely out of all the bullshit."
  "So?"
  "So, we can try all of this, whatever this was, again. We can try it again without the lies and the secrets, the abductions or crazy gang associations. Just you, me, and the bookstore."
  I stood quickly without a single word and walked to the kitchen. I pulled open a drawer and set two forks on the countertop. Then I walked to the fridge and grabbed whatever was inside. I realized I hadn't found those candles I was so set on earlier.
  I didn't let my mind weigh the option of taking Levi back. I didn't want to let in all the memories again. How different would he really be? Could we really have a relationship?
  "Are you hungry?" I questioned.
  "You don't have to cook me anything.."
  "Yes or no," I interrupted, my tone harsher than I had intended.
  "Yes."
  "So you're just going to ignore my plea?" Levi's footsteps could be heard as he made his was slowly to the island in the middle of the kitchen. I glanced over my shoulder at him, "that was not a plea. That was a statement and..."
  I knew I shouldn't go off on him. He didn't deserve that much emotion, but I had just embraced him as he cried. He had displayed more emotion in the last twenty minutes than he had the entire relationship- if you can even call it that.
  I took a long breath in, debating on whether to conserve my energy or blow my cap. "...and? I'm sure I deserve anything you're about to say to me."
  I spun on my heels and placed a hand on either side of the countertop. "How can I just accept you back into my life like everything that happened between us never did? You came back yesterday like nothing was wrong. You left me to face everything on my own. I haven't even heard back from the police department since the incident happened."
  "They've most likely reported it as gang violence and closed the case. They don't really do much for gang related issues because they can never find the people responsible."
  I shrugged. "Okay, but that doesn't solve all my other problems. You left me and told me we could never be together because people like us don't belong together. You crushed me. How are you going to be able to repair all that?"
"I can promise you that will never happen again."   
  "What about the now three people you have killed?"
  "Gang related, they'll close the case."
  My eyebrows furrowed. "The police may have closed thecase but how can I live with someone, knowing they can take the life of another so easily?"
  There was a long silence between us and I took the pause to continue reheating the leftovers I had set out. There was so much between us. No matter my feelings, how could I get past all of that.
  "Okay, so I have an idea." He broke the silence but I didn't bother to look up at him. "Date me."
  My gaze lifted in confusion. "What do you mean?"
  "Give me a real chance. I'll show up and take you out on dates and give you the realest, rawest version of myself available. No secrets and no lies. If you don't like what you see you can go, but at least we gave it a chance."
  I turned on my heels and placed the cold food in the microwave, pressed a couple buttons and then started it. I had to admit, it was a good plan. No second chance unless I was comfortable with it.
  "I don't know, Levi." The microwave beeped and I pulled one of the two bowls from inside, placed a fork into it and slid it across the counter to the bruised boy. "I have a lot of unanswered questions."
  "I'll answer all of them if you just give me a chance. Let me take you on a date and I promise I'll be an open book."