Falling For Seconds

Chapter Twelve

"No!" I shouted into the mirror.
"Why not?" Levi asked, his fingers inching toward the drawers in front of him.
"You don't need it!" I stated. He rolled his eyes, but his shoulders fell in defeat.
"If I'm going to drive you to your parents in your car, I'm going to need a something in the glove box." He explained.
"Who says I don't have a weapon already in my glove compartment?" I questioned as I place the last Bobby pin into my hair. I took a quick step back and examined myself. Levi eyed me curiously through the mirror.
The outfit resembled a woman leaving for her job interview, not a family dinner, but wearing this navy sweater and dark pair of jeans was the safest way to avoid most insults from my mother.
The clock on the bedside table was a grim reminder of the one hour of freedom I had left. "So what means of defense does a little thing like you have in your glove compartment." He toyed as he moved toward me. I swallowed hard, I had nothing but registration and insurance papers in my glove box.
"A pocket knife." I lied and he raised his eyebrow.
"A pocket knife, hmm?" His hands settled gentle on my shoulders. A smirk pulled at his lips as he lowered his head to my ear. "You're lying."
His warm breath rustled the loose strand of hair beside my ear while my body tingled at his closeness. Goosebumps rose across my skin and I was suddenly grateful for the thickness of my sweater.
"I'm not lying," but my voice faltered as I let my eyes drift closed.
"Am I bothering you?" He growled. His lips brushed the portion of skin at the place where my shoulder met my neck. My head tilted in response, giving him all the space he needed.
"Mm, you know you are and yet you still ask."
"I love that way you react to me. That is why I do it." His words were dripping of possession. He loved having me, even though I wasn't fully his. He's got you in the palm of his hand. I was beginning to like it here.
I spun around as he brought his hands gently to my face, lifting my chin so that I was looking directly into his copper eyes. A smirk played on his lips while the rest of his features were hard to read. "Oh, what I'd give for you to let me make you feel better this."
My eyes flutter at the thought of what he would do to me if given the chance. A shudder of nervousness rang through my body, but I didn't dare look away from him. His lips meet mine and my body filled with an electrifying energy, like a bucket had been dumped over my head, drenching me with its flowing power.
My fingers tangled into the hair on the back of his neck, causing him to moan. He pulls away, eyes wide and eager to continue on. "Please," I begged, lifting my chin so that our lips could meet again.
Levi didn't hesitate to give into me. His hands traveled the length of my body, pulling me closer by my hips. The friction caused me to gasp into his mouth.
He let out a breathy laugh, before untangling himself from me. I pushed my bottom lip out and pouted at him.
"Listen, princess, I'd love to screw you on this bed, right now, but you have to get to your parent's for an important 'family meeting' and I'd hate for you to look like you just had sex as you walked into their house."
"Maybe I want to look like that." I teased. Levi bit down hard on his bottom lip, his eyes dancing. I could sense how badly he was holding himself back.
He closed his eyes, "I'm praying to whoever is above me that they give me the strength to not pin you down and make you mine."
The words heated me from the inside out and I almost couldn't keep my composure. I stared at the floor, envisioning how he would do it. My mind was becoming a dirty place, but I kind of liked it. It was quite the contrast to this past summer.
"Let's get going." I spoke quickly as he held his hand out to me. I gave him a not-so-confident smile as I reach out to accept his hand.
"Ah," he pulled his hand away from mine, wagging a finger at me. "Gun, first."

•••

My parent's house sat in a very rich neighborhood, an hour north of downtown. "This one on the left."
"Holy shit." Levi voiced as we parked in the pull around driveway. He leaned forward in his seat, chest pressed against the steering wheel to get a better view of the house before him.
"Please don't say anything." I begged, gathering my phone and purse before pushing the passenger door open. He raised his hands in surrender, but his copper eyes were glued to the two story victorian. The house itself was obnoxiously big, add a four car garage and well...you get the picture.
I took in a deep breath, sizing up the house that I had once loved so much. The house was soon going to become my worst enemy. It was going to stand for everything I was walking away from. "I'll call you when we are close to being done. I'll want to leave as soon as this thing ends." I explain.
Levi nodded in understanding, but I still couldn't find the gumption to close the door. "Go kick ass."
I whipped the car door shut and strode confidently up the driveway to the front porch. Levi's words had given me a sudden burst of certainty, like everything was going be okay and though I had no idea what was prowling just behind the giant, French doors.
I knocked three times on the white wood between two glass panes and waited for someone to open it. I was shaking.
To my luck it was my little sister, Nora, who answered. She squealed and lunged at me, arms wrapping tightly around my waist. I smiled and laughed at her as I did my best to hug her his little body that barely came to my hip. "I've missed you, Had! You've missed so much since you've been away!"
I smiled and listened to my sister talk on and on about how school was going and how she was in all the dance classes. "Let's go inside, it's really chilly out here." I suggest.
Her eyes light up like a Christmas tree and she takes my hand firmly in hers. "Oh yeah! You have to see Silas and mom and dad! They will be so excited that you're here!"
She acted like I came out of the blue to visit the family. Did my mom not tell her that there was a big meeting happening today?
Then, as my feet crossed the threshold, I was home. I was the sixteen year old girl running down the stairs in her uniform, running late again with one black sock pulled over my knee and the other still at my ankle.
I was the twelve year old taking violin lessons in our living room, dying of boredom and daydreaming of shopping with my friends.
I was the seventeen year old debating with my parents on where I should go to college and what I should major in. The memories came flooding back.
As I was led through the dining room and back to where the kitchen, it took everything in me to not pass out. I could feel my heart pulsing heavily in my calves. I was sure that wasn't suppose to happen.
My mother stood over a obnoxiously large gas stove stirring something on the first burner. She hardly looked up to me as I entered the room. The sight of her with a white apron tied against her waist was an unexpected sight. Usually she hired out the position. Every occasion was catered to perfection, so what had changed since I'd left?
"Hi mom," I say initiating the conversation.
"You're twenty minutes late." Her side eye lasted long enough for me to catch the hint that she wasn't thrilled. "Punctuality is very important you know," she continued. I took a seat at the giant island and watched Nora struggle to climb into hers.
"Traffic was bad, per usual." I lied as I offered my assistance to my frustrated younger sister. She should've known punctuality was a weakness of mine. I had been chronically late my entire life, but I wanted her to believe that I was working on it.
She pursed her lips in a hard line, "if the traffic is usually heavy then it should've been understood that you had to leave earlier." I rolled my eyes at her back and redirected my conversation to my little sister, who was already staring at me with wildly green eyes. I scrunched my nose at her, leaning closer as she mimicked me.
I giggled lightly until my mom cleared her throat. No one could be seen having a single ounce of fun around her. How dare we smile and laugh, my subconscious stated sarcastically. I mentally chuckled.
She stood across the counter from us. Her delicate hands resting on her hips like she already found something to scorn me about. I sat a little straighter in my seat, feeling the rush of uncertainty coarse through my body. "So, how is college and your lovely boyfriend?"
I stifled a laugh. I wanted to blurt it all out, just to get it over with, but we were to close to boiling liquid and I really was in the mood for an emergency trip to the hospital.
"This year is going fairly well. It's hard to understand at some points, but I study a little harder in those times." I paused and looked to her, secrétele begging for her purchase of my lies. My stomach flipped uncontrollably at the thought of how simply I was spewing these fabrications.
My mother's candy apple red lips broke into a proud grin, like I was her golden child and she had succeeded in making a woman out of me...as if.
"Lev...Greyson is doing well. He is studying hard at University and still trying to get out of his housing contract." I almost blew it and a bead of sweat was making its way down the back of my neck.
That's when I noticed the falter in her smile and the perk of her right brow. Her features stalled for only a second, but the brief break in her facade was enough for me to catch on. She knew something about my life.
My head felt hazy. What did she know? "They still haven't let you out of that stupid thing? Would you like your father to go down there and speak to them? I'm sure he could work something out."
What she really meant was my dad would go down to his alma-mater and possible bribe them with a large donation in exchange for the release of the contract. I shook my head abruptly, "No, it's all right. I'm sure Greyson wouldn't like you guys butting into something he is trying to accomplish on his own."
"Well," she glanced at one of her manicured nails. "Just know that if it all becomes too much, we are only one phone call away." She explained, but that was the scary part. They were one phone call away from doing whatever they wanted in virtually any situation. They were always one phone call away.
"Where is dad?" I asked, feeling claustrophobic.
Mom rolled her eyes and then pointed to the study. "He's been in there all day. If you can get him out, it will be a miracle."
I patted Nora on the head before I slid out of my seat and made my way to where my father had locked himself away. His office was positioned off the kitchen.
"Daddy?" I called out and he looked up from his papers.
"Hey, there's my lovely daughter!" He stood about six or seven inches taller than me, reminding me of Levi as he walked toward me. His arms folded me into a bear hug and I laid my head against his chest.
I breathed in the sweet smell of his cologne and aftershave. I'd forgotten that he was now old enough to wear it and get away with it. I always seemed to jump over the fact that they were both in their mid-fifties.
Maybe it's because you are too occupied with something else? I smirked into my fathers chest. Though, it wasn't a something rather than a someone. No one else needed to know that though.
"Has your mother commented on your hair yet?" He asked, pulling me to arms length and examining my appearance.
"No," I rolled my eyes. "But I'm sure she will get to it." It wasn't like my dad was any better. He would openly judge every inch of my life right alongside my mom, but at least he liked the natural curl in my hair. My mother, on the other hand, did not.
"So, what's the big dinner for and why is mom cooking?" I ask pulling farther away from him. He closed his eyes, knowing that he couldn't lie to me. He was the reason I had been such a good girl growing up. I had acquired his lying ability.
"You will find out. I'm sure everyone will be here soon."
What did he mean by everyone? My family was here...my mom, dad, my sister and brother...my brow furrowed. This could be a surprise job interview, could it? We're they trying to get me an internship somewhere? I felt nauseous, what did they have up their sleeves?
"Hello?" A familiar voice called from the front door. "Is anyone home? I can smell food, but where is everyone?" my mouth dropped to the floor.
I bound out of the study and raced to the front of the house. Standing in the doorway was my very pregnant, eldest sister, Lydia. She hadn't changed much, still radiating beauty, but with much shorter hair. My hands covered my mouth and tears began to fill my eyes as my long lost sister was standing a few feet in front of me.
"Oh my god! Hadley, is that you?" She gaped. I was frozen to my spot in the middle of the formal living room, but she didn't hesitate to run to me with open arms. She gave me a lopsided hug and I cried.
I never thought I would see her again and after so many years of absolutely no communication, here she was, as happy as I had ever seen her.
"How...Why...What are you doing here?" I stumbled through my words, trying to figure out the right question to ask.
"First of all, stop crying. I disowned the family, I didn't die. Second, I'm here because I have a huge announcement to make!"
Lydia pointed to her belly while she wiggled her shoulders widely. I mimicked her facial expression as I composed myself. "This feels like a dream. I never thought I'd see you again." I reveal and she rolled her eyes.
"Do you really think our parent's would keep me exiled when I'm about to give them their first grandchild? Come on, Hadley, you and I both know they are more selfish than that."
I nodded before we both broke into a fit of laughter. Her voice was unchanged from the day I last heard it. She had aged light years, but our bond was still the same.
"I can't wrap my head around the fact you are in college! I kept telling..."
"Well, that's a voice I haven't heard for more than a decade." My mom made her way out of the kitchen, wiping her hands on a dishcloth like she was strutting down a runway.
"Wow, you haven't changed one bit." My sister spoke with a hint of disgust laced through her words. I took the silence to everything in.
My mom was wearing black dress pants, a perfectly ironed, pink blouse with a black, quarter-sleeved cardigan. She was the epitome of a rich mother. It was as if she stepped straight out of a Better Homes and Gardens magazine. She definitely fit in with her home, which looked too perfect as well.
"I bet you're still a raging bitch, too." I gaped at my sister words with my eyes glued at the recipient of the insult.
My mom's right eyebrow raised at Lydia, but she didn't deny it. "Mind your manners, Lydia. I wouldn't want my grandchild learning that language at such a young age." Then my mother turned back to the kitchen.
"Some things just never change, no matter how much time you give them."
The front door opened for the third time tonight, revealing a handsome looking man dressed in a plaid button down shirt and tan khakis.
"This is Ron, my fiancé!" He looked exactly like the man Lydia would marry. Mom most likely didn't know they weren't married, she would kick her out all over again. "Ron, this is my sister, Hadley."
We shook hands as he told me it was nice to meet me. I had so many questions to ask her about her: how she managed to snag such an attractive future husband, where she went to college, where she ended up living, and what she was doing now.
"Like I was saying before mom interrupted us. I kept telling Ron on the drive over here, I still see you in my brain as this little girl with hair so red it looked like I dyed it for you. But here you are! You hair still blazing but the rest of you has grown to compliment it perfectly." She smiled sweetly and I felt like crying.
Lydia's fiancé wrapped his arm around her waist as she spoke. The couple couldn't have been more perfectly matched. Her blonde short hair and long black skirt, his dorky, but secretly charming aura. He was taller than her by several inches, reminding me of Levi.
A surge of anxiety washed through my body. Had they seen him in the driveway? I throw a quick glance to the giant windows overlooking the front yard. The only car parked in the bleached concrete was a white Kia.
I looked back to Lydia whose gaze was cutting through me like a knife. "Dinner!" My mother called and I felt myself relax. No one could question my intentions while there mouths were full of whatever it was my mother created.
We all seated ourselves around the table, food filing every inch of open space. It looked like Thanksgiving dinner instead of just a casual family get-together. I thanked God for giving me a robust appetite. If the food was as delicious as it looked, I wouldn't have the ability to converse.
"So, I called mom about a week ago to tell her to get everyone together, because I want you all to know that..." Lydia pauses and grabs Ron's hand. They exchange joyous smiles before Lydia continues. "We will be expecting our baby boy, Isaac, in December!"
I gave my sister a warm smile as I quickly swallowed a butter roll, but had no idea what to say. My mind was reeling on how to break my own news.
Nora, seated next to me, squealed loudly, but Silas sat silently picking at his turkey. The hesitant side eyes Nora had given my sister since we had sat down vanished at the thought of a new playmate. Silas wasn't yet convinced.
"So how long have you and Ron been together?" My dad asks as everyone settled.
"We've been together for over a year now." Lydia explains cautiously. I knew exactly why she was so guarded.
"You've been married for a year and dated for a year." My mom corrects, trying to figure out what she meant. Lydia looks to me for help. What did she expect from me?
"No, we met last July and started living together three months later."
"When did you all get married?" My dad places his fork beside his knife, stifling his fingers in front of his lips. He's trying to figure it out, but Lydia was beating around the bush.
"We haven't yet." My sister finally spoke, squaring her shoulders confidently. Ron hasn't said a word and for his sake I hope he doesn't.
My mother gasps, "Lydia Rose, are you telling me you are having this baby outside of wed-lock?"
Lydia nods, her confidence not wavering. I sip on my water, my eyes darting from family member to family member. In the next few minutes it could be me on the receiving end of all this backlash.
Not if we stay silent! My subconscious was as terrified as I was, and rightfully so.
The tables went silent for a few moments. "It's not like you are a perfect, little, christian lady! Have you ever been inside of a church other than on your wedding day?" Lydia spat.
"How dare you." my mother retorts, like that was the worst insult could receive. I looked to my younger siblings who were sitting, bewildered at why everyone was yelling, "Silas, Nora... go upstairs and play in the playroom for a while" I whisper and they both nod. I watched as they ran up the stairs, wishing I could do the same.
We can't hide from this forever, I tell my subconscious. But we don't have to tell them now... she whined back at me.
"What I decide to do with my life is not up for your debate!" Lydia interjected.
"You are still our daughter, Lydia. And we, as parents, have rights!" My dad's words fell over a quickly silent table.
"Dad, you do know you revoked you rights as soon as you banished me. I emancipated myself, which I know you saw that piece of mail, therefor you have no rights."
It was hard to tell who the actual lawyer in the room was. My mother huffed in disbelief and my father sat staring at his dinner plate. Ron had successfully refrained from saying a single word as Lydia sat next to him with steam rolling from her ears.
"As much as I love the family reunion," I started pushing my hands against the heavy dinning room table. "I really..."
"You're not going anywhere." My mother spoke and I froze. Her eyes narrowed on my tiny being like a predator zeroing in on its prey. "You have some explaining of your own to do."
I swallowed the last of my saliva. My mouth was drier than the Sahara. I reached for my water cup only to realize it was empty. What do I do? Play stupid. "What do you mean?"
"Don't try and pull innocent, Hadley Nicole."
"I suggest the both of you sit your happy asses down and we'll discuss these matters like adults."
Lydia and I exchanged apprehensive eyes but both settled back into our chairs. "My 'situation' is pretty simple; you can't make me unpregnant and neither of you can disable me from marrying Ron."
My elder sister crossed her arms and laid them gently on her pregnant belly. "I'm more interested in hearing what Hadley has done."
All eyes turned on me. I gave a nervous smile. "What are you guys talking about?" I questioned as innocently as I could.
Time stood still. They couldn't possibly know what's been happening, unless Greyson did inform my parents. If he had, what would his punishment be? What if they knew about Levi? Would I be the next to be vanquished? Would my parents even listen to my plea? Did I even want to make a plea?
My subconscious shook her head at me. My dad was the first to begin the judgement. "Hadley, we've heard that you're not doing well in school."
That was an understatement. I would have to attend school to do badly. I smirked. "We have also heard that you're spiraling out of control." He added.
"Spiraling out of control?" I asked.
"Yes, Greyson has been telling us about the new friends you're choosing to associate yourself with."
My worst fears were realized. There were three butter rolls left in a white bowl, I wanted to shove them all down my throat. My boyfriend had turned into a spy. Was I really so surprised?
Lydia was trying to hold back from laughing. Ron, the poor guy, looked out of place. My mother had her hands in her lap with her eyes focused solely on the daughter in question. My father had his arms crossed over his chest.
"Do you not have anything to say for yourself?" My mother interrogated.
I shrug. "I don't like college. I don't want to become a doctor. I'm not that person, mom. I'm not going to sit here and let you tell me what to do and how to do it. It's my life, not yours."
Her eyes grow dark as she sits back in her chair. Her eyes move to my father, who's staring at me in disbelief of my sudden outburst. I hear Lydia giggle.
"Well, since you are so grown and independent, I want you out of my apartment by Wednesday morning."
It was definitely happening all over again. History was repeating itself and I questioned my path. It was Lydia's turn to gasp, "do you realize you have now disowned two of your children?"
My mother and father both ignored her, keeping their attention solely on me. "I'm taking away you're...my car. If you want to void our contract and step into whatever you believe as right then I have no choice but to set you on the same path as Lydia." Oh God, it was really happening. I was losing everything. I looked to my lap, where my phone sat. I unlocked it casually and sent a come get me text to Levi.
"Fine," I started, startling myself at my sudden burst of confidence and anger.
"I don't need your apartment or your car. I don't need your money or your affection. If I have to be controlled to be apart of this family, then I don't want to be apart of it! Lydia was disowned at 18 and look how happy and successful she is now. She's getting married and starting a family, an actual family!
"I hope and pray that one day I can do the same, but when I get pregnant, don't expect a phone call, because I will not have my children be influence by the likes of you two. Anyone who has to manipulate their own family does not deserve to have one at all. So disown me and take away all my things. I'd rather live in a cardboard box in downtown than be your string puppet!"
There was a knocking sound at the door, before it slowly slid open. The house went completely silent, not ever the grandfather clock was ticking. I hesitated the turn around. My mother's eye were blank and wide. My dad was irate.
I bit my lip and let my eyes travel to my older sister, who is staring at me with one eyebrow raised. Lydia tilts her head towards the mystery person as if silently telling me to look.
Time stands still again as I twist in my chair towards the front door.
Oh. My. God.
Levi stands in the foyer, his left hand on the doorknob of the door, the other shoved deeply in the pocket of his dark jeans. His presence exposes just how extremely out of place he was under the huge crystal chandelier. His pristinely white shoes looked dirty on the just-polished wood floors.
"Hadley, may I have a word?" Levi's familiar voice sounded so foreign against the cream colored walls. I suddenly feel the gaze of my entire family. My mother, I knew, was about to demand an explanation. I could hear her hatred of him already.
I push myself away from the dining table, keeping my gaze from meeting anyone else's. His tattered, green sweatshirt and worn black baseball cap only adding to the disapproving stares. It was the first time I had ever felt embarrassed of him.
I pull him onto the porch with my small hand gripping his forearm as tightly as I could, making sure the door is completely closed behind us. "What are you doing?" I sneer.
He looks at me beguiled. "You told me to come get you, so here I am."
I smack the palm of my hand against my forehead. "I meant for you to come back to the house and wait for me in the driveway! I never wanted them to actually see you."
His body fell, suggesting he was wounded by my comment. "Why?" He asked, but before I could answer the front door opens, my mother appearing from behind it.
"It would be greatly appreciated if you could rejoin us for dinner, Hadley." She spoke in her professional tone. It was the tone she used for everyone other than her immediate family. "Also, if your...friend would like to join us, we have plenty of food to go around." My mother addressed Levi like he wasn't standing five feet from her.
"He was..."
"I would love to join your family for dinner. Thank you for the invitation."
I scold the man in front of me. Just as quickly as my mom had appeared, she disappeared back inside the house. "What are you doing?" I repeated the question from earlier. Levi barely looks at me as he shrugs and takes a stride toward the door.
I huffed, how was I supposed to dramatically walk out now? So much for Lydia's big announcement. I had no choice but to go inside and face the music.
My younger siblings were sat again at the table, picking food off their plates with their tiny fingers. The dining room table comfortably sat all of us.
Ron and Dad were sat at each table's end. My mother was sitting in the chair on my dad's left, with Levi and Lydia following. I took my seat beside the little ones and couldn't even stomach the thought of eating.
Like I had been taught, I took my cloth napkin and laid it across my lap, my fingers smoothing out the wrinkles. I couldn't guess who was going to break the unbearable silence first. I refill my glass and chug the entire thing, suddenly feeling my body heating itself internally to 325 degrees.
"So," my dad began. "You are a friend of Hadley's?" All eyes landing on the terribly out of place character sitting diagonally from me. He still wore his baseball cap as he cleared his throat.
"Precisely, we met in our Calculus class. She has helped me study for multiple tests." My dad's emerald eyes studied him, looking for any glimpse that he might be lying. He may not be good at lying himself, but he was impeccable at catching them.
"I see. Do you have a name or should I just call a name of my choosing?"
"My name is Levi, sir." Levi's words dripped with annoyance. He knew he was trying to be belittled by my father. I was anticipating the "my dick is bigger than your dick" fight. Who would end up the champion?
"Do you have a last name, Levi?" My mother chimed in after taking a dainty sip of her wine. Lydia, Ron, and I were looking between the three in conversation like we were cats with a laser pointer in front of us. I waited for Levi's response.
"Haymaker." His voice was proud.
"Your dad is Phillip Haymaker, of Goodall and Haymaker law firm located just off of Main Street in downtown!" My dad stated matter-of-factly.
Levi shook his head as he chewed his roll. Was that the only piece of food anyone was going to digest this evening? "No, sir. I never really knew my father."
My eyes fell to my hands and started to pull at a stray string on my napkin. He hadn't known his dad?
"I knew a Haymaker. She studied at University with me." My mother said.
Levi froze in his chair as if he'd just remember he'd forgotten to turn off his curling iron at home. "She graduated Salutatorian of our class. What did she always talk about wanting to become? God, it was so annoying. That's all she ever wanted to talk about...well, that and her kids."
My mother pats her napkin on the corners of her mouth, her pink lipstick almost done from eating.
"A cardiothoracic surgeon." Levi answered softly.
"Yes!" She points a well manicured finger at the unraveling man across from me. "Whatever happened to her? You know of whom I'm talking about, don't you?"
Levi looked defeated. My mother held a devilish grin on her face. I was on the edge of my seat. "I think her name was Melissa?"
At the sound of her name, Levi sank low in his chair. His eyes barely seen under the brim of his hat. It looked as if her was trying to disappear under the table. I had never seen him look so weak. "My best friend, at the time, told me she never graduated med school because she offed herself."
Everyone's attention was then turned towards Lydia as she stood swiftly, causing her chair to screech loudly against the floor. I was paralyzed.
"You two are absolutely pathetic! He's our guest! Whatever happened in his past is none of your business! No wonder half of you children hate you!"
We had come full circle. The argument train that had derailed when Levi entered, was back on course. "Hadley, I do apologize if I made your friend here feel uncomfortable." My mom spoke, but there was no sincerity in her apology.
"This is why no one wants to be apart of this family." I stated coldly. I then took the same position my sister had, though my chair didn't make as much noise.
"Young lady, I would advise that you sit back down. We haven't even begun to solve your little predicament." My dad commanded.
"I stand by what I said earlier." I shot back. I gave my sister a hug and shook Ron's hand. I walked to the foot of the stairs and called for Levi to follow me. Quickly, my younger siblings rushed off their chairs and wrapped their little arms around me.
Walking out on my parents wasn't the hard part. I had said what needed to be said, they knew how I felt and I was standing behind it. The hard part was leaving Silas and Nora. They were too young to know what was going on, but one day I hoped they would step away from our parent's manipulating ways too.
"Wait," Lydia spoke. She glanced at Ron, who then stood from his chair as well. "You don't have to walk out alone. I had to and I know how that feels, so I'm going to leave with you."
Tears filled my eyes for the second time that night. I bit down on my bottom lip, to keep from crying but it didn't help. I kissed my younger siblings on the head before turning towards the front door. My head was spinning with all this new information about Levi. I could barely see straight.
I picked up my purse from the floor and handed my sister hers. She thanked me, putting the satchel bag across her chest. She grabbed Ron's hand while Levi grabbed mine.
I looked to her to see the tears in her eyes as well. "Oh, mom, you can forget about having a grandchild. You'll know of them, but don't ever ask to see them. Hadley, had a very good point, you don't deserve such blessings."
I glanced back to the dining room to see my mom eating her food like she was unfazed by the scene unfolding before her. My dad, who I had been somewhat close to, was glaring at us.
I opened the door with my free hand and together we all walked out of the house. I couldn't help but remember what it had looked like when Lydia had done it so many years ago. I was crying and didn't understand. Now Silas and Nora were going to be in the same position.
Nora bolted out the door and attached herself to my leg. "Please don't go, please!" She begged.
"I have to leave, but I will see you again, I promise. I love you."
"No, I love you sissy, don't leave me!" I waited for a moment as I gained my composure to look her in the eyes without completely losing it.
"I have to leave, but will you promise me that you will make a lot of friends at school and get good grades? Have a lot of fun for me, okay?" Nora wiped her nose on her shirt sleeve, but stood from sitting on my foot.
"I promise, sissy. Please promise me you will visit soon? I want us to play with my Barbies. I want you to teach me how to braid my hair, because mommy hurts me when she does it."
"I promise." She gave me one last hug before running back inside the house and closing the door.
"They don't remember me." Lydia said sadly. "It really sucks because they won't get a chance to play with their nephew."
I pull her into a long hug, kissing her on the cheek. "They may not remember you, but I sure as hell do." I gave her a reassuring smile and she copied the expression.
"I'm not an idiot, Hadley."
I furrowed my brow before I looked to the ground and then to the guy walking to my sedan. I knew exactly what she was referring to.
"He's the guy I'm cheating on my boyfriend with." It was the first time I'd ever said it aloud and it felt so liberating.
Lydia rolled her eyes at me, "I love you, but you need to get that situation figured out." I nodded, a silent promise that I would before I started making my way to My vehicle.
Before I opened the door, I waved one last time at my sister and her fiancé. They were perfect together. I hoped I could find someone who compliments me as he did her.
"By the way, you're still a bad liar!" Lydia called from her car on the street. Maybe so, but at least I'm not lying about everything anymore, I thought.
After I shut the door, I took in a deep breath and exhaled it loudly. "That wasn't so bad." Levi stated, amusement laced in his tone. "Yeah, for me." I responded raising both my eyebrows.
"Who was it bad for then? Enlighten me." He placed a hand on the back of my seat, his eyes glued to the rearview mirror as we back out of my parent's driveway and onto the main road. I could start by asking about his mom. Had she really killed herself? But I wasn't sure if he wanted to share all the details.
"You."
His eyes find mine in the dimly lit car and he was agitated. "It was nothing."
"It didn't sound like nothing."
Both of his hands were holding onto the steering wheel so tightly I thought it might break. "I'd suggest you drop it." His tone was chilling. I was brought back to the night he had yelled at me to stay put while he left.
"I can't drop it. What my mom was saying, was it true? Did your mom really...kill herself?"
"I said drop it!" Levi screamed, the car veering to the left as he did. I pushed the palms of my hands against my ears and pulled my knees to my chest.
Memories of my attackers flashed through my brain. I felt the cold of the night, the pain of their beatings. "I'm sorry." He whispered.
My eyes squeezed shut. The unwelcome movie still playing on replay through my thoughts. A whimper escaped my lips as my arm was sliced by an invisible switchblade.
If I had thought I touched a nerve months before, that was nothing to the can of worms I was trying to open now. Just let it go or you are going to kill both of us, my inner voice begged, her back kicking and punching her way through the nightmare.
My blood pumped thickly in my veins, but I managed to pry my eyes open enough to observe Levi in the driver's seat. His chest was rising and falling rapidly. I placed my hand on his forearm.
"I'm sorry, too." He pulled a hand off the steering wheel and punched the dash so hard I thought it would cause the airbags to activate.
He didn't acknowledge me. I kept my position, balled up in the seat as I decided on keeping my extremities on my side of the car for the rest of the ride home.
His lip ring was pulled in between his teeth, his eyes completely unmoving from the road ahead. That was one way to end a night...