Falling For Seconds

Chapter Seventeen

The drive to the little restaurant near his campus felt like it took ages. My hands were sweating and I was paranoid, but I knew it was the right thing to do. Since, I was in the business of trying to get myself put back together it made that much more sense for me to have a serious chat with him.
I needed to tell him everything that had happened in the past three and a half months. I needed to tell the truth for the first time since meeting Levi.
Even though he was out of my life, I felt his haunting presence. His hot breath on my neck when I was in bed kept me up until 3 am and when I rolled over and tried to reach for him at 6, I was struck with the realization I was completely alone.
I also knew Dale would want me to straighten things out. He was watching over me, so I wanted to make him proud. Walking down the stairs of my apartment was chilling to say the least. The whole downstairs was roped off with yellow police tape. There was white tape in the shape of Dale's body by the cash register. I took in the scene from a whole new perspective as I walked to Dale's truck this morning.
It really didn't look like the same store. Police were still there trying to map out what had happened and look for clues as to who had done it. I knew, but I didn't dare say.
When I arrived at the bistro, Greyson's car was already parallel parked in the front. I drove around the block until I found a decent enough place to place the old, tan Chevy. The only reason I had a vehicle was because Dale had told me about the spare key hidden in the rip in the passenger seat, in case I ever needed to use it.
It was a clever place to hide a key, I had to admit, but getting in the truck and smelling his cologne made my heart swell. It took everything inside me to not bawl my eyes out the entire way to my breakfast date.
"Who's truck is that?" Greyson asked me as he looked over my shoulder. I sat down across from him. A small lump already forming in my throat.
"It's Dale's he told me I could use it if ever I needed to get somewhere."
"Who's Dale? Where's you Nissan? Is it in the shop? You could've asked me to pick you up, you know."
"Yes, you could've came and picked me up, but you don't know my new address. Plus, I like driving in the city and no, my car isn't in the shop. Mom and dad took it back. Dale is... was my boss at the bookstore I work at."
Greyson sat back in his chair and crossed his arms. I couldn't read his expression and the silence was deafening. "Why did you parents take it back? You have a job?" He was having a hard time comprehending what I was saying.
I nodded slowly. "And you moved, too?" The question was another attempt to understand what I told him. I slung my purse strap over my head and set it on the floor beside me.
Sitting next to him, I looked like I didn't belong. He had an expensive polo on underneath a dark blue, also expensive, blazer. He looked like he'd just gotten back from a debate or a lunch with the president. He was way too formal for the coffee shop... and me.
I didn't blame him for feeling lost. I had dumped only a sixteenth of the last four months events on him in less than one second. I barely knew how to process everything that had happened.
I sat forward and intertwined my fingers together in my lap. "I have a lot to tell you." His eyes looked over my face but he didn't say a word. I cleared my throat and took in my appearance in the reflection from the window we were sitting next to.
My hair was long and a bit tussled. My eyes were bright blue, like always, but my eyelids and cheeks around them were swollen from crying. I wore a tight hoodie and black leggings, looking like I was more ready to go run a marathon than have a deep conversation about life.
I looked like I was held together by coffee and dry shampoo. I hadn't showered in a couple days, I was lucky I even remembered to brush my teeth. I took in a long breath, closing my eyes.
When I looked back at the rich boy sitting across from me, I felt like screaming. Was I going to lose him too? What does it matter if you do?
"So..." I started. "I don't really know how to start this, but I guess I'll start from the beginning. I lied to you. I've lied about a lot of things, but most importantly about Levi."
Greyson's lips formed a sharp line. His bright eyes misting over and hardening. He was a tall guy, maybe 6 foot, and when he got mad it seemed like he stood around 8. I continued on. "I saw him multiple times after you met him at my house. I..."
"I'm really not concerned with the fact that you kept seeing him. I knew you would, you aren't strong enough to stay away from damaged goods."
His words cut like knives. I wasn't strong enough? If I remembered correctly Levi had pursued me. Although, I had kissed him first. He kept coming to the bookstore in the first place. Damaged goods? How well did Levi and Greyson know each other?
"Emily couldn't stay away from him either." He continued which made my brow furrow.
"Who's Emily?" I asked tilting my head to one side.
Greyson cracked a small smile, "What you didn't have the balls enough to ask him about his past?"
I knew a lot more than most people, I repeated to myself. Levi's voice echoing through my mind as I spoke it over and over. My stomach clenched at the memory of our argument at the hospital.
"I really hate that I'm going to ruin your view of your precious man. Actually, I really don't. Anyway, you know Sarah, my sister?" He said.
His shoulders squared. He was proud of the information he held. I nodded.
"Her middle name is Emily and when we were in middle school she used to tell everyone she wanted to be addressed as so."
Wait, Sarah had something to do with Levi? Wasn't she in rehab? "It carried on into high school. Levi and Emily met at a basketball game or some cute shit like that. Anyway..."
"Levi went to a public high school." I corrected.
"Yeah that was after he got kicked out of Carnegie Prep." I held my hands up in the air.
"Woah, wait... you are telling me that Levi had the money to go to prep school?"
That would make sense as to why he was so smart and how he was able to get into such a great college, but where did he come up with the money? Was he dealing drugs in high school too?
Greyson waved me off. "Not everyone has to be rich to go private, Hadley. I think he told Emily once that he had a rich uncle die or something and he got a portion of his earnings. I don't know, but that's not the point."
"Okay, okay...go on."
"They met and fell in love, blah blah blah. Then something happened with Levi. Emily started telling me in private that she was starting to get scared of him, but didn't want to break up with him because she wouldn't know how he would react."
"A couple weeks later, I noticed Emily coming back later and later at night. Sometimes she would sneak in as I was getting ready for school. I thought it was because her and Levi were out hanging out but when the police called the house not too long after that, I knew something wasn't right."
"Mom and dad went down to the station and I stayed home, but when they came back they sat me down at the kitchen table and started interrogating me about Levi. Questions like how much I knew about him, what his background was, if he was in with the wrong crowd, so on and so forth."
"I had no idea what they were talking about until they told me that Emily was found at a park trying to overdose on heroin." My eye brows rose sharply. That's why she was in a mental institution?
"She had told them that Levi was the one that supplied her with the drugs and forced her into taking them with him."
I shook my head and sat back in my chair, that didn't sound like Levi. I mean, he did deal drugs but he never told me that he'd taken them before. A giant lump caught in my throat as I continued to listen to the story.
"So, I confronted Levi a few days later after Emily had checked into rehab and he lied and told me the drugs weren't his. He lied over and over about not knowing how she'd gotten them. Told me he was sorry to hear about her and all that jazz."
Greyson rolled his eyes in disgust. "No charges were pressed because they couldn't find anything incriminating on Levi, but we all knew the truth when he got kicked out of Carnegie for bringing a switchblade to school."
I sat there in a trance over the story I'd just heard. Levi had gone to Carnegie Prep. Had he seen me before? He got kicked out for bringing a knife to school? Was he in gangs then too?
I didn't want to believe that he'd been the reason Sarah- Emily- was in rehab, but knowing that he'd lied to me, of all people, he undoubtably would have lied to Greyson.
Why hadn't he told me he'd done drugs before? Was it to cope with losing his brother? I was so confused I could barely see straight. My chest felt like it had a 300 pound weight on it.
"I slept with him." I blurted, but didn't know why.
Greyson had sat there telling me this whole story with a slight smirk on his face, like he was glad it was wrecking my view of Levi, but when the words fell from my mouth, his face contorted into an anger I had yet to see.
"You did what?" His voice was sharp and quick, cutting my to the core. My eyes scanned quickly for an exit in case things got too bad.
  "I slept with him." I stated with a little more confidence.
"Why would you let him put his grimy hands on you, but make me wait for three years?" Then I noticed his hands were gripping the side of the table. His knuckles were white. I had definitely touched a nerve. You didn't "touch" it. You smashed it with a sledgehammer!
Adrenaline coursed through my body. "I don't have to explain myself to you. It just happened."
His eyes searched my face over and over before he opened his mouth. "I bet you feel real pathetic now that you know the truth about him." He smirked.
I did feel bad, but the energy in the room was pushing those feelings away for the moment. I thought to Dale. How our last conversation consisted of him explaining how I shouldn't help his past against him.
What about all the debating over these months? The whole hearted understanding that no matter what Levi did, it didn't matter because he was different now?
"You know what's funny?" His hands pushed his hair back before he looked back onto my eyes.
"You have a job, you quit college, you cheated on me... all while I was working my ass of trying to get out of my contract for you. But here's the kicker..."
I waited for the punch line and I was hoping he wasn't going to tell me he was planning an engagement. "I was cheating on you too."
My heart sank. "Really?" and he nodded. I wanted to cry, but the tears weren't coming. I wasn't as upset as I thought I'd be to break up with him. At least he had someone, I guess.
"Then the decision is mutual." I stated, twiddling my thumbs under the table. He laughed under his breath.
"You never cease to amaze me." He snarled. "but yes, the decision is mutual. Go be with your slime ball of a boy and I'll go on to become a lawyer with a nice piece of ass on my arm."
He stood, the chair creating a loud screeching noise as he did so, costumers around us looking over at the commotion.
I stayed still, my eyes looking up at him as he looked me over one last time. "I hope you get your head on straight before you end up like my sister...or yours. Lord knows they'll never be that same. Tell that piece of shit if I ever see him, I'll kill him."
He strode away and I realized I hadn't even gotten to tell him about the rest of my life. I was completely alone again. I wished I could've gone back to Levi like Greyson thought I was, but sadly I was going to go back to an empty house above a crime scene and eat frozen pizza from an oven that barely worked.
No one wanted to hear about my sad excuse of a life. Everyone had bigger issues to worry about. I wondered if the police even cared that much about finding Dale's killer or killers.
I fished around in my purse and found my phone. My fingers dance over the screen before I found Levi's number. The call went straight to voicemail as I had assumed and I left a message.
"Hey, so... I just broke up with Greyson. Come to find out he's been cheating on me too." I lightly laughed into the phone to avoid crying.
"He told me about you and Sarah...I mean, Emily. I have a lot of questions and would really like to talk to you, maybe hear your side of the story? Anyway, give me a call or come by if you want. You know where I live. Hopefully I'll see you soon. Goodbye, Levi."
I felt dumb after I ended the call. I felt like some silly little girl on romance movies who leave their long lost love a million letters or emails or text messages explaining their day (which was exactly what I was doing). It was pathetic and suddenly I wished I'd never called him.
I sat at the table watching the students walk until their faces started blending together. A picture of Dale popped into my head and then was quickly replaced by a picture of his wife. Was this why she wanted me to wait? So that Dale could die and Levi's and my secret life could be revealed?
I failed to see how any of that helped my situation. Now I was alone with no direction whatsoever. I had also lost the only person who probably genuinely loved me like a granddaughter.
How had the ghost I had seen been a blessing? If anything I wished I had never seen her and gone on with what I had originally planned to do. Maybe I would've died instead of Dale. Then all my problems would have ceased all together.
Stop thinking like that.
I couldn't help it. What else was I to do? I didn't have a job or a lot of money. I didn't even have a car. It was only a matter of time before someone takes the truck away and crushes it. I mean, no one was really going to drive it anyway and the only person that could, well...she hardly had any money to put gas in it.