the jacket you never returned- Bokuaka

Part 8

The sun was not yet up--his room was still dark, and Konoha is still holding him. It's still chilly, though, and he saw that the moon was still shining.

His phone is ringing.

It won't cease, even. It pulled him awake, and when the arms holding him shifted, he guessed that it woke up Konoha, too. He squeezed Akaashi with a "answer it already, keiji," before pulling himself away, sitting up and stretching. Akaashi shuffled near to the drawers, snatching up his phone.

He froze.

"Go ahead," Konoha softly said, looking at the screen and bumping their shoulders together, before leaning his head on Akaashi's. His hand tightened its grip on his phone, head pounding and heart beating in his ears. He felt warm, suddenly, despite the cold breeze entering the room through the window.

"Hello?"

"Keiji," Bokuto said, and Akaashi's responding again, automatically--hand shaking, eyes stinging.

He sniffed. He heard Bokuto draw in a breath--

"Can you say my name again?"

--and Bokuto sounded so desperate, for a second, that he wondered if he's back--if the Bokuto that loved him is back, but he remembered Spiegel im Spiegel, this time, again, and the reason why he played it at Bokuto's wedding, why he offered it to him, to Megumi, to them.

That was him passing Bokuto off to her.

That was him letting Bokuto go.

"I'm sorry, Bokuto-san."

He hang up. Swallowed nervously. His hands are still shaking, and he looked down. The sun is yet to rise for an another hour or two. The moonlight shone, and his eyes were watery, and he felt like he's such a mess, when did this happen to him? He's so, so tired.

An arm snaked around his waist, and Konoha was kissing his shoulders, you are so so brave, so beautiful, it's okay, Keiji--

It's okay. I love you.

And he cried.

When Konoha answered "Yes" and confirmed that he's together with Akaashi, Bokuto felt warm. And it was not nice--it was red, hot, burning, and he felt like he's been punched, straight to his chest, anger and jealousy welling up inside him, making him want to burst and stopping his breath short.

He's not sure whom he's mad at, but he hated the feeling, and he hated that he's feeling it in the first place. Most of all, he hated what he was seeing. Unconsciously, his mind strayed, saying, I should be that person beside him. He wanted to walk over and tear them apart from each other, to keep them away, because this is wrong. They don't fit, at all, for him--he can't be happy, can't accept it, and he doesn't know why. He had a feeling that he doesn't even want to.

Except, the only thing that's wrong is what he's feeling. Akaashi's Akaashi, Konoha is his boyfriend, Megumi is Bokuto's wife. Nothing is wrong.

And still, he felt betrayed and hurt all the same.