the jacket you never returned- Bokuaka

Part 11

Bokuto woke up to the sound of Spiegel im Spiegel playing. Violin. His heart skipped a beat, adrenaline rushing in. He's not even thinking, but he felt that kind of warm that you feel when

you're too elated, too happy to talk. He felt a rush go through him, like he just got electrified. Like that feeling you get when you know you're the one who spiked the point that won your team. He dragged himself off of the bed, and opened the door, heart leaping up to his throat.

Megumi stood there beside the DVD player, paper in hand.

He tried not to feel disappointed, he really did. He didn't even know what he was expecting.

"Hey."

"Hey," he replied, weakly, walking over to her.

She pushed the paper to his hands, smiling bitterly. He blinked, reading it.

Divorce papers.

"Why?"

"You were never mine, to begin with."

"I think this belongs to you," Megumi said, passing by Akaashi's office, dropping off a tiny box down his lap.

"Bokuto-san?"

"Megumi-san," She corrected, sternly, before smiling at him after a second, his face too amusing for her. "remember."

Akaashi stared at his lap, then at her. He felt something in him twisting and turning, gnawing at his insides, butterflies in his stomach--if this was a joke, he just might be pathetically offended, but he's hoping and at the same time he's guilty--

"It belongs to you," Megumi said, slowly, as if thinking of her words carefully. "always had. He did, too. Always had been. Yours, I mean."

She flashed him one more reassuring smile before walking to her office.

"It really does match your eyes, you know?"

When Konoha walked in, called by Akaashi, and saw the ring on the table, he didn't say anything, didn't do anything.

He just shot it a bitter look, sighed, and said "I lost, didn't I?"

Akaashi hugged him, anyway. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay."

"I really did love you, you know?"

"I know."

They just stood there for a moment, silent, and the air around them wasn't heavy. It felt like bidding a goodbye to a friend who frequently crashed into your apartment; they really did love each other, once upon a time, but Konoha guessed that they've always expected that this would happen--that this will end like this. He doesn't regret his choices. There wasn't anything to regret; only things to thank for, things to be happy about because they happened once.

And he realized that that's what should always matter.

"One last kiss for goodbye?"

Akaashi laughed, for the first time since they happened, and now they're ending. He nodded.

"One last kiss for goodbye."

For the first time since Bokuto got married, Akaashi picked up his violin and played pieces after pieces.

Clair de Lune. Moonlight. Four Seasons. Nocturne.

When he was in the middle of Spiegel im Spiegel, heart beating loudly, feeling light and breathing for the first time since a long time, someone knocked on his door. He put down his Stradivarius on his couch, walked over to it, and opened the door, heart in his ears and everywhere else;

The February snow is falling. Some snow got in his doorstep, barefeet feeling colder. It was sunset, and everything was pastel and familiar and he just cried.

Breathless, flustered, all Bokuto could say was "Please."

Akaashi smiled, watery, and this time, it's given with all his heart.

"Koutarou."

I can't promise you very much.
The fragile side of love is the only side there is;
but I promise I will love you until I stop loving you.
and when that happens, I'll start again.

Salma. D