He Needs Me (Wattys 2020)

55

"And I needed you when I lost my child but you weren't there for me. I needed you when my whole world was falling apart and you weren't there for me" I uttered trying my best not to cry, Andrei tried to grab my hand but I gently got of the bed. "You did all of this to me because of how your mother was to you" I questioned running a hand through my hair.

Andrei sighed guiltily.
"I didn't want another woman in my life who'd be like her so I stayed away from them all"

"Do you think I'm like her?"

"Fuck no, Storm your not anything like her" he growled becoming even more furious, nothing but disgust lacing his tone.

As if saying that is one of the worst words to leave my lips.

No matter what everything he's told me has made my heart burn, he's been through too much. How could a mother torture her own child, that's the worst thing I've ever heard.

"I'm sorry all of that happened to you" I whispered glancing down at my fingers.

"I don't need nor want sympathy, it's the past" he muttered becoming slightly cold. This burned another fire within me, this is exactly why we are the way we are.

Why he did what he did.

"This isn't sympathy Andrei neither is it pity, in fact it's worry, worry that because of your past you'll ruin everything" I shook my head tiredly "you've already lost me"

Andrei began pacing the room once again, guilt made fury radiating of his body "Fuck Storm stop!"

Andrei walked over to me and placed both his hands on my cheeks, his tearful gaze locked with mine.

"I haven't lost you, please don't say that habibti" he begged leaning closer, my heart beat began to skyrocket as his thumb glided over my lips.

I don't want to lose him I really don't but I think he's already lost me. I can't believe I allowed myself to be broken.

I'm no longer the woman I used to be before all this started. He broke me down and attempted to build me back up again. It's not as easy as that.

"But you have, why are you back? Where's the woman you were supposed to marry"

Andrei scoffed disgustedly.
"My dads ultimatum included getting married, I wanted to forget about you so I grabbed the first bitch who came running" he spoke tiredly.

"You did too much Andrei I need time"

"Storm please"

"There's-" Andrei interrupted me before I could complete the sentence.

"I fucking love you Storm! I can no longer be without you" he yelled pulling at his hair, my heart jumped in surprise. This cannot be love, it fucking can't.

Love is what dad and Shazia have, this is a sad ending to an even sadder story.

"You don't do that to someone you love" I whispered pulling at the hem of my shirt, my heart sinking into its deepest depths the more I watch him break.

Like he did me.

"Wounds heal Andrei" pulling up my shirt I gently ran my finger over the painful scar "but this isn't a wound, you tore me apart"

His eyes lingered guiltily over the carved A. The crusty skin makes me shiver as I feel along it, this scar will stay with me forever.

Within seconds Andrei gently pushed me against the wall and smashed his lips onto mine, he dominated me before slightly pulling away.