PAPER RINGS [RANBOO IMAGINES]

It's Not The Same Anymore {Part 1}

"You don't really love me, Ranboo. You don't even like me."

We had been drifting apart for awhile, the start of online school and quarantine meant that we weren't able to see each other everyday like we had before. At first it wasn't a huge deal, we talked everyday on discord, we watched movies together, and played games, it was nice.

But once the new school year started up things started going wrong, well at least for me. He started doing Youtube and Twitch and he was doing great, he was growing fast and I was so proud of him, and so happy to see his progress.

But his online friends and his content creation began to take over his life, I'd dm him asking if he wanted to call and he wouldn't get back to me until 3 or so days later, sometimes more, giving me some sort of excuse for why he didn't answer.

"I'm sorry for just now responding, I've been so busy working on my new video! If you're still interested I can call now :D"

or

"I'm so so sorry for not responding, everything has been crazy lately, call tonight?"

I know he was busy and that things were finally working out for him but it hurt that he never made time for me anymore, but I'd still call him when he was free, even if it was just for 5 minutes, I missed him more than anything and just needed to hear his voice.

It got worse when Tubbo came along, his new best friend. He was basically a newer and better me, he always made him laugh, he was incredibly successful, and he took up all of his time.

I remember I had a panic attack one night and frantically messaged Ranboo asking if he could call and I got no answer. After I calmed myself down I went to see if he was streaming, he was, and he was with Tubbo. They were both laughing at some joke Tubbo had told and jokingly flirting, it reminded me of how me and Ranboo used to talk, how we'd laugh on his bedroom floor at 2am at some dumb joke one of us had made.

Tubbo was better than me in every way and he had replaced me, taken my best friend and made him his. I couldn't even blame Ranboo for preferring him, he was just obviously the better choice.

I need to move on, but I can't just drift away without a word, I can't just block him and move on. I have to talk to him before I leave, I need the closure even if he doesn't.

So after he ended his stream I called him, to my surprise he picked up after a few rings.

"Hey Y/N, I just saw your dm, I'm so sorry I wasn't there for you, I was streaming and I was with Tubbo and I was just really caught up wi-"

"It's okay," I say, cutting him off.
"Are you sure?"
I pause for a minute, taking a deep breath, "Yeah. I'm sure, but we need to talk."

The air felt heavy, the tension was heavy, and the mood dropped quickly.
"Oh...what about?" He asked.
It felt like there was a void in my stomach slowly swallowing me whole, I was scared to speak.

"About us, we've drifted apart so much since you started making content, and I know you probably didn't mean to but you never seem to make time for me anymore."
He stays silent for around a minute before speaking, "I'm sorry, I've just gotten so busy and I guess I keep forgetting about you..."

Hearing that felt like I was stabbed in the heart. My best friend since age 8, who I have done everything with, is forgetting about me when he's the only thing on my mind.

I stay silent, trying to process what he's said and trying to stop myself from crying.
"Y/N?"
I shake my head and blink away my tears, "Yeah, I'm here, sorry."
"It's okay," he replies softly.

"Do you prefer him over me?"
"Do I prefer who?"
"Tubbo."
"Do we have to bring him into this?" He asks.
"Is that your way of saying yes?" I reply.

He sighs, "Y/N, I didn't mean it like that."
"Is he better than me?"
"Can we please not talk about him."
"He is, isn't he?"

I can feel myself getting heated and growing angry, I've been cast aside in favor of a british boy who streams for a living. I live a mile from Ranboo, he could walk to my house, Tubbo lives thousands of miles away, it would take an excruciatingly long plane ride to get him and yet Ranboo prefers him over me. This has to be a sick joke.

"I can be friends with both of you."
"How can you be friends with me if you never talk to me, you take days to reply to one message, you never come over to see me despite the fact my house is within walking distance, all your time is spent streaming or with him!" I exclaim.

"Have you ever thought that he's nicer than you, hmm? That he isn't so clingy, he doesn't beg me to respond to him, he doesn't demand that I take time off from my work to talk to him!"
"THAT'S BECAUSE HE WORKS WITH YOU!" I yell, scaring myself and him. I haven't yelled at him in years, this is bad.

We sit in silence and I can hear his faint crying from the other line, I've fucked up so badly this time and I don't think it can be fixed this time.

"I'm sorry," I whisper, beginning to cry as well.
"I love you, you know that right?" He says, his voice raspy.
"You don't really love me, Ranboo," I pause, "You don't even like me."
"That's not true."
"It is, you haven't loved me, you haven't liked me for awhile now and you know it."

"Y/N, please can we just talk about this tomorrow?" He sighs.
"What is there to talk about at this point, all your time goes to Tubbo or working on your content. You have a new life now, one that I'm just not meant to be apart of."
"I want you to be apart of it though."

I roll my eyes, "Then act like it! Make an effort to talk to me, you can't just leave me hanging for days, some people may be okay with being left on delivered but I'm not!"
"I'll try, I promise I will."
I sigh, "I can't find it in me to believe you right now."

"Then let's talk more tomorrow, okay? I'll get up early and we can talk and decide what to do, okay?"
I give in, part of me wants to let go and not deal with being second to someone else, but another part of me just wants to be friends with him again.
"Okay, Ranboo. We'll talk tomorrow."

"Goodnight, Y/N."
"Goodnight, Ranboo," I reply before hanging up.