Andria Andromeda Rivera and The Chalice of Belief

The Strength You Weild

Whenever you find yourself doubting how far you can go, just remember how far you have come. Remember everything you have faced, all the battles you have won, and all the fears you have overcome.
- Unknown

There were several things undisclosed about the matter, primarily because, well, the test would loose much of it's effect if people came prepared to face it, Jace thought. But he wasn't wrong- the test really just checked through all his emotions- which Jace was having a really hard time controlling.

He felt choked, trapped, as all the worst of him came forward without his say in the matter.

Almost like a dream, visions settled on him slowly, only magnifying the dread- The quiet minute when Andria had been trapped in the Manor-when he'd despaired ever coming back into this manhunt... The first time he'd ever killed. How stupid he'd been, thinking that coming back and facing their problems head on would mean that they'd be dealt with for the rest of their lives after as short an ordeal as possible.

The time when he'd felt like an utter disappointment for not helping Eava as she lost to Cresto- The time he'd fallen to his knees, bits of his past taunting him as walked through his tarnished house. The day he'd realised his parents had been on the other side all along, and that he would have to walk without their memories supporting him.

He was slowly losing control, he realised. He had to control the way his emotions flowed and presented themselves to Quietus, but with the way his knees wanted to buckle, Jace highly doubted he'd be able to do much.

"Tch." Quietus's voice broke through his thoughts for just a second, "I wished this one to be stronger."

He clenched his hands into fists. He was mocking him, he knew. He knew better than to rise to the bait: Quietus wanted to test his full potential, see how long he could last before giving in to his memories.. and yet, if Jace did not find some outlet for his distress soon, whether or not he wanted it, he would succumb to his past. He tried to channel all his desperation and brought out memories a lot darker. They weren't the ones where he'd done something outright wrong, no- they were the ones where he felt like giving up.

The countless hours he spent after Andria getting stabbed, thinking, racking his head to give Olivia some reason, some justification to do what she did. There must have been some reason. And then it had hit him. Andria couldn't hold out against Quietus- she nearly always had blackouts of her past, almost always broke in fear and dread- she was becoming his tool. Olivia knew that, and had seen fit to....

Jace still recalled the shudder at the thought... it had become so real, just then. He'd already stepped down the path- he'd even taken a life, which had broken something in him he hadn't known was there- but now that one of his own was hurt so grievously, so-so- pointlessly, it had occurred to him just how dangerous a game they were really playing. He had considered, for the tiniest of moments, what it would cost him to let Quietus just get his way.

Somehow, without opening his eyes, without looking up at his disgusting enemy, Jace felt a bout of dark amusement radiating off of Quietus. Good. It was working. Fueled by his gloomy thoughts, he brought forth the next memory to help conceal his true reasons for this ruse.

It was his mother. They were sitting in some sort of park, a blanket laid across the floor with a simple wicker basket full of various jams and breads set in different lunchboxes deliciously. He felt wary as it occurred to him that the jams' smell was also reaching him, now.

He didn't recall this encounter at all. Perhaps he had subconsciously delved into this memory to prove to Quietus his loyalty- that, or Quietus had successfully seen Jace to fall down the well of his memories to no return. Either way- he'd know soon.