Weaknesses

Leave me alone pt.2

  Last shift of the day is a pain, all day I see is people dying. I can't even imagine what would happen if Maya knew. Walking by Jo I try to avoid every bit of eye contact like my life depends on it and If I'm being honest it did.

Walking out of the hospital I see maya standing at the door of our car. I feel like passing out on this cold ground. She knows. She does. I can't breathe, I start pacing and hoping she doesn't notice. Maya looks at me with a hardening look. Christ she knows. At this point I've stopped breathing at all. I pass out cold on the concrete, last thing I see is a dark sky.

My eyes rolling back to my head, I feel so sick. Last thought bumping around is my brain is that maya still knows. Does she even see me? I mean she had to. I hear a faint voice that resembles my wife, I can hear her walking to me. Checking my eyes, Amelia backs up and makes sure everything else looks okay. I still hear that voice, was it in my head? no no Maya was there. "Are you okay?" I see her in the corner of my eye. "I'm fine" I sit up trying to look as innocent as I most absolutely was not. We walk out very quiet, no sounds at all. "Are you driving?" Maya looks at me with a look of possession. "No" I know that she hates me.

We walk in the door, putting our coats down. I get ready to get in the shower when Maya grabs my arm.

"Carina."

"What's wrong, bambina? Knowing very well what was wrong with her or rather. me. She just looks at me with her baby blue eyes, this time? A different tone.

"We're done."

"No, maya please I-m"  I'm down on my knees sobbing when she lifts my head. I didn't want to lose her and I would do anything to save us.

"Carina you know this can't happen-"

"Maya please don't"

Maya says nothing but takes my hand, leading me up to our bedroom. I look confused as always. She closes the door, now taking my waist. Grabbing my neck, she pulls me much closer than before. This is what I want, not jo and certainly not cheating. Pinning me up against the wall, I feel her breathe on my bare neck. Letting out a long sigh, she looks back up at me. "You won't do it again?" That look of approval burns me from the inside. "Of course not maya, I love you and only you." Moving her hand closer to my chest we slide down on the floor.

When I realize what had happened, my guilt leaves my body and what a horrible feeling it had been. I love her more then reality could depict. Maya is her.