Dead Name (Trans Yaku Morisuke)

Morisuke

It was my first time playing in the boy's division for volleyball. I was a first year in high school. I remember walking in thinking "This. This feels right. This is where I belong."

Nekomata patted my shoulder, "You excited, boy?"

I smiled and nodded my head.

We went over to the dressing room and got ready for the warm up. After stretching, I practiced receiving with Nobuyuki.

"I'll dig up any balls you miss," Kuroo told me before throwing a serve.

I scrunched up my nose and narrowed my eyes, "As if."

The ref blew the whistle and we all lined up to be introduced. I was the last person on the starting lineup, but that didn't bother me. I was grateful to be on the starting lineup to begin with.

"Kuroo Tetsurō, 1st year, Middle Blocker..."

"Nobuyuki Kai, 1st year, Wing Spiker..."

I stretched my arms out, getting ready for the announcers to call my name.

"And-"

They paused, looking at the paper with all our names. I waited for them to call mine before running forward.

"...Yaku Misaki, 1st year, Libero."

Everyone gave me a respectful applause and I cringed a little bit at hearing my dead name. I gave the coach and our manager a high five before joining the rest of the starting lineup.

Normally, after introducing the players, the captains would shake hands and the referee would flip the coin, but the ref got down from the stand and walked over to the announcers. He looked at the clipboard with all our names on it and called our coach and manager over. I got a little worried about what they could be talking about, but I tried to focus on the positive.

After a few minutes, our manager looked at me and gestured for me to come over. My heart sank and I felt my face go cold.

I jogged over, "What is it?"

"Mr. Yaku..." the announcer started, "Could you explain your first name for us?"

"My name is Morisuke," I said.

The ref looked at the paper, "Well, here it says-"

"It was a mistake. My name is Morisuke."

"You sure you didn't get placed in the wrong division? The girls are competing in the next gymnasium," he said.

"I'm a boy," I said.

"Then why is your name entered as Misaki?"

"It was a mistake. It's supposed to say Morisuke," I said. I didn't want to say, "I'm trans." I'm still a boy even if I'm trans. I'm no less of a boy than Kuroo or Nobuyuki.

He sighed, "Ms. Yaku, does your birth certificate say Misaki?"

I shifted uncomfortably in my clothes. Every time I heard that name, I wanted to rip my skin out.

"Uh... What seems to be the hold up here?" Kuroo had walked over and inserted himself into the conversation.

"I don't think we have to tell you this, but girls can't compete in the boy's division," the referee said.

That broke me. I crossed my arms in front of my chest and I sort of just shriveled up. Girls can't compete in the boy's division. Girls can't compete in the boy's division.

"Yaku is a boy," Kuroo said.

Girls can't compete in the boy's division.

"Well, this name is telling us otherwise."