Unspoken

~ Chapter Five ~

         "NO!" his fierce cry ripped through me as I fell backwards, as though in slow motion. My dress fluttered up around me, pink and lovely as I spread my arms out at my sides, like wings. My feet slipped from the ledge as silk kissed my skin.
       As the stars came into view, my stomach began to drop. My hair curled upwards around my face, blowing in the fierce wind. I refused to scream. I would not die a coward.
Everything was silent as I fell. The whoosh of freezing wind in my ear was all I could hear. My body began to bend with the force of the fall, but I never lost sight of the stars. A tear slipped from the corner of my eye as I smiled.
It's so beautiful. Like a billion lanterns full of warmth. Is there someone up there? Someone waiting for me? I wondered numbly.
         The air rippled against my skin, embracing me as I fell further. It pushed my arms upwards and I reached for the sky, wishing so badly that I had wings. Will you wait for me, mysterious someone? I want to fly to the stars for you.
        Memories of my youth flashed through my mind, and I smiled. Maybe I would see my family again soon. Does heaven exist?
       The breath rushed from my lips as my back hit the icy water. I could feel it spray up around me as I sunk, closing in fiercely around me. I couldn't see anything. It was pitch black. My body aches horribly from the impact, and I couldn't figure out which way was up.
I didn't fight the water closing around me. I just let it pull me deeper. My skin was beginning to burn from the cold, and the last of my air left me.
        After a long while, my head began to feel fuzzy. I was barely coherent, and I knew I was drowning. My chest burned and throbbed. I must have inhaled water. I realized vaguely as my thoughts faded. And then I was yanked from my body.
      I stood in the water, watching my body sink. Someone broke the surface, swimming down towards me, though I couldn't see his face. I could see clearly now as his arm wrapped around my waist, and he turned with me in his arms. My dress swirled around us as Noah pressed his lips to mine, kissing me passionately. No. I realized. He's breathing for me.
        He gripped me tightly, pulling us upwards. We were deep, and my consciousness was quickly fading. Flicks of color registered vaguely as our heads broke the surface, and everything finally went black.
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         Someone was knocking on my bedroom door. "Nev," my mother poked her head in. "Breakfast is almost here."
       I slid out of bed and followed her to Natalia's room, yawning largely. My head hurt. She joined us quickly, wearing a holey tank top and plaid pajama bottoms. Her auburn hair was mussed, cut to her jaw.
       My father sat in his chair at the dining table, drinking coffee and reading the daily news on synthetic paper. We made a modest amount-more than most of the community- and could afford some luxuries.
     Natalia and I slid into our seats as a slot by the sink dinged, and our assigned meals popped through. Inside were thick burritos, unseasoned and bland, with a slice of buttered toast. My head was starting to pound.
Don't go. A familiar voice pleaded, though none of my family had spoke. I brushed it off and sipped on my milk. I jumped when the voice continued. Don't you dare go.
Go where? I wondered as the pounding in my head increased. I covered my ears, leaning my forehead  against the table.
       "Are you alright, sweetheart?" My mother asked. She had ivory skin and hair like mine. Her eyes were a deep sea green, and her face was lovely. She felt my forehead as I looked up at her.
         "Just a headache," I smiled. Her touch was comforting.
         "Getting out of bed in the morning always gives me a headache," my dad asked, joking as always as I turned to him. He was tall, with crows feet at the corners of his blue grey eyes. He was good looking and strong, with dark brown hair. "I think I'll try getting out of bed feet first next time," he rubbed the top of his head as though it was sore.
       "Eat your breakfast, Adam," my mom rolled her eyes and swatted his arm with a small smile. Nevaeh! The voice pleaded again. Come back to me!
      But I don't know where you are. I thought back as I clutched my temples. It felt like someone was hammering on my skull.  I'm begging you. God, Nevaeh. Why the hell did you jump?
      Jump? I wondered. And then I remembered standing on the bridge. It all came back to me as I looked at my family, who had all stopped what they were doing. They were staring at me knowingly, with sad smiles. My chest ached as though someone were pounding rhythmically on it.
        "Go back," Natalia said gently, touching my arm. "We'll wait for you."
      I gasped and the color faded from my dream until darkness surrounded me. I felt pressure on my chest, pounding steadily. The pounding paused and I felt pressure in my throat.
       My eyes burst open as I began choking, water spilling from my mouth as a hand turned me swiftly into the recovery position. Fingers brushed my neck as my hair was pulled out of my face. Water streamed from my eyes and nose. The gravel beneath my body bit into my skin, and my head was pounding.
A wave of dizziness clutched me and I fell forward. Arms caught and steadied me before my face planted into the rocky ground. I felt nauseous and sea sick.
          "Breathe," the familiar voice commanded, his hand patting my back gently. I coughed, my throat raw and sore. My mouth tasted salty and bloody.
       I finally gasped and rolled onto my back again. I breathed desperately, my lungs aching horribly. He leaned over me, sweeping my tangled, wet hair away from my face again as I choked and coughed.
       His golden onyx hair seemed black in the moonlight as it dripped onto my frozen skin. He was soaked, his eyes wide and frantic as he clutched my face, his necklace swinging out from his soaked shirt.
"Don't you ever do that again," his expression crumpled as he grimaced, touching my head. His hand came away bloody. "I thought I'd lost you."
"You brought me back just so I could be executed?" I asked, my voice hoarse. I felt dazed.
"You're not gonna be executed," he said fiercely, sitting beside me. He pulled me carefully into his arms and examined me. The dress felt heavy and cold around me.
"I am," my eyes were sliding shut and he shook me until they opened again. "Once the keepers find out I tried to run, I'm a goner."
"Nevaeh," he shook his head slowly. "I'm not going to tell anyone. Now are you hurt anywhere?"
"Don't think so. Can I sleep now?" I asked drowsily.
"No, love. You have a concussion. You must have hit your head in the water somewhere. Haven't you ever heard of feet first, first time?" he smiled softly, his thumb sliding back and forth against my cheek as he cradled my head. I could see the snow fluttering above him, soft and slow now.
"I wasn't trying to survive," I said slowly, watching the snowflakes create a halo around him. My words were beginning to slur. "You look like an angel."
"What?" he asked curiously, propping my head up on his arm as he moved to his feet. His arm slid under my legs and he stood, cradling me against him.
"Because of the..." I stared at the snowflakes, feeling unfocused.
"The what?" he prodded as he began to walk. I felt the sway of his body as he carried me, his arms gentle.
"The halos," I said, my eyes slipping closed again.
"Nevaeh," his voice was a little frantic.
"Hm?" I responded, opening my eyes to read his face. He seemed worried.
"Try to stay awake, okay?" he said softly.
"Why?" I asked, looking up at the sky. Stars peeked through the clouds above us, bright and lovely.
"Just try," he said, pulling me up to kiss my forehead. I shivered suddenly.
"I'm cold," I complained, my breath crystallizing in the air.
"I know, love," he murmured as my hand fell from my stomach limply.
"I'm so tired," I said as he began to climb up a set of stairs.
"I know," he said, gathering up my skirts so he wouldn't trip. "I am too."
"Why wouldn't you tell me about her?" I wondered.
"Because it's not safe," he murmured.
"Noah," I said softly.
"What?" he asked, smiling a little.
"Nothing," I shook my head. "I just like saying your name."
"I like saying yours, too," he admitted as the ground straightened beneath us.
He adjusted me in his arms as he continued to walk. The sound of cars zooming past on the wet road vaguely registered in my consciousness.
"Promise me you'll never try that again," he said just as I began to drift. This time I could barely open my eyes.
"I can't do that," I shook my head. "If it comes to dying, I'd rather it be by my own hand. I want to die on my own terms."
"I'm never gonna let anything hurt you," he said, cradling me closer. "Not ever. Not even yourself."
"You can't protect me from everything," I said slowly, trying to focus on his face.
"Then I'll die trying," he answered as a click sounded and he pulled a car door open. He bent down, setting me carefully into the seat.
A glint caught my attention, and I reached up to touch his necklace. I trailed my fingers down the chain, touching the pendant at the base. It was a heavy but simple silver circle with a tree carved on it. The tree of life. I knew every scratch on its surface by heart.
A golden ring with a diamond was slipped onto the chain, dangling beside the necklace's pendant.  It glittered in the headlights of passing cars.
"This is," I gasped as dizziness overcame me. I didn't get to finish my sentence before the world faded away once more.
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