Passing the Bottle

Russell - He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not

Oh my motherfreaking gosh. Between Bae and Bianca, my hormones were rampaging within me. For literally a week after graduation, I saw Bianca nearly naked as she walked around Lily's backyard in a string bikini. I just hoped for something to slip out. However, I resisted the urge to accidentally unlace one of the strings. I kept my distance too. There was no need for me to touch her inappropriately since as far as I knew, she wasn't interested.

Then there was Bae. He couldn't stop calling me. All we did was just hookup and go back to our normal lives right after. His little confession kind of hurt. It was unexpected and not needed. As far as my subconscious told me, I did not like Brian the way that I liked Bianca. Bae and I only sexually interacted because we knew each other, had a mutual attraction and wanted to have sex.

I was thankful when Bianca announced that she was spending the rest of June across the country in Los Angeles with her cousins. That would give more space to attempt to get over a straight girl.

--

"Russie, would you like to hang out after my party tomorrow?" Brian asked me as he walked me back to my car after an interaction.

"I don't know." I said as I opened my car door.

"Come on Russell. Is there something you want to tell me?" He put his body between me and my car, so that I couldn't get in.

"D@mnit Brian. How about you just leave me alone?"

"How about no," he replied huskily.

"When will you realize that I don't like you like that?"

"How about we go see a movie?" Brian said, completely ignoring my question. "The party will be over at eight, so then we can just go afterwards."

"And what if I say no?"

"There is no option in which you can say something that even relates to no."

"Well, I guess I'm going to the movies tomorrow. You're paying, right?"

"Would there be any other way?" Bae got out of my way and let me get into my car. Right before I closed the door, he stole a kiss.

Again, unexpected.

--

Yet again, I was rushing to get to Brian's house party. It started at three and it was going on five as I sped down Aims Street. Then I realized, if I was already late, why should I be speeding. A few more minutes wouldn't matter.

I was wrong. When I arrived in front of Bae's parent's beach house, an ambulance was outside. As I got out my car, someone who looked like Flynn was being pulled out of the beach house on a stretcher. Then the paramedics put the stretcher into the ambulance, closed the doors and drove off, sirens blaring. As the ambulance drove off, everyone piled out of the house. I recognized Liz out of the crowd and ran to her.

"Was that Flynn? What happened?" I asked her.

"Yeah. He might have had a seizure. All I know is that he fell down, started foaming at the mouth and then passed out," she answered. "Me, Danny, Greg, Amber and Rene are heading to the hospital now. But I think Brian needs some help inside." Was she saying that I needed to go inside? Then she nodded her head toward the house. I took that as 'Go inside because no one else is going to help him,' and I went inside.

There was no one inside except for Lily and Bae. Lily was bawling her eyes out and Bae was pathetically comforting her.

"Go clean up, I'll help her," I commanded, as I touched Brian's shoulder. He nodded his head and walked upstairs.

"What's wrong, Lily?"

"I don't want to lose Flynn. He's my best friend'" she wailed.

"Flynn is going to be fine, okay?" I started to caress her shoulder, but I was just as bad as Brian.

"Him having a seizure isn't fine!" Lily yelled. "He's so young and so nice, and that shouldn't happen to him! What if something is really wrong with him? What if he isn't the same after this?"

I took her face and looked her right in the eyes.

"Don't speak bad things into existence, okay? Flynn is going to be okay, no matter what, and don't say anything different."

"Okay," she whispered. I wiped some of her tears away.

And then life threw me another curveball. Unexpectedly, Lily kissed me. I didn't know that she swung my way.

Lily was a pretty good kisser, which caused me not to push her away. I had never really been kissed by a girl, normally I had kissed girls out of dares. However, I really liked it.

We sat there, making out for a bit. Lily's hand moved up one of my thighs, making everything even better.

"Uh, guys, we can head to the hospital now." I jumped away from Lily. I had so quickly forgotten that Brian was even around us. The entire situation became awkward.

Bae walked outside and unlocked his car. Lily and I followed him. I sat in the shotgun seat, so that Bae wouldn't become even more suspicious of me and Lily.

There was an awkward silence during the drive to the hospital.

It was awkward all the way up to finding everyone else in the waiting room. I sat next to Rene and struck up a conversation with her. We had both been a part of the same acting school and had landed roles in an episode of SVU a few months before. In addition, we were going to the same acting camp for two weeks.

After an hour of waiting, Flynn's parents -who had been contacted by Liz- had told us that Flynn would be okay, but was going to stay in the hospital for awhile. We all had to leave though because only immediate family members could see him.

Brian and I had to wait a few minutes because Lily wanted to talk to the Halters for a few minutes. Afterward, we got back into Bae's car and the awkward silence continued. Brian drove Lily back home and then drove back to the beach house since my car was there.

It was dark out and Brian pulled off of the road.

"I guess you know why I pulled over," he said softly. I nodded my head. "Why didn't you tell me? Are you seeing Lily too?"

"What happened was all of a sudden. I'm not seeing Lily."

"Are you bi, experimental, queer?"

"I'm bisexual, okay?" I hadn't told anyone yet. The last person I expected to tell was Brian.

"Is that why you rejected me? Is there someone else that you like? Is she one of the girls? Um, Bianca?" My mouth dropped open. "I'm right then.

"I wanted to bring this up earlier. Why do you continue to lead me on, when you supposedly don't like me? I think that you actually like me and can't admit it, because you're stuck on Bianca, a girl you will never go for you. I think you're closer to being straight than gay, and you had to come up with some excuse to believe that you were bi. So, you came up with a girl, who everyone finds to be hot, and supplemented her as your reason to be bi.

"I'm tired of you leading me on. I don't ever want to have sex with you again if you can't admit that you actually like me; that you might even love me. So, be honest with me, or whatever we have will me over. Do you like me, Russell?"