Passing the Bottle

Lily - Unexpected

When I entered my home, I gave the usual greeting to whomever was in the house, 'I'm home.' I heard my mom call me from the living room, she said that there was a surprise. Knowing my mom, I expected a new furniture set or an even larger TV. However, the suprise didn't have a monetary value to me. The surprise was my older brother, Mark.

I was more shocked than surprised. I hadn't seen Mark in three years, and I had hoped that I was never going to see him again.

"Hey, Lily! I had to come home and see my high school graduate of a sister!" Marcus wrapped his arms around me, just a bit too low for me. I was still in so much shock that I hadn't moved an inch since I had entered to living room.

"Lily, I hope you won't mind, but Mark is going to stay in your room during his stay," Mom said. I did mind actually. "You know we converted his room already, and I don't want him sleeping on this hard couch." I really wished she had bought the new furniture set a month ago. "Your father should be home shortly with dinner - I didn't feel like cooking. Then Mark can catch up with us."

When my mom left the living room, I was glad that Mark followed her out. I couldn't handle being in the same vicinity as him. I wished that I could kill him, but obviously that would end in my life being even worse than it is now.

I had sat down on the not-so-hard couch and everything that he did to me flooded out of the place that I had fortified in my mind.

Four years ago, Marcus raped me. My own brother by blood had raped me. I had never had the closest relationship with him, since we were six years apart, but it was still an okay brother-sister bond.

I had to get a ride home after my friends had a graduation dinner. I was so happy that we were finally entering high school. So excited that Marcus entering my room when the house was empty, that I didn't mind. Marcus hopped on my bed and pinned my arms down. I just laughed it off, since we did occasionally play around, but not that late at night. Then, he put his mouth on mine. I squirmed underneath him as he started to undress me. I pounded my hands on his back and his chest, I kicked and screamed, but he didn't stop and no one came. He whispered things into my ears that I too baffled to acknowledge. Once he was done, I stayed in my room for about two days. I had locked my door and I was grateful that my parents didn't ground me. I didn't understand why Mark did what he did, and I still don't.

After my eigth grade graduation, I couldn't see males the same way. I distanced myself from Mark. My close relationship with my dad fell apart. I couldn't get close to even my late grandfather. Every guy that I knew became my enemy in a way, but they just didn't know it.

Thankfully Mark moved out a year later, and I started to trust men more, just not in the same way. One thing for sure was that I would never be able to marry a man. I still have a wrath against most men, but at least I made up with my dad, and I have Flynn. Besides them, the only guy that I slightly trust is Greg.

So, when I saw Mark again, I nearly lost all of my trust with men that I had to rebuild for three years. I didn't hug my dad like how I normally did when he would get home. I didn't give him a kiss goodnight.

When we were done with dinner, I quickly changed into my pajamas and bundled myself into a blanket. If I was sharing a bed with Mark, I was not going to share a blanket with him too. Though, when he entered, he laughed.

"I think you know what's going to happen tonight, Lily," he whispered. His voice was the same as the day when my fish Jackie died. That day Mark tried to make me feel better. At the time I was ten and he had just gotten his license, so he to me the Gloria's. We rarely went there, since my mom despised the restaurant. However, I really liked Gloria's and I was glad that Mark took me that day. It was something that big brothers were supposed to do. However, I knew what he meant and my memory of my brother being nice to me was ruined.

"Please, don't." I started bawling. I didn't want Mark to rape me again. I pulled myself into a tight ball and started begging Mark. He wasn't going for it though.

He climbed on top of me and started to pull the sheets away from me. I tried moving away from him, but then he growled at me. I shut up then and stopped moving. Marcus slowly undressed me. I couldn't stand it. Tears flowed out of my eyes and I nearly wet myself. I found a spot on my ceiling and kept my eyes there.

Marcus cupped my breasts and other body parts of mine. He touched and caressed me. He complemented my growth since the last time he had seen me. I hated it. I lost my voice to scream for help. I bet no one would come for me even if I did scream.

I closed my eyes as he entered me. He kissed me all over my face and neck.

"I hope you like this," he whispered. "I don't make love to people very often." My eyes shot open and even more tears came out. I couldn't even see my spot on the ceiling. Mark was absolutely crazy and I had to suffer for it.

Still, I laid there as he finished. All I wanted to do was bundle myself into my blanket and cry until I became too dehydrated to do so and then die. Mark didn't let that happen. He covered both of us with a blanket and went to sleep with one of his arms draped over my naked body.

Although there isn't much good you can get out of a rape, at least he used a condom this time.

--

I woke up in pain. My entire body ached, right from my eyes to my feet. Thankfully Marcus wasn't in the room. I pulled on my clothes from the night before. My mind wasn't working at its fullest, so I just wrapped myself in my blanket and cried.

"Lily?" My mom knocked at my door. "Lily? You're a morning bird, and it's noon. Why aren't you in the pool or something?"

"I'm sick, Mom." I didn't have to fake my voice. It sounded pretty raw already.

"Oh Honey, do you want me to make you some soup?" I could hear her hand on my doorknob.

"No. Just don't bother me." It sounded wrong, but it did the job.

"Okay, Honey. I hope you feel better."

All I wanted was Flynn. I had never told him what happened, but I know that he would comfort me no matter what. However, Flynn was still in the hospital. As much as I didn't want to be near a male, I needed someone who could make me feel protected, and I wasn't going to feel safe with a girl. So, I found my phone and called the male version of Liz, Greg.

--
Note from the author:
So, I wrote all of this back in 2015 and I have no inspiration to finish, nor do I remember what my plans for it was. I decided to release most of the chapters at once (now near the end of 2017) because I didn't like that this was just sitting in my drafts. I'll release a few more chapters after this once I figure out which ones I had actually finished.