Guts (EXO)

Decisions

"Oh my god, kill me now," Hyerin groaned. Her feet were dragging behind her as she gripped the straps of her backpack tightly. It was Wednesday and the past few days were a blur of school and mixed emotions about what happened last Friday. She released the stress through training with her brother, who she found knew nothing about M-LX or their father's connection to it. She figured she would want Jonghyun to remain clueless about it. He already had a lot to worry about.

Sighing, she made her way towards her building. She was a little out of it, and all she wanted was to zone out through all her classes and go home. Maybe take a long, much needed nap.

Too bad that wasn't going to happen, when all too suddenly a hand grabbed the back of her collar.

She stumbled backwards. "What the hell-" She whipped around, only to see twelve boys glaring at her.

Shit. "Yes?" she asked in a light tone, straightening up. "Do you need something?"

"Yes. An explanation," Kris deadpanned, his arms crossed in front of him.

Hyerin put up a quizzical look. "About what? About M-LX? I think my dad already explained what needed to be explained last week. Sooo," she shrugged, "can I go now?"

"No. Do you think we would let you get away that easily for what you did to us?" Chanyeol asked, raising a brow.

"What?" She raised her arms in defense. "I was just doing what I was told! It's not like I hurt any of you or anything."

"You put a gun to my head!" Kyungsoo exclaimed.

Hyerin cringed. "O-kay, so I did, but I didn't shoot!"

"You're missing the whole point, Hyerin," Suho spoke, frowning. "You lied to us— deceived us—and it doesn't matter that we just met you; what you did was incredibly hurtful."

"Not only that, but you gave me a traumatic experience with girls! Now I can't date without thinking I'll be set up!" Xiumin pouted.

"Also, you should have just told us the whole deal, not set us up. It's not exactly a pleasant feeling to be taken somewhere unknown and be told that I had superpowers when all I expected was a date," Kai scoffed, giving her an unimpressed look.

"It was really hard to swallow."

"I couldn't even sleep properly for the past few days!"

"I know! It's so hard to focus on anything lately."

"Yeah."

Hyerin bit her lip and clenched her fists tightly. "I'm sorry. There. Are you happy? You know, at one point I was just as clueless as you, and you don't know how much trouble I was put through just to do this. I know what I did was wrong but I did it for...for personal reasons. I did it for myself," she exclaimed, then straightened as she finally realized—really realized—why she did what she did.

"I did it for me," she repeated quietly, mainly to herself. "And I know it's selfish. I know it's selfish to think that way, but I had to," she continued. "I'm sorry and believe me, the guilt that I was feeling for lying to all of you...it killed me. And it's still killing me. I'm not expecting you to forgive me, but I just hope that you all just understand. I know it was stupid but I had my reasons, so...please just understand and know that I'm sorry about lying to you."

With that, she gave them one last look before running off to class.

The boys looked at each other warily. They wanted an apology, and they got it, but they didn't expect to feel so guilty about it.

- - - - -

Hyerin picked on her meatloaf, wallowing in her own remorse.

She knew what she did was wrong and she felt bad, but it worsened after their confrontation. Knowing how angry they were for deceiving them made her want to die from shame.