Guts (EXO)

Just Getting Used to It

A week passedby quickly since Hyerin's get–together with the boys and everyone was beginning to get occupied with their own activities. Aside from their training four times within the week, they haven't received new missions and were not as busy as they usually were, with the exception of Chen and Luhan who have been researching day and night about their current targets.

Since they had more free time than usual, the young agents focused more on schoolwork and other activities. The athletes of the pack caught up with practices  with the exception of Kyungsoo who was still under Lucy's spell. Lay, Sehun, and sometimes Kai would meet up frequently to rehearse their dance routines. Chen helped the vice-president, Lee Jinki, to keep the school in order, while Suho busied himself with the dance that was coming up. Tao spent time alone to practice his wushu while the seniors—Kris, Xiumin, Lay and Luhan—used whatever time they had for exam prep, club activities, and volunteer work to put on their university applications.

Hyerin started to hit the books herself when she realized she was lagging behind her classes because of M-LX. She hasn't seen her father lately either, but if she did have the chance to talk to him, she wanted to at least give him happy news, like his daughter actually making an effort in her academics.

After most of the complicated projects and papers Hyerin had to do was finished, she sought out Tao to help her destress.

"Okay, now close your eyes. Stay like that for a good ten seconds," Tao instructed.

Hyerin did what she was told, folding her legs underneath her and running her fingers through the grass on the ground. She knew what the others meant when they said she was easy to lose her temper. She knew it was her weakness. So what was better to do than learn to meditate with Tao?

"Now," Tao started, breaking the silence, "breathe in, hold it for three seconds, then slowly breathe out."

Hyerin did as he instructed.

"Good. Now relax," he drawled. "Don't think about anything. Free your mind. Just let go."

Hyerin bit the inside of her cheek, trying to clear her mind.

About thirty seconds passed, and she couldn't do what Tao instructed her to do. Free your mind? Just let go? Impossible. How can you not think at all? Isn't willing yourself to not think also a form of thinking? So what was he talking about? How can you clear your mind of any kind of thought? Think of complete darkness or think of a blank sheet of paper? What does 'nothing' look like anyway? How do you think of 'nothing'?

As she was troubled with these thoughts, the boy flicked her in the forehead.

"Ow!" she cried, rubbing the sore spot. "What was that for!?"

"You're not freeing your mind," Tao deadpanned, glaring at her with folded arms.

"How do you even 'free your mind'? How can that even work out? You can't possibly just sit here and completely not think about anything. That's impossible!" 

"That's because you're not letting loose." Tao rolled his eyes. "You're troubling yourself too much on how you can free your mind when in the first place you shouldn't even be thinking at all."

"How is that even possible? Even willing yourself to think of nothing is still thinking! Argh, this is so stupid," Hyerin huffed. "I hate this! I hate meditating!"

"You haven't even lasted for five minutes."

"I guess that's because I don't have a sense of peace in the first place," she sighed. "This is ridiculous."

"Well, it really isn't for you then. You're just not the type to stay still for a second." Tao shrugged, leaning back on his elbows.

Hyerin shook her head in disappointment. "This sucks."