Life lessons and for the many more to come

1

Whenever we talked I could never look him straight in the eyes. I always stared at the little crack in his glasses, the scar on his forehead, or the dip between his eyebrows. I know his gaze was constantly searching mine, looking for a sign that I had a soul because I opened my heart to him, but there are some things people aren't meant to see.

I hurt him, and I hurt him good. Six months ago, if you asked me why I did it, I would've replied, "He deserved it, that selfish bastard."

My opinion hasn't changed much other than that I'd add, "I was lonely, and he was there, and I'd be lying if I said I didn't feel anything for him."

I didn't just conquer him though, I stripped him clean and sucked him dry. I was selfish and I knew that he'd be at my beck and call. But he was unfaithful and he wasn't going anywhere in life and sometimes I still tell myself that I broke him to give him a taste of his own medicine but I'd still be lying. I wanted to know what it felt like to feel so hopeless with someone. Knowing you could never be together because your stars don't align. We were different and too stubborn try to find a common ground. Knowing that someone was so incredibly bad for you and knowing he would fuck you up but talking to him anyway because that's what being a teenager is about. I wanted to be with someone dangerous for once.

And then when I felt him falling, I left.