After After...

Hero

"I knew something was wrong just before we started filming. I would do little things like bump my arm on a door frame or accidentally banging something on my knee and it would leave a bruise but not just a little bruise, these bruises where as if I'd had a fight with a gym addict. I left it for a couple of days as I didn't think much of it but when the bruises kept getting worse I knew something was wrong." My voice is unsteady trying to explain everything.

I can see the pain in Jo's eyes as she sits worried on the sofa, her hands shaking in her lap.

"Ive had the pills for about 3 weeks and nothing seems to be happening so what you saw me doing last night is just something up I do when I feel shitty to, I don't know, get a reaction out of it I guess. I never let them sink into my system, after a few minutes I go to the bathroom, stick my two fingers down my throat, and force myself to be sick. I've tried to hide the terrible marks I've been left with from you by wearing long sleeved T-shirt's or refraining from doing actions that could bruise me and up until now I've done a pretty good job."

I try to get through this without letting Jo interrupt because I know she'll have so many questions that she wants to be answered but as soon as I see her mouth open I dont stop her.

"So that's the reason-" she takes a deep breath. "That's the reason when it was summer all you wore was jumpers or long sleeves?"

I nod my head letting her know that she's right. She brings both of her hands to her heart. I can see that what I am telling her, pains her. That it pains her in a way she had never felt before.

"Why? Why would this world give you this illness . Hero you are the most amazing person in the world, your so pure, so caring. You deserve non of this."

I can see the disgust in her face. The anger in her eyes. The lack of strength in her hands as she tries to keep them on her heart, but they just fall to her lap, like they were before.

"I'm sorry Jo, I'm so sorry you had to find out in such a disturbing way, I wanted to sit down with you and explain it all so that the pain would ease. You weren't meant to find out this way. I'd never do anything to purposely remove myself from this world, I couldn't do that to us, to you."

Her shaky hands rest on mine and continuously stroke my palm with her thumb. Her eyes are closed shut. Cheeks stained from her tears.

"We can get through this, Hero. You can get through this. I know you, I know how strong you are, I know you never give up no matter what it takes."

I don't want to talk anymore, it's hurting us both too much to talk about it so I just pull her into me and we stay like this, arms wrapped around each other, for about 10 minutes.

Me and Jo both know more conversation for this subject will come up in the future, so we both leave it there.

***

We spent the rest of the night on the sofa talking to each other about are potential future, such as things like if we had babies what would we name them. I like the name Robyn, for a girl and Jo liked the name Arlo, for a boy. I couldn't think of a baby girl name I liked but Jo said for her boy name she liked Liyla, when I asked why she said she lied that name because she had a good friend in school that passed away. I didn't ask why, we've had enough upset this after noon and by the way she explained the story I could tell it would be hard for her to explain, so I left it there.

"So I guess that's sorted then?" I joke.

"What is?"

"When we have children the boy will be called Arlo and the girl, Liyla..."

I can see Jo blushing from the thought of us having babies together. I think of the scenario. It makes me nervous thinking about our own little creations running around. I like to think that one day me and Josephine will have babies together but it's still early days, and even though we just had a conversation about baby names, Jo might not even want children. I think that's a conversation for the future though, when we are both more comfortable around each other and ready to settle down.

"Yeah, I guess that is settled then." I think I just got the answer I was looking for.

I can feel my smile widen. I lean over from where I'm sat on the sofa and hug Jo, tightly, never wanting to let go. Her hugs are so welcoming, her body moulds into mine, as if we were made for each other, I believe we are. I burry my face into her neck and place three light kisses, not wanting to leave a mark, but wanting her to feel and know my passion and lust I have towards her.

I really think all this could work out for us. I know at first we were hesitant because we didn't want to jeopardise our friendship, but everything for us in the last few has gone great so far. I feel like i've know the girl for a lifetime and I would do anything for her in a heart beat.

She shifts underneath and stands up.

"Where are you going?" I ask not wanting her to be too far away from me.

"We should watch a movie, I'm getting the remote. Is that okay?" She said with a cocky tone.

"That is most definitely more than okay." My mind eases at the thought of me and Jo, snuggled up on the sofa, watching movies for the rest of the day.

She comes and sits back down next to me and I lean over the sofa to get a fluffy blanket. Once both under and both of our legs wrapped around each other we sit and flick through all the movies that the hotel provides us.