Love, Cassie → L. Evans [PJOXHP]

chapter four

"minnie?"

oh holy shit, that was definitely mcgonagall. cassie could recognize the face pinched with irritation, the trade mark half-scowl half-smirk creeping it's way onto her face. the thing she didn't recognize, though, was⎯⎯

"oof, minnie, the hell you doing in that off brand muumuu?" cassie asked, raking her eyes over minerva's robes.

affronted, minvera smoothed her hands over the fabric and sniffed. "says the girl who wore sandles into tartarus. you have absolutely no sense of style."

"wha⎯⎯hey! those were very nice flip-flops, and they better be, cost me forty-fucking-eight bucks at REI, like jesus⎯⎯"

the rest of hogwarts gaped as the bold newcomer sassed professor mcgonagall and didn't get turned into a toad or ripped of their self esteem and sent to detention.

slughorn elbowed minerva in the side, pasting a small smile on his face. "er, minerva, would you care to let the rest of us on who this is?"

mcgonagall coughed, glaring at slughorn. "ah, yes. everybody, this is cassandra black."

"but call me anything but cassie and i'll rip your fucking dick off and stuff it down your throat. or i'll punch your boob, which arguably hurts more." cassie piped in, and the general population paled.

"cassie!" regulus hissed, scandalized. "shut up!" 

his friends at the slytherin table slid their gazes to him, only now recognizing the similarity of their last names. "do you know this pleb, reggie?" bellatrix snapped.

"wow, that just happened," cassie laughed before anybody could say anything. "i have to admit, that is the first time someone has called me a pleb, but if you want, you could also call me babe⎯⎯"

"oh my god." sirius muttered from the other side of the room.

"you, my lady, are quite hot. you got that whole hair thing going for you, and it works, honey. i mean, the bi in me is trembling."

"cassandra!" mcgonagall snapped from the front of the room. "please refrain from flirting with the students!"

"if you want me to refrain from flirting with the students, tell them to stop being so attractive! why the fuck is everyone a supermodel here, i mean, look at that guy, he looks like a young aaron taylor-johnson, and she could be a fucking kardashian, but without the fake ass⎯⎯"

"wait, is she talking about me?" james muttered. 

"i will tell annabeth on you," mcgonagall threatened, and cassie snapped her mouth shut.

"please no. i don't feel like getting maimed today."

everyone in the great hall was still gaping at her, and minerva could tell she was flourishing in the attention.

"everyone back to your meals! chop, chop!" mcgonagall shouted, clapping her hands together. "why are you here, cassandra?"

cassie skipped to the staff table, propping her head on the edge of the giant wooden platform. "i'm staying her for a few months."

mcgonagall knew better than to ask why, and the pain dancing in cassie's eyes told her not to. "alright. let's get you sorted, then."

///

after she had set cassie up in the girl's dorms, she brought her back to the great hall to be sorted right as everybody was polishing off desserts. cassie eyed the yogurt and berry parfaits scornfully.

mcgonagall sat her down in a chair and placed the sorting cap onto her head, and cassie felt a present rushing into her mind. she fought the urge to dispel it.

ah, a black. someone mumbled, probably the sorting hat. she should hope it was the sorting hat.

yes, it's me, the sorting hat, you idiotic child. also, what do you wash your hair with? i have to sit on your head, and it's terribly greasy. have some respect for the sentient hat, please. did that hat just call her hair greasy? what the heck?

i'm sensing your brave and not very smart, so your probably not a very good fit for ravenclaw. not very smart? not very smart! what was this, a make fun of cassie hat?

really loyal, but not nice enough to fit into hufflepuff. great, so now she was a bully. perfect.

you're quite malicious, but not with cunning or emotional manipulation. you prefer to stab people. so probably not slytherin, either.

she couldn't argue with that.

so, this is awfully and terribly cliche, but⎯⎯

"GRYFFINDOR!"