The sun who saved the moon (tsukishima x hinata)

2. is it my fault

                              1 month later

Tsukishima's POV

I woke up with A painful headache. I touched my forehead and felt a lump as well as dried up blood. I stand up and my knees nearly buckle. Hi shuffle to find my glasses on my bed stand and put them on my face. I carefully walk over to my mirror next to my closet and teared up to the site of a giant scar on my forehead.

What the hell happened yesterday...

Then it hit me.

⚠️Tw

Our volleyball practice ended a little late last night and I had to get home as fast as I could but coach wanted me to stay behind for 15 minutes to talk about some blocking techniques. That was the worst mistake I could've ever made.

I practically ran home before my mom got home but by the time I was at the threshold of my door mom was already there with a wooden plank in her hand.

"My son...why are you late?" She spat, with a small wooden bat. in one hand and a bottle of vodka in another.

"Mom, I can explain. I was held back by coa-"

She threw the bat at me. I remember now. She hit me and knocked me out cold. She must of dragged me in the house and took a few more hits. I'm aching everywhere. I faintly remember getting up in the middle of the night just to get in bed.  I don't remember much. It all hurts, I just want to crawl in a hole and die.

Why can't I be a good son....

I miss mom before my dad left. She reminds me how it's "all my fault" and that I'm worthless. Sometimes I feel worthless. Who am I kidding...before dad left I didn't feel good enough. Always one upped by hinata. I can't serve, I'm just....useless...

It's intensified since mom because abusive. I want to make her job easier, I want to disappear. I want to die. She wants a perfect straight, smart successful son, but I can't give the straightness to her, and dad left because of it. I don't want to be around, it would make her so happy...But...I live another day to see Yamaguchi. I love yams...

He has been my friend for years, ever since I helped him with those stupid bullies in elementary. Reminiscing makes me happy, but the happiness is swept away with sobs from down stairs.

My razor lay under my bed. I pick it up and I look down at it with a blank Expression. Almost like it's calling me.

1 cut...the pain feels so melancholy...so sweet, it burns, I need more, I want to be enough..
2...
3...mom, I want you to love me again
4...
5...I will never live up to expectations
17...Yams will never love me...
I drop my blood soaked razor and looked down. There's 17 new cuts on my thighs...I wanted to cut more and more and more and more...

*phone dings*

I look down while tears drop slowly

Volleyball Dudes
🚬Hi guys just wanted to let you know we are having a practice today. Nekoma invited us to a practice game this Saturday and I want to make sure we are all ready

⚡️damn coach I was boutta get my cream
on

✝️ur what 🤠

👨🏼‍🦲 BAHAHAHHAA

🍠I'll be there.

⚡️MY SHAVING CREAM TF AIASHI you're so gay

✝️says you

👨🏻what. Jesus Christ

✝️don't say my name in vain

🍊HI GUYS...why are we talking about nishinoyas cream?

🥛you'd wanna know wouldn't
You

👨🏼‍🦲OH MY FUCKIN GOD

🍬 DONT TAINT MY BABY WITH YOUR DIRTY MINDS....mamas comin hinata 💕

🍊huh

🚬just be at school today at 330 omg

👨🏻yes coach

👨🏼‍🦲after nishinoya gets his cream on

⚡️💀💀💀💀

✝️let's go to church Sunday nishinoya

                                                                    Ok I'll Be there

🥛 oi grump is here

🍠 oh hi.

Yamaguchi sounds so uninterested in me...at least be excited for me to be around...maybe I'm Overreacting...

I bandage up my cuts and cover my other bruises and scars with makeup. I make my way towards practice. My mom is working right now so I was able to avoid any crossed paths with her this afternoon. Thank god.

I see Yamaguchi and run up to him, then jerked back realizing my much pain my knees were in.

Yamaguchi POV

Things seem distant between me and tsukki, ...but I don't wanna let him down...he's my best friend! I think I gotta tell him about my crush! I'm sure he's be super excited, I'll probably wait until after practice though.

I saw him walk outside of his door, why is he on so much edge?...I haven't seen him this nervous for a long time. He also looks especially tired today.

He's been getting paler and more tired lately. I text him daily but we never seem to keep a conversation going. He has his little dinosaur to keep him company though. I know he loves it beyond  words.

I see him running up to me, I give a soft smile. It quickly drops as I see him practically limp running...

"Are you okay? You look hurt"

"Oh uh yeah I just tripped on my Stairs." He replied

I said okay and gave him a back pat which made him flinch. Why is he so on guard and skiddish?

I think to myself while we walk. We end up meeting with hinata and kageyama on the way and I start chatting with kags.

Tsukishima's POV
I don't like how over friendly yams is with kageyama... I can't say anything, that would make me a bad friend. I don't have anything to worry about.

"HEY" the tangerine yelled
"What do you want"
"I was talking to you"
"And I wasn't"

Why is he so energetic, it's okay when my head isn't pounding, can't he be annoying somewhere else.

"Why are you wearing a headband" Hinata asked. He tilted his head innocently.

"Yeah I was actually wondering that's saltyshima, you ok?" Kageyama asked.

I ignored them and walked ahead.