SHE (Book #1)

Italy Chapters:43

There is a deafening silence throughout the house.
Elias has not come out of his room after we returned. He quietly trudged up the stairs and never left his room. I thought about checking in on him, but it's not my place to do that.

So I stayed in my room, checking in on the people back home, sending pictures of my adventures. Gramps has been taking too long to respond these days, and I am sure he has his hands full with work. But when he does respond, it's relieving. Despite being welcomed into a wonderful family, I know Gramps is the only real family I have left.

I feel a bit homesick.
I miss the miscellaneous adventures I had with Frank. The training in the morning and the studying in the afternoon with Mrs.Margaret. I miss Olivia unexpectedly dropping by, only to drag me out into society.

There is a sting in my heart.
I hug my knees to my chest as I lay my head on the pillow.
In a twisted way, I miss Malachi, too. Though I said things that were needed to be said and did a selfish thing here and there... he always came around. Though he said hurtful words to get back at me, his eyes told lies. At the end of the day, he wanted me to chase him, for once. just for once, so he can convince himself that I wasn't a bad person and that I had emotions to feel.

Being away from home has made me rethink the entirety of the "relationship" I had with him. It wasn't supposed to end this badly, at least more mutual. The biggest problem was the way our minds worked differently. Malachi is easily persuaded by how he feels, and I am quick on my mind. I understood his feeling but wasn't able to reciprocate it equally. I was a comfort source, and he didn't realize it. It wouldn't have worked out.

Regardless, he doesn't deserve the hell his father has brought on the family. I will have to do everything, in the limited power I have, to save him. I have to be the hero in his story, not the villain. He was the reason I started understanding my emotions and accepting care. I stopped flinching at every skin-to-skin contact. I let him explore me in ways I would have never expected.

But he is no good for me. It was all distracting but fun. It was... temporary and that gave me the motive to try something new. Because I already knew the ending. I had nothing to be afraid of.

He was right about us. We are alike in ways of damage, harmed by the family we grew up in. But that's just it. We share experience, but we coped in different ways. Yes, I miss holding him. I miss being the one who protected him from the manipulative life he has been living. But I don't think I can protect him anymore. The truth will come out sooner or later, and all I can hope to do is fix the damage.

I open my eyes and I realize I've dozed off, because the sun has already set, ending an unproductive day. I turn on my lamp, adjusting to the brightness. The stillness of the room is eerie and dead.

I make my way down the hall, seeing the closed door to Elias's room once again. I should check on him. I should.
But I don't know where his boundaries lie.
Instead, I head down the stairs and into the kitchen. Dinner is already getting served, and I hope the smell of roasted chicken will catch his attention.

But it didn't.
Just like that, I am eating dinner alone again, with my own company to keep me alive. I think about this morning, how we bickered over events that bothered the space we share. I smile at the thought of him kneeling to apologize.

My appetite begins to disappear
I grab a plate and put some of the well-prepared food on it, and head upstairs to the west wing. If he won't come to dinner, dinner will come to him.

I knock, "Elias,"

Nothing.

"Elias, dinner is served. Are you going to eat?"