My Salvation | Billie & Jahseh

Chapter 3

Warning: Rape, suicidal thoughts, cursing, violence.
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Billie's POV

I'm sitting on a parks bench and singing along to the song

Hey there you, looking for brighter season
Need to lay your burden down
Hey there you, drowning in a helpless feeling
Buried under deeper ground

I seem depressed, always being bothered never less
Keeping me out of prison and putting me to the test
They ask me what is happiness, you write it on a cheque
Or you feel it on the sweat, when your dick is in the breast

Hey there you
When the lights go out and you're on your own
Hey there you
When the lights go out and you're on your own

If death is what it seems, why is it so vividly portrayed within my dreams?
The fear of understanding the Devil's running his course
Pitchers not receivers, it's coming straight from the source
Remorse, as this time becomes a factor, minds full of greed, exposing your benefactors
Backwards, pace backwards, everybody is superficial
Only breaching the surface, surface upon the Earth
And flames engulf the Earth, and prized possessions, they incinerate
This is far beyond any director tried to demonstrate
See the record, here's the record, take the record, set it straight
Perplexed, only receive slumber when that heaven gates
And this is fairly simple for your breath, try and contemplate your conversates
Hesitate and navigate your inner traits
Back to a time where minds were just matter
If you stated opinions then bones would begin to shatter
It didn't matter back then cause there was no reacting, acting up
Chevy in black, Acura
Accurate facts put the black in fact
If you thought that you are free, you should disregard that
All facts

Guess the song

I came here because I don't want to go home, but I will need to, sooner or later.

I've been kinda into x's old songs lately, I don't know why, they just give me that unknown vibe.
Maybe even nostalgia.

Anyways, this current situation just feels like a dream, a dream which I've been waiting to finally end but it doesn't seem like it's going to, anytime soon.
Men, I don't even feel like there's a point in living anymore.
Everything seems dark, even my soul.
Yet I don't understand why me?
Why my mom can't just break up with George, get a job, and put an end to drinking
at this point, I feel like leaving this world is the only option for peace.
I don't even see it that selfish, no one cares anyway.
Alright maybe someone by a miracle does, they will eventually get over it.
Actually, the only reason why I am still alive is x.
If I died right now I wouldn't be able to listen to his music, watch his interviews, hear his laugh, and hear his motivational speeches.
But who knows maybe they have a sound system I'm heaven.
Hehe

Being alone makes me think a lot.

I checked the time and, oh my, I've been here for a whole hour.
Sheesh
Need to get emotionally prepared hehe

If only she knew :(

"Time skip"

I'm entering my house and the first thing I see is my mom talking to me

I quickly take my earbuds out.