And There Was Only One (Yuzuru Hanyu)

IV There Was One Misunderstanding

The car made a stop.

The rain was drizzling on the windshield.

The radio was playing nostalgic city-pop.

The conversation was strange, almost forced. Miwa was starting to feel uncomfortable.

He was tense, clenching the bag resting in his lap.

Miwa was too tired to react on it, simply letting the awkwardness overwhelm her to the point of numbness.

The night felt ominous.

The humidity reflected on her own skin, the casual breeze giving her chills.

The car made the final stop.

It was Hanyu's building. He was renting an apartment like a visitor would – a stranger.

The air was dense and Miwa gave him a side-look, unsure about what was to happen.

She saw his throat bop, head drop, a bead of sweat on the top of his spine.

The darkness was thick.

He looked up, hair sticking to skin. His mouth seemed dry when he smirked with force.

"Want to come up."

It wasn't a question.

Miwa's heart dropped, it dropped all the way to the floor of her car, away from her body.

Hands clenching the wheel, she stared at him.

He looked at her provocatively, somehow appearing offended.

"Why would you say that?" she barely managed, the rain and the darkness almost louder than her voice.

"Isn't that why you drove me, Ito-san?"

His look didn't waver, somehow more cruel than before.

"No, that is not why –" She felt ridiculous explaining herself, suddenly she realized just how hurt her pride had been. How dare he? her blood boiled, running up her chest and neck. She blushed a crimson red – embarrassed and angry, tears gathered on the surface.

"Goodnight, Hanyu-san." her voice broke.

It seemed like her state affected his facade, eyebrows gathering and hands tightening around the bag.

"It's what girls usually want from me." he spoke like it was an accusation of her actions.

"You've offended me," she looked away, unable to look at him anymore. The movement made the tears escape her eyelashes and run down her steaming cheeks. "Goodnight" she repeated quietly, more as a plea for him to leave than a wish.

"Hm... I'm sorry... Um..." she couldn't see him now, but his voice matched the coldness of the night. "Goodnight."

Miwa drove back to the ryokan.

The air was cold, a surgical smell on the surface. Miwa felt disgusting. The hot bath warmed her boiling body.

She lay in bed, hot and empty. Anger and confusion soaked her pillow and hands.

She felt humiliated.

Miwa got up to go to work the next day, feeling absolutely nothing.

It didn't matter anyway.

***

Something didn't sit right with him.

Yuzuru frowned all the way up the building. His fingers shook while the opened the door.

Going through his routine, he couldn't relax. The cramped muscles only continued to stiffen, making the ache unbearable.

The bath didn't help, it only created a false sense of warmth. He felt frozen inside.

As he sat to read his manga, the only time of day he allowed himself freedom, he froze even more. Fingers and ankles aching, a weight came over him, heavier than the one he experienced when he thought of his family or coaches, heavier than the one of responsibility.

He had hurt someone. Deeply.

His eyes only zoned out on the screen. The weight in his stomach threatened to jump up. He was disgusted. Sweat soaked through his shirt, the fabric clinging to his clean skin. He felt dirty.

"Idiot"

"Idiot"

"Idiot"

"Asshole"

"You worthless piece of shit"

"You selfish vain moron"

Yuzuru mumbled insults like a prayer, turning off all devices and laying down, covering himself up all the way to his eyes.

Sleep came easy to him, disappointment a regular bed companion.

He rose up the next day, stretching and eating, meeting with his mentor and reading Brian's feedback, texting his mom and Ito, feeling absolutely nothing.

It didn't matter anyway.