(#2) 𝕆𝕓𝕝𝕚𝕧𝕚𝕠𝕟.

Chapter 7 - Thorns.

~Kamsi~

*
When life gives you roses, get rid of it's thorns. I've pricked my finger a thousand times, got a few splinters and a few blood spilled out. Sadly, roses are so pretty, so attractive, so loveable... But its thorns aren't so pretty, and neither are they loveable.

*

I told her the truth. I didn't hold back, and I never dared to look her in the eye. You know why? 'Cause every time I did, it felt like I was drawn into a nuthouse, created by my mind. I felt so emotionally strangled, and I wondered if it was too late to change the hand of time and simply pretend like everything was simply okay again. I wished I hadn't told her the truth, because I was certain she couldn't handle it. And I couldn't even blame her for it, not even if I tried.

And when she spoke. I swear, it felt like my heart was dragged right into a snake pit. I nearly, almost, cried. Call me a wimp, a sick arse or whatever... But I almost cried because I knew that my sister was trying her very best, just so this family didn't have to fall apart. She was trying. But I wasn't. I never even dared. In the end, all that effort of hers, proved to be so useless.

"So... So dad's really the villain?" I didn't answer that. I couldn't even dare. In fact, I still couldn't even afford to look her in the eye. Gawd! It almost felt like those eyes of hers would burn me. The hurt. The betrayal she felt. It felt as though I could feel it, too. However, her final question threw me off the edge. I stumbled with my words, choked on them, and wheezed at the hazardous effect.

"Does this mean that... That—" she gulped. "Does this mean that dad actually killed mom? You—you weren't lying?" Her voice shook, and I could see that those words felt like titanium on her tongue. I finally took the risk, and glanced at her, and I realised that my potential answer already shredded her to pieces, shattered the bits of hope left in her, and ripped every piece of her into bits and bits of piled-up rubbish.

I gagged myself, inwardly, feeling so stupid. She was messed up, the truth was hurting her mentally and emotionally— I could tell. But, no matter how much I wanted to lie to her and simply keep her in the dark; I just couldn't. I figured she deserved to know the truth. She had a right to the truth. I felt it was time she knew the truth. She had been fed so much lies, that she was so certain she was in the right, not knowing she been in the dark, all this time.

"Yes." That was all it took to rip a sob out of her.

"How— how could he? How could he do that to her? She loved him so much. I don't understand why he could have..." She trembled, shook her head, buried her head in her palms and slowly slid to the floor. It was then that I had to act fast. I had to get us out of Alisa's room. I couldn't risk anyone finding out that we were in there. How was I going to explain it?

And so, with a heavy heart, I led my distraught sister out of the room. I wanted — more than anything — for Kambili and I to talk. But I couldn't dare to speak to her while she was clearly devastated. I decided we'd talk some other time. For now? She needed to rest for a bit.

"How could he, Kamsi?" She kept saying, as I led her back to her own room.

"It's okay, Bili. Please don't cry." But she wouldn't stop crying. Instead, it felt like I worsened it by telling her to stop.

Although my heart crumpled painfully within my chest, and felt as though blood was being wrung out of my heart, I still felt the need to act like I was put-together; for Kambili's sake. It felt as though a major burn-out had occurred right there in my chest, and I found it difficult to normalize my breathing. How could I, when my sister was heartbroken because of me? That hurt in a million ways than one.