Loved You First (A One Direction fanfic)

Chapter 1

I let out a long sigh as I stared up at the sky. My palms were outstretched at my sides, feeling the point of each blade of grass beneath my touch. I turned my head to the right to look at him. His eyes were closed and he had a small smile on his face. He looked so peaceful. Everything around me felt so serene, it was a shame that all of this would soon be ending.

I finally gathered up the courage to begin the conversation we had been dreading the entire afternoon, "So when are you leaving?" My best friend, Zayn pried his eyes open, and looked at me, revealing to me his hazel irises. I could seriously get lost in his eyes, his gaze completely captivating me. He sat up a little, leaning on his left elbow. He scratched the back of his neck and looked down at the grass in between us. "Well.. the day after tomorrow. I'm going to have to do a ton of packing." I could tell he was trying to make the tension between us disappear, his chuckle coming out more as a whimper. He pulled out a blade of grass before finally making eye contact with me. "I'm so sorry, Anna." He spoke, just above a whisper.

I watched as he studied the blade of grass he twisted in his fingers, before tearing it in half and dropping it down to be lost in the sea of grass we laid upon. I couldn't help but feel as if that blade of grass would soon represent our solid friendship. Tore in half and then completely lost and forgotten forever. But it was crazy to think like that. I shook the thoughts out of my head and went back to staring at his face.

I suddenly gained a surge of confidence, and grabbed his hand. "Zayn, you have no reason to be sorry. This is your dream. I am so happy for you, and you know that. If I could go with you I could. Please, just be happy and win this thing. For me." The last part barely came out, my voice cracked, and my eyes were brimming with tears. I furiously blinked them away, not wanting him to know how terrible I was feeling that he was leaving me. We've known each other for eleven years now, and we have been best friends ever since we met. I can't imagine not having my best friend by my side, for who knows how long? And not to mention the fact that I may be undeniably, madly, in love with him.

I searched his eyes for any sort of emotion, or reassurance. His usually vibrant orbs were now dull, and lifeless. His brow furrowed as he licked his lips, "Just promise me one thing, don't forget about me. Us. Can you do that for me?" I was at a loss for words. Us? I wish I could say there was an us. He truly has no idea. All I could do was nod my head in agreement. I looked back into his eyes, and noticed how close we were now. I could see the flecks of green in his irises. I felt his breath on my mouth, it becoming more shallow as he parted his lips. Before I knew what was happening his lips were on mine. I closed my eyes and kissed him back, my heart racing, as I savored the moment. We pulled away, out of breath. I felt my cheeks turn a hundred shades of red. He managed to speak, "Well, it's getting pretty late. We should probably head back." Once again I found myself unable to speak, and nodding like an idiot. He quickly stood up, awkwardly brushing himself off before offering his hand to me. I gladly took it and stood up. We walked back to our neighborhood like that, hand in hand. Nothing had ever felt so right. Nothing had ever made me feel so happy, and yet, so miserable at the same time.