Hell's Book of Random One-shots

Not A Damsel and Not In Distress - Lucifer (SPN) - Request by TheMidnightPhoenix

"How did you even get caught?"

You twisted as best as you could to look over your shoulder to Lucifer, who you just caught at the end of a shrug.

"Even the Devil can be bested," he replied with a chuckle.

"Uh-huh, of course."

"What? You think I want to be here?"

"Yes, that's exactly what I'm thinking."

Lucifer gasped and you could imagine the mocking look of shock he was displaying, one that didn't work with the wide grin that was no doubt ruining the act.

"How could you think that I willingly got caught for some of the torture play that you were so selfishly keeping to yourself."

You rolled your eyes and dropped your head back with an irritated groan.

"That's not even subtle projection."

"When do I ever go for subtle?"

The door across the room opened with a crack, the doorframe sounding like it was about to come off at the separation of door and frame, no shock given the rickety, run down state of the room you were being held captive in.

The angel who had been foolish enough to capture you stopped, looking between you both with a cocky smirk and a metal tray held in their hands.

"Oh, you haven't managed to escape yet? I thought that's what you great hunters do."

"Yeah well, sometimes it's nice to just sit down and relax before having your teeth pulled out."

"Well, I hadn't thought of that, what a great idea."

"Don't forget about me," Lucifer called, twisting to look over his shoulder.

"Who can?" The angel grimaced, rolling their eyes. "We were glad to be rid of you."

"Oh, who needs torture when your words cut me so deep?"

They didn't respond, instead they set the tray down and picked up one of the five instruments of torture that you were not prepared to face.

Why an angel, of all beings, wanted to use brute force and devices was beyond you but you weren't willing to find out.

They had already used a minor amount of power, taken to using slicing words and the edge of a knife to make nicks and cuts so far but the more that you continued to resist giving them answers, the further their resources were going.

Truthfully, you didn't have answers to give them.

You genuinely didn't have a clue what they were talking about and had, at first, thought that they were interrogating you for your interloping with Lucifer.

This was proven wrong when he turned up and allowed himself to be put in a compromising state, like it was a fun day at the park for him.

The angel leaned down to you, waving something that looked like a medieval pick slowly from side to side in front of your face, their grin taunting.

"Perhaps it's time for a little keyhole surgery, hm?"

You rolled your eyes and dropped your head back, letting out a small groan.

"And to think that my doctor says I'm in perfect health."

"I'll be the one to decide that."

With one hand placed on the arm of the chair that you were firmly tied to, the angel grinned wickedly and raised the pick-thing in a stereotypical slasher-stab move.

As they started to bring the blade down, you slammed your head forward with all the momentum you could manage, forehead colliding with their nose.

Granted, it probably hadn't hurt them as much as it has your forehead, but the suddenness of it did have them flinching back enough to give you space to lift up your feet, which they foolishly hadn't bound, and slam them into the angel's stomach.

By that point Lucifer had loosened the binding around your wrists as you could pull your wrists free, standing up as the angel stumbled back from the momentum of your kick.

They had recovered and straightened themselves in time to see you loosen Lucifer's ropes, not that he needed the help, their eyes watching as the ropes dropped to the floor and Lucifer stood up with a wild flourish and a twist of his neck and shoulders as if he had actually been restrained by force.

"Well," he smiled, crossing his arms, "this got a lot more even."

You hummed and nodded, looking at the instruments on the table then at the angel, whose eyes were flittering between you and Lucifer.

As your fingers ran over, and eventually clasped around one of the metallic death bringers, you smiled and looked to your opponent with a raised eyebrow and an uncontainable smirk.

"Let's have some fun, shall we?"