Kiss My Eyes And Lay Me To Sleep

Chapter 25

My past has followed me and

I just can't get away

I'm not the same as I was

Leaving my disarray

Take me just as I am

(I'm broken down) (I'm calling out)

Pull me into your arms

(I'm hanging on, to every word)

(I'm holding on, to every breath)

Save me from losing myself

I'm hanging on by a thread

Can you see who I am

Underneath my scars

I'm afraid to fall

So I'm holding on to you

No I won't let go

I'm hanging on by a thread

I still can hardly believe

The person I once was

I'm trying so hard to change

Help me work through my flaws

I'll never need

I'll never want

With you, with me

I'm so complete

I'll never run

I'll never hide

With you right here

I'm safe inside

After talking everything over with the boys, I went to lie down in Nath's room while he took a shower. It was almost midnight and I needed proper rest.

Sleep, however, would not come easily. My mind replayed everything and every time, my hand would reach out to grab a hold of Nathan. Whenever he touched me, he made me feel safe, and that's all I wanted right now; safety and security. Quietly, I made my way to the bathroom and slipped in unnoticed. The rest of the boys had given Sena a blanket and pillow to sleep with while she stayed here and made sure to stay by her in case she woke up, frightened, not knowing where she was. I heard the water pour down from the showerhead and I could just make Nath's figure out through the dark shower curtain. This was so stupid. Here I was, wanting to slip into the shower with him, like he did me when we first made our relationship public. I was scared though. What if he didn't want to deal with me right now? What if I was crowding him and he was just looking for some breathing room? I sighed silently and before I knew it, Nath had turned off the water. Shit! I turned as quickly as I could to leave, but a gentle hand grasped mine.

"Where d'ya think you're going?" Nath asked in a husky voice.

Before my insecurities could take a hold of me, I kissed him.

"I need you right now. You're the only thing keeping me sane." I said honestly.

"I need you all the time. You drive me insane." He whispered in my ear.

He kissed my neck lovingly and nipped at it sensually as he pushed me against the wall. I moaned in pleasure and felt my eyes roll back in my head.

Nathan broke from the kiss and stared at me. The hints of green in his eyes stood out even more than they had before. It was damn sexy if you ask me. He pushed a strand of hair behind my ear, and leaned in to whisper in my ear.

"Let's finish this in the bedroom. No one 'ill dare interrupt us there." Lust laced his voice like honey. He once more, kissed my neck. I absolutely loved the feel of his scruff tickling my neck and chin. It was fucking hot and turned me on so bad. I nodded and we both walked out of the bathroom and into his room.

Nath took his time locking the door and I took the liberty of taking my shirt off and having my jeans unbuttoned. I walked up to him and wrapped my arms around him as he finished locking us in.

He turned around and didn't waste any time pulling me close to him. He pressed himself against me and ran his hands down from my hair to my ass. His hands were so gentle, yet strong. I could honestly get lost in just the feeling of them touching me.

He laid me down on the bed once he had the condom on and hovered over me, placing sweet butterfly kisses all over my face and neck. Slowly, oh so slowly, he entered and the real pleasure began. He thrust slowly, making me go insane. I gripped his hair and moaned into his mouth, trying not to let the whole world know what we were doing. I met him thrust for thrust and each time he went deeper and deeper. In the words of some of my dirty minded friends, this was slow, baby-making love; without the baby making of course. He was oh so gentle as to not hurt my arm any more than it already was, and gently kissed the bruised skin on my neck. As I climaxed I swore vehemently and felt my body give way to the hot rush that shot me straight up into heaven. Nath's thrusts were quicker and deeper and soon he too succumbed to his climax. We continued making out after we were both spent. He stayed inside me as he grew soft. Whether rock hard or soft as fur, having Nath inside me felt nice. It felt like we were meant to be.

I sneaked off to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night. Of course, I was just in Nath's shirt and my underwear. I heard sounds coming from the TV in the sitting room and feared one of the boys were awake. The glow from the television illuminated the figures soundly asleep in front of it. Sena was curled up on one side with the blanket and pillow while Max was snoring on the other side. Tom and Jay were asleep in the floor in front of the couch and in their sleep they were fighting for the blanket. Siva was sleeping on the loveseat and Max's feet were nearly in his face. It was too damn funny. I quickly ran to the bathroom and did what I had to do then went back to the bedroom to grab my phone. I snapped a picture of the boys and my young cousin and tweeted it.

SOA_angel_TW: Guess some people aren't meant to stay up late! TomtheWanted , JaytheWanted , MaxtheWanted , SivatheWanted and my lil cousin #crashed so cute! ;)

I smiled as I sent the tweet and retreated back to the bedroom for the night. As I got comfortable, Nath tossed an arm around me and instantly I felt more at ease. Slowly my subconscious allowed me to drift off into unconsciousness…at least for a few hours.