(This chapter will consist of a mental breakdown, just as warning)
Over the years I've learned to except that my parents won't be coming back...
But once and a while I feel as though I want to come back For the milestones in my life such asWhen I graduated from high school or in a year when I graduate from collage
Sometimes I even wish my brother was here even though we never really got along
If I'm being honest I miss Gon and Paige both I haven't seen for over a year now and I wish they where here in my life
Killua has just reentered my life and I don't know how that's going to impact it
"Hey" killua says walking into the room"Hi" I say back
"Btw I have classes tonight so I won't be back until around midnight, okay" he says
"Oh,yeah okay"
"Anyways got to run" he says grabbing his bag and running out the door
I love that man, I love him so much
But....I don't know if he feels the same I mean he asked me on a date but still
Sometimes I wonder what I could have done differently in my life
I wonder if it would have turned out the same
I grew up in a household I'd like to say was normal, but I can't, because it wasn't
I was only little when my brother died at his funeral I didn't even cry people looked at me like I was some insane kid
Even the adults where crying, but I never shed a tear, not one
My parents disappeared shortly after and I haven't seen them since
To be honest I wonder if there dead
After my emotionlessness at my brothers funeral people saw me as insane
They claimed i had no emotion
That I had nothing In me but an empty void
I herd that everywhere growing up
"Oh look it's her"
"I herd she has no emotion"
"She's dead inside"Truly the last one was true
When my brother died a small piece of me died too, we were never all that close but he helped me when I needed him
When I met killua it's almost as if he filled that space
So was I using him, was I using him to for fill my own trauma. What kind of person does that
The tears started flowing
All the years of people saying I had nothing in me I started to believe it
At this point I was sobbing, and I couldn't stop
I knew what I had done know and there was no way of going back and fixing it
I didn't even notice the time
That's when I herd the door open'Oh shit' I thought
"Hey,hey what's wrong" killua said calmly
I couldn't face him not after I had realized what I had done
"I'm sorry" was all I was able to get out
"For what" he asked, gently sitting down next to me on my bed
"I- l-, I know what I did" I sobbed out
"What,what did you do" he did rubbing my back
"I'm sorry, I used you" I said
"Huh, what do you mean" he says looking at me
"I used you to fill the empty void that lurks within me" I said crying more
"No, no you didn't" he said pulling me into a hug
"But, but I did"
"But you didn't, you needed someone in your life to love you, and that's what I did, you didn't use me." He said giving me a small smile
"So, your not mad?" I asked genuinely thinking he would be mad
"Why would I be, I loved you, and I still do."
He saidI looked up at him, "really"
"Yeah" he muttered
"I still love you too"
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I wrote this during my history class and I'm pretty sure I missed something but this was more importantAnyways
Thanks for reading
(Edit, tysm for 168 reads)
This has not been edited
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