My Song For You [JJK]

Epilogue 2: Y/N's POV (Part 2)

The gummy smile, the endearing look on his face, the diamond in his hands and the promise of love that he speaks so fondly while looking at me as if I'm the purest person he knows, weighs down my heart with guilt. I break down to the point where I start sobbing like a child bceause heaven knows,

I'm not innocent.

"Hey, It's okay." Yoongi takes me in a much needed hug and the burn in my heart spreads all over my body. I can't possibly seek comfort from this man that I'm about to tear apart. Yet, that's exactly what I did.

"No, it's not." I whimper, the damn tears just won't stop falling and the pain just won't stop puncturing my soul. I've no right to complain though, not after what I did.

By now, Yoongi has probably sensed something's wrong because he pulls away from the hug, holding me by the arms and looks expectantly at my shaking form who's doing her best to avoid any eye contact.

"Y/N, Look at me." He says seriously and it takes every ounce of courage in my body to look at those dark eyes that scream concern. His eyes silently plead me to say something as his face twists in hurt and confusion, as if saying 'Please tell me everything is okay'.

And how do I do that? I can't, not with what I'm about to say.

I sniffle one last time before taking a deep breath, a look of firmness in my eyes with the obvious hint of guilt that the man still hasn't noticed yet.

"Yoongi, I'm sorry." I steady my breathing while my insides feel like quicksand, swallowing me up whole till I'm hollow and numb.

"What... are you sorry about?" The atmosphere is thick with tension as he clutches onto the ring tightly, bracing himself for whatever he thinks I'm about to say.

"I can't marry you, I'm sorry." I manage to say out loud in a choked up voice and I see his face fall in disappointment. 

"W-Why? Is it because I didn't prepare much? There was no event, Is that why? Because I was planning on proposing on our anniversary in this beautiful garden and I... I had everything planned out but then you came like this and I couldn't hold in my excitement and we can do this again, You can just-"

"Yoongi, No." Every word that comes out of his mouth is like a brick to my face so I cut him off before I could start crying again and confess, "This is perfect, all of it is. It's me that's not."

"What do you mean, Kitten?" His hands roam over my arms in efforts to calm me down and I look away with an unbearable pain in my heart.

"I cheated on you, Yoongi." His hands freeze and so does the air around us. The silence is eerie and the air cold as he processes my confession, my eyes darting over to the diamond ring in his hand.

How did he even afford it?

A few minutes pass by and he doesn't say anything, arms falling limply by his sides and the ring rolled down onto the carpeted floor.

I'm afraid of making any noise so I even breathe soundlessly while he zones out, thinking god knows what. Just when I decide to break the silence, he beats me to it, "Why?". There's an obvious coldness in his usual gentle voice, knowing I'm the reason just adds to the misery that's pinning down my heart.

He doesn't even look at me when he asks that and I shake my head in defeat, "I don't know. I don't know how it happened."

"You don't know?!" He finally looks at me with blazing eyes, anger as clear as crystal shining upon them. His whole demeanor has changed and no one other than me is to blame for.

"You don't know?! I sit here, working hard to become this man who can take responsibility for you and our life that we dream of and you go around screwing other men?!" His voice is as stable as it could get, yet his words are sharper than a knife.

Now I know I'm in the wrong here but that was way over the line so naturally, I retort defensively, "Excuse me? You can't talk to me like that!"

"Are you serious? You slept with some other dude and I'm getting lessons from you on do's and don'ts in a relationship?"

I knew Yoongi was blunt but he was never like that to me. Even when I accidently spilled coffee on his laptop back in college, he didn't scold me for it. So him saying such mean things to me was definitely new and that hurt.

"I didn't sleep with anyone, mind your words." I speak out with anger seething in me. This is not how I expected the conversation to go. I thought all I had to do was come clean about my deeds, apologize and break up with him. I definitely didn't think that I was gonna end up arguing with the man I'm supposed to beg for forgiveness from.

"Yeah? Then what did you do? Did you kiss him? Did he touch you? Did you two make out? Or did you do something more? Did he-"

"I fell in love with him!" I scream, unable to hear all the things he said in a disgusting way. I pant down heavily after admitting my current feelings, making it all silent yet once again.

Even Yoongi's breath is ragged as he looks at me with so much rage. He gets up from the seat and turns away, not sparing me another look as he coldly commands, "Get out."

I gulp uncertainly, knowing I've missed the right timing to apologize. All I can do for him now is quietly leave by his side and get out of his life forever. And that's just what I do.

I take my bags and exit the room without saying anything else. There's no tears in my eyes when I exit the building and sit on a bench in the station, waiting for the train to take me far away from everything and everyone.

This is what I need. This is what I deserve.

Solitude.

[A/N]: I might edit this one day, severely. But until then, This is the end. Thanks for reading!

P.S. The last two chapters are from Y/N's POV a few days after Jungkook leaves her in Busan (Three years ago).