My Song For You [JJK]

XV

Fiddling with my tie for the nth time, I sigh as I look into the mirror. An image of a man in his late twenties, adorned with a sleek black suit, hair styled back with gel and slight makeup on his face stares back at me. His eyes are tired, probably because of lack of sleep the previous night and his lips are tinted a light shade of pink, but he keeps nibbling on them due to the nervousness.

Oh by the way, Did I mention that he looks nervous as fuck?

A huge sigh escapes my mouth as I assess my reflection on the mirror. I look handsome, Yes. But anyone can tell from my creased forehead and sweaty hands that I'm not ready for something so huge.

It's not because of the crowd, nor the media, nor the fans, not even the interview itself either. Although it is my breakthrough interview, the one where I finally look at the people in the eyes and prove them that I am a good son  and that I walked right into my parents' footsteps, unlike their predictions, and that I made my family proud.

As nerve-racking as that sounds, it's not the real cause of my anxiousness. It's because I'm back here, in front of her, right in her hometown. It's because I'm finally back in Busan after 3 years of working my ass off to prove myself and my blood. And today, I'm finally gonna stand in front of her people, and confess.

It's time to put an end to my Busan love. 

And where's better than here? The place where my love for her bloomed for the very first time, should be the place where I let it wither. Where I let myself awake from this sweet drawn-out dream and come back to reality.

She was never mine to keep.

Yet I let myself fall for her.

Even after leaving like that, I let my feelings for her grow. And as they grew stronger, I became more lonely. Not that I wasn't happy, Just the idea of being with her made me happy. Just the thought of being able to love someone again that deeply made me happy. It made me feel alive again.

But that's just what it was, An idea. My imagination that could never come true for she was never there. My memories, my fantasies of her weren't something I could ever eventuate. And as I started realizing this, I decided that I needed to let her go because you can't hold onto something you never had.

And it's finally time to let her go, Happily. And a perfect ending to our imperfect love story is a long overdue confession. Something that I need her to hear before I let go of her completely from my heart, mind and soul.

Just the thought of it makes my heart clench but I heave out a deep sigh, pushing the depressing thoughts away.

A knock is heard from outside and the door clicks open to reveal Jin hyung, also dressed in formals. He gives me a reassuring smile when he sees me fiddling with the cuff of my suit and I nod, prompting him to say, "It's time."

The blinding cameras and hoards of people outside the wall sized glass windows greet me when I walk into the stage and take the sole seat in the middle. After a few minutes of my bodyguards calming the fans down and exchanging of short pleasantries between interviewers and me, the real interview starts. And everyone else goes dead silent.

"Jeon Entertainment is making more profit than it's history has ever seen. What do you think is the cause of that?" A blonde woman with cat-eye glasses asks.

"Our music. As simple as that sounds, It's the truth. Not that we didn't produce good music back then, but it definitely lacked the creativity and passion that we've been showing now. We pick our artists and producers very carefully, so the production of each song we put out is very detailed and well sought."

Satisfied by my answer, the interview proceeds. This time, a male in his forties shoots up his hand and when given the gesture to speak, he asks, "Why did you decide to hold the interview here in Busan, when Seoul would've been more convenient?" 

From the corner of my eyes, I see Seok Jin hyung raising his eyebrows and crossing his arms, as if taunting me to continue with the answer.

"Busan is a special place for me. My parents got married here and I spent a lot of my summers here with my grandparents. I've good memories of this place every time I've visited." I speak in my natural Busan accent, making their eyes go wide in shock, While all the fangirls and fanboys outside once again shout and jump in a frenzy.

This is a revelation, No one knew about our family origins and I'm the first one to come out openly about being a Busan native man. For some reason, People always assumed that the Jeon family belonged to Seoul and nobody bothered correcting them 'cause well, what difference would that make? 

I simply laugh at the variety of reactions, that is until another male's voice pierces through the commotion, "We've heard that you personally take part in producing some of the songs. Is that true?"

I chuckle lowly, but don't fail to notice the females blushing over my deep husky voice, and answer, "I do produce some songs, but that's because of pure interest. As a CEO, I'm not required to do any music related work, I just need to sign papers and approve things, but I've learned that Music is a good way to channel your feelings productively."

A wave of incoherent words emerges and dies soon when someone with a feminine voice asks, "Not only do you produce music, You sing beautifully too. Your song 'Busan Love' is a proof for that. Any plans on releasing your own album?"

The question makes me giggle as the thought of me singing and producing my own album crosses my mind. I recorded that song to sort my feelings out, like a secret confession. It was an accident, That song was never meant to be released to public.

But then this one night when I was too out of it, Of course alcohol and my overwhelming emotions played major part in getting me to that state, I decided to reach out to her via email (I'm a boomer okay?). But I accidentally sent it one of my chief producers, pin all the blame on their similar surnames and the dude, without checking with me twice, uploaded it on Soundcloud with my name and everything.

What's even more surprising was that it totally blew up the internet. The song started spreading like a wildfire and that's how my popularity escalated from 'Young-Hot-bachelor-CEO' to 'Young-Hot-bachelor-CEO-Singer'. The company's shares hiked up and that was when our success reached to an extraordinary level.

"No, I'll... leave that to our professional artists and stick to just producing and signing papers." I wink and sighs and murmurs of disappointment follows.

Suddenly, A hand shoots up in the air, asking for approval to proceed. When the aforesaid is given, it doesn't take him more than a second to ask, "Mr. Jeon, You've finally succeeded in breaking all the records in the entertainment industry. What's the story behind your game-changing song, 'Busan Love'?", Someone in the hoard of reporters ask and I smile sweetly, Mind filling up with thoughts of her.

"I want to find her with my song." I simply say and chaos erupts before me as everyone yells out the same question, "Find who?! Who's 'her'?!"

Reminiscence glazes over my eyes as I smile fondly at the memories. I look straight in the camera in hopes that she might be watching this from somewhere afar and confess, "The one who started it all."