Scott peeked around hallway, watching Ana play with her hands.
He sighed. "It's more than a job. You know that. More than money. More than...it's my dream. It's the reason I exist."
She smiled. "If you had been there..."
He frowned.
"If you had been there you would know."
He shook his head. "What are you saying."
"Liam. Liam. That's not...that's not her name."
Scott rubbed his forehead. "God Ana what are you saying-"
"And if you'd changed a single diaper or been there or-you'd have known-"
"What are you saying?"
"I cannot beat you a son! I tried. Okay? I tried. But...it's not happening. And I don't..."
"We have Liam."
"Lia. I thought at some point you would spend time with her, and you'd know. But you'll never do that will you? And I can't force her to be a boy her whole life."
Scott chuckled. "You...pretended our child was a boy? For three boys."
She sighed. "Yes. But she wants to wear dresses now. She has her own style now. So..."
"I wanted a son. But not this badly, Ana. What is-" he sat next to her.
She closed her eyes. "I'm sick of this, Scott."
He held her hand. "Alright. Alright. You remember that I...I don't care. I wanted a son. But I really just wanted a child. With you. And I got that didn't it?"
He cupped her face. "We have a beautiful girl. Let her wear her dresses."
She looked down at her hands. "Being your wife stole everything from me, Scott. But you won't let me go will you?"
He smiled, holding her face tenderly in his hands. "You know what you need?"
"What?" She whispered.
"Something new. New life. New energy."
"I know who you pretend I am," she whispered. "The Ana from your hallucinations. I'm not her. I'm not her, Scott."
"Shh..."
"I can't sleep."
"Hey, hey. Listen. You know...you know what? You know what we should do?"
She looked at him through lidded eyes. "What?"
He paused. "Our marriage is going through a rough patch. All marriages do. You know that index card? That address?"
She nodded. He smiled. "Let's go. I'll show it to you. Because you're right, Ana. I can't let you go. You're my lover. You're my wife. My accomplice. My prisoner."
"But hey, hey, look at me? What I show you at this address, it's gonna change us, okay? You'll see. Get dressed. Come on."
"Come on," he urged her. "Or we can just go out like this. No ones gonna see you."
She shook her head listlessly making him sigh.
He leaned in kissing her gently. "Please."
• • •
Morgana's heels sunk into the soft grass. Scott paused, with a sigh, slipping them off her feet, holding her hand.
"It's an empty patch of land."
He shrug. "A plot of land? Yes. Empty? No."
She frowned. "You're not...saying what I think you're saying are you? Because you'd never just come out with it."
He smirked, undoing his tie. "Welcome to...my hobby."
She looked away.
"I tried. For you. For the kids. I really did. But it was this..." he trailed off, looking away. "And maybe I should've listened to Will. Maybe I should've never became a surgeon."
He chuckled. "But can you imagine? Who the hell would I even be if I hadn't? You tell me!"
Ana shook her head in silent horror. "No...you're...taking the meds."
"Yes. I am. Never missed a dose. Perks of being a sociopath though, I don't think I feel too bad. Not about this. Because what's here? I've done three times as much good. Easy. It's...a balance. As long as I do as least twice as much good-"
"There..." she whispered, with a scoff. "There's no...rationale, Scott. There's no give in take you can't scale this-!"
He took her hand. "Can't I?"
She shook her head. "Our kids..."
"Are fine. And you and I will be too. You said we don't spend enough together. I have secrets. This is it. This is the only thing I don't share with you."
He pulled a case out of his pocket, unzipping it, the sound rippling through the field.
He held up his scalpel. "It's just this." He put it into her hand gently.
"Maybe I have neglected you. Maybe I should've abandoned surgery. Maybe I wouldn't be here. Our marriage wouldn't be in shambles. But I did. I made my choices. Now you make yours."
She looked down at the metal, her reflection in it, eyes wide with fear.
"Why exactly are you asking me?"
He smiled. "We need something. We are adrift and the longer we float, the worse it'll be. We need a secret. Something only we know. Something forbidden and haunted."
He touched the scalpel in her hand, making her look up at him.
He smiled down at her softly. "We need a life jacket. This is our life jacket."
