The Ardor of Every Day

16.

Almost a week had passed since Naruto last talked to Sasuke. Sasuke hadn't even replied to his texts yet. Naruto was frustrated. He was losing his patience. For three days he didn't have work either, he couldn't check if Sasuke was at work. Things looked bleak as more time passed by. He wanted to send more texts, questioning him and begging him to reply. Although he refused to be needy when in fact he was. They had only known each other for a couple of weeks, maybe Sasuke didn't like him anymore after all that had happened. Naruto's mind was usually a well-oiled machine but it was squeaking annoyingly at the moment. Thinking rationally, was out of the question and overthinking was the answer. Naruto had assumed that Sasuke didn't want anything to do with him anymore. He essentially ghosted him. But Naruto wanted everything to do with him. He wasn't going to let their liaison end like this on an idiotic whim. It was Saturday evening, Naruto had decided to go see Sasuke tomorrow.

The following morning, Naruto woke up determined and enthusiastic. In the evening he had decided to go see Sasuke. As the bread popped out hot from the toaster, Naruto grabbed a butterknife. Carefully, he took out the bread and swiped across a layer of salted butter.

"Good morning, no beach today?" Asked his mom as she entered the kitchen.

"No, just gonna do some homework again." He answered.

"Well I just wanted to let you know that dad and I are going to your uncle's for dinner. You can join us if you want."

"No, I think I'll pass." He took the toast and some coffee and headed back to his room.

While focusing on homework, he thought about the things he wanted to say to Sasuke. He looked towards the window to the balcony and imagined Sasuke sitting on the floor, looking out. Toying with his lighter, smoking a cigarette and giving Naruto an apathetic smile. Cheeks hollowing and going back to normal as he let out smoke and stared into the distance as usual. So much weight behind those eyes, as he deliberately held them up. He was still infatuated with how mysterious Sasuke was. He knew there was much more to him than meets the eye. It's as if he wanted to shoulder all of Sasuke's distress alongside him. For some reason, he felt enveloped by Sasuke's existence. Naruto turned on the music to get his brain to stop thinking and to focus on the work. Almost half of the day passed by as he threw himself into schoolwork. The next time he checked the clock, it was already four in the afternoon. To freshen himself up, he went to the washroom and decided to change the outfit as well. After washing his face, he stared at himself in the mirror, looking at every singular droplet of water. What was he about to do? He ran through the situation once again as the space around him seemed to shift. Before the reality settled in, and everything he was about to do seemed like a bad idea, he decided to move away from his reflection. At once, he wiped his face and went downstairs with his things. Things he carried in his bag included, earphones, his wallet, a headband, a tiny water bottle, sunglasses and a charger. As he went downstairs, the house was empty, meaning that the car was gone. He put on his shoes and started walking towards the flower shop. He unlocked his phone to inform Sasuke that he was coming to see him. Even though Sasuke hadn't replied to any of his previous texts, he still wanted to be polite. He turned on the data and put on music for his walk. As he pressed the play button, an annoying ad played, suggesting he get the paid version of Spotify. Naruto never had the luxury to casually afford such things, and he didn't like to ask for things from his parents. But the ad annoyed him so much at the moment, he considered paying for it while he still had a summer job. Life had been pretty normal for Naruto, nothing had been tragic or extraordinary with him. Romantic advances had been absent until now as well. All of these situations came together, what Hinata felt as well as this association with Sasuke.

He wanted to check the flower shop to see if he was at work, and he was willing to wait around till Sasuke got done. Once he reached, he saw the closed sign hanging on the door. Disappointed, he turned back and sat on the curb in front of the store. Should he go to his house? Would that be going too far? What if his family was home? Fuck it. He was going. He got up and looked up the bus route to Sasuke's house and started walking towards the bus stop. It was going to be approximately a thirty-minute ride. While he waited for the bus, he almost altered his decision as his apprehensive feelings were catching up to him. But his heart was already too deep into what he wanted to do. Feeling thirsty, he brought out his water bottle, which he didn't fill up before leaving, hoping there still might be some left in there. He raised the bottle to the sky and put his tongue out in hopes to catch even a couple of drops as he shook the vessel. Just as he felt some tiny droplets going down his throat, he also felt a couple on his forehead. Confused, he looked at the sky with scrutiny as he saw more dismal clouds gather themselves all over the vast expanse above. He stepped inside the shelter as the rain got heavier by the second. In the inadequate space, he chose to pace around, but stopped, when he saw the bus distant in his vision through the scratches and water on the glass. He walked outside as the bus pulled up and halted, making a technological grunt. The machine made a beep sound as he tapped his bus pass on it. The seats were dulled down because of the use, and the poles connecting to the roof of the bus were a bright vermillion with several scrapes. Naruto sat on a singular vacant seat on the right side. Before crouching down he quickly glanced over at the other passengers. There were only a few, what appeared to be a small group of middle schoolers near the back and two other people sitting away from each other. The song changed, and the lyrics prompted Sasuke back in his head. He shifted and relaxed back on the cushioning after raising the volume to drown out the noise from the uproarious engine. Naruto was reminiscing of the time he first hung out with Sasuke, how he said he wanted to see Naruto again, which ultimately put him in a trance of joy. When he got his first proper look at the slim cheeks, when the smoke uncovered his face, the first thought (that would repeat later constantly) in Naruto's head, which was how effortlessly prime he looked. How he dodged Naruto's eyes and painfully smiled through whatever was going on in his head. This particular moment felt the downright opposite of that. Naruto was in a frenzy of thoughts, most of them about how this was an unruly idea. Although that day from the past and the times they were together after were a felicity, it appeared as if Sasuke wanted nothing to do with Naruto anymore. Maybe he had his reasons, but Naruto at least wanted to know what they were. He peered out the window, looking at raindrops slide down as his hand slowly tapped on his thigh to the beat of whatever song was playing, occasionally getting mad inside his head when an ad came by.