Love Is A Battlefield (Alan Wilder x Martin Gore)

2: Walking In My Shoes

One week later, March 25th, 11:43am, the living room:

Esme's body spread across the length of the sofa under the comforting warmth of her favourite blanket which had her name sewn into its fabric. Feeling sorry for herself, she hugged her plush animal tighter towards her chest and wished that she were at nursery. She still couldn't quite understand why she wasn't allowed to go, for all she felt at that moment was a minor yet heavyweight exhaustion. But she soon saw the bowl on the table and remembered how she'd vomited a number of times during the previous night.

As soundlessly as they could, Alan and Martin walked into the room and stood by the door to check on her, and Alan immediately frowned.

"Isn't she pale?" He whispered.

"Yeah, poor girl. Nurseries are a nuisance, always spreading germs around." Martin agreed, shaking his head.

"I know but- Have you ever thought maybe this is just her body's way of indicating anxiety? She's going abroad for the first time she'll remember soon and I was just thinking she could be physically anxious about it."

"Maybe, love, but you might be overthinking just a tad there. I think it's just a little bug or something's disagreeing with her. Don't you remember how she reacted when we told them? She wanted to go to the airport right that minute! I doubt she's too nervous." Martin tried to think optimistically. "I do hope she gets over it quickly, though. I don't want to have to reschedule our flight at the weekend." He walked over to the sofa and knelt down to speak to his daughter.

"God, I hope so too." Alan said to himself, staying at the threshold of the room.

~~~~~
Three and a half hours later, 3:07pm, the playground:

Once again, Alan found himself completing the school run on his own whilst his husband stayed home with their sickly daughter. Esme's condition had improved within the last few hours, but he was still feeling deeply concerned and uneasy about her. They were already experiencing challenges and the tour hadn't even begun yet, but he stuck on a smile for the sake of Poppi. She hated when he felt low and could always tell when he did, no matter how much he tried to disguise it. She got that intuition from Martin, he thought; for a child, she was exceedingly shrewd and thoughtful.

With a shallow breath, he pulled into a parking space and brought the car to a stop, taking the keys out of the ignition. The playground was chock full of impatient children, waiting to be collected by their parents. The sound of their voices mixed into a cacophony of sheer racket. To the left of him, Alan could see some children playing in the jungle gym and to the right, others running into the arms of their mother or father with bright and beaming faces. It reminded him of Esme; she did that to him every afternoon, her curly hair sweat-stuck to her forehead. All of a sudden, he was withdrawn from his haze by the tap of what felt like a small hand on his leg. He turned around to see Poppi looking up at him, lunchbox in hand and rucksack hanging off of her right shoulder.

"Oh, sneaking up on Dad, are we?" He said with a giggle and lifted her up into his arms. "You monkey girl."

"I told my teacher I could see you already so she let me go, Daddy!" Poppi put both hands around her father's face and tilted her head, giving a gap-filled smile. "Hey, how's Mae? Is she doing any better after last night?"

"She is doing much better! Not being sick anymore which is always good news. Me and your Papa think it might've been the chocolate milk you two had after tea last night, actually, so hopefully she'll be back to nursery in no time." He responded, placing his daughter back down on the ground and helping to remove her rucksack.

"But, Daddy, I drank more chocolate milk than her and I'm fine!"

"I know, darling, but you know what that sister of yours is like. Sometimes dairy upsets her tummy. That must be what's different about the pair of you compared to each other." Alan shrugged. "Anyways, what's important is she's definitely on the mend. Let's get you home."

Slinging Poppi's rucksack over his shoulder, he followed closely behind her as she skipped forward towards the car.

~~~~~
Twenty minutes later, 3:28pm, the house:

Though her aura remained timid and quiet, Esme had colouring return to her face and she was feeling well enough to sit on Martin's lap at the window side, anticipating her sister and father's arrival home.

"Do you think you'll be able to give a little bit of tea a go tonight, sweetie?" Martin asked, his arms wrapped around her.

The response he received was a curl-bouncing head shake.

"No? Aw, well, that's okay. Just keep drinking lots of water for Papa, okay?" He reached over to the table and grabbed Esme's sippy cup, passing it to her.

Esme nodded, taking a sip from her cup. Whilst doing so, she heard a familiar sound. It was the sound of the front door unlocking, which she knew could only mean one thing.

"I think that's them now!" Her father scooped her up and placed her on his hip, walking over to the porch to greet his husband and eldest daughter.

"Afternoon," He smirked, pecking Alan on the lips.

"Hi, Papa!" Poppi tightly hugged his legs.

"Hi, Pops!" He gently bent his knees to stand at her level and kissed her head full of dirty blonde hair. "Good day at school?"

"Yep! And I snuck up on Daddy." She replied and Alan rolled his eyes jokingly.

"Yeah, played by my own daughter." He and his husband shared a laugh. "And how are you, my sweet Esme?" He rubbed his youngest daughter's shoulder.

She suckled on her index and middle fingers, something she did when unsure of how to express her emotions and feelings. She let out a yawn and relaxed her head down onto Martin's shoulder.

"Aw, girlie." Martin kissed her head lovingly.

"Tired, honey?" Alan added, to which Esme nodded, still without speech. "I think you need an early night. Then you'll hopefully wake up and feel like your usual cheeky Esme self."

The family then decided to let Esme rest on the couch once again whilst Poppi completed her homework task accompanied by her father in the dining room. Seeing her sister in such a poor state made Poppi feel low. Made her feel regretful. Regretful that it hadn't happened to her instead. She loved playing with her and spending all her time with her. She loved being Esme's elder sister. She knew that Esme was the only younger sister she would ever have. And she knew it would only be a matter of time until Esme was well again and once more, they would get to spend time together. She smiled at the thought.