Heathen

|09|

Barre

     I stare at the food in my hands, wieghing it in each palm. I decide it would be better to be safe, and I fold the rest of the food into a cloth wrap and push it into my bag.

     The past day I have done hardly anything but pack for the long journey to the palace. Elodie is completely oblivious to my need to prepare for our trek. She watches me come and go with clothing and first aid supplies, cute red eyebrows raised in curiosity. Intelligent eyes following my every move.

      She probably is wondering what took me so long to bring her back to her rightful place. I have to admit that she acts as if she's content here. Despite my little den and lack of pampering, I have done everything I can to make her comfortable.

      Elodie has shown no sign of being upset by my home or food. In fact, she often smiles at me like there's no place she'd rather be. I know that it's impossible. It must be because she's a "human". Or, she is just trying to make me feel better about what I lack.

     I wouldn't be surprised. She is sweeter than any creature I've met. She snuggles up to me like a kit in my nest, I wake up to her petting my hair and running her nails over the back of my neck.

     Most times, this warrants a reaction from my body. I cannot help the excitement that shoots through my veins at the slightest touch from the female. All of it is new. I don't mind it.

     I haven't received affection since my Mama succumbed to the infection that took all the females. I didn't realize what I had been missing.

     As a gladiator, the only interaction with flesh I had was pain, or causing hurt. But now, now I touch her back, my fingertips gentle. I cannot be too careful with Elodie's thin skin and soft body. I cringe to think how easy it would be to inflict an injury on her.

     That's why I can't keep her. I am a rough fighter, a rugged mountain dweller with no knowledge of how to keep a mate. How to make a female happy. How to raise kits.

     A deep, throbbing sorrow erupts in my chest. I run a frustrated hand through my hair, hating the helpless feeling that follows and clings to me.

     Latching the bag, I pat it in approval. I packed everything relatively quickly. I'm happy with what I've accomplished in a short time. Having Elodie here has inhibited me from hunting, or walking my forest. I have a lot of land that I own, and I like to keep it maintained.

     But I can't leave her here. And she seems to have an unusual reaction to the woods. She gets an odd look on her face when she stares out at the trees. It gives me an unsettled feeling. I want to protect her and comfort her in any way that I can, but how can I do that when I don't know what it is that troubles her?

     "Barre." My voice being called alerts me to the little she standing in my kitchen with a smile on her face. As always, time seems to slow to a stop when I spot her.

     "What is it, tiny?" I wonder, grabbing my bag off the counter and walking closer to her.

      The nickname is something that I thought was funny at first, but it stuck. It fits her.

      "waat aryew do-en?" She asks, coming closer to tug on my arm that is likely as long as she is.

     I roll my eyes playfully, putting a hand on top of her head and moving it from side to side. I don't know the words she asked, but I can guess, and I don't have to endure any embarrassment if I get it wrong because she cannot understand me either. It just feels comforting to talk to her.