Wild Heat (GirlsGoneWild Series #1)

Chapter 17

I sighed. I'm kinda nervous but I have to do the right thing. I don't want to lie to myself. I know I miss him so much but I also know that I will never see him the same again. I should blame my sister and not him. Pero alam kong sa desisyion ko ngayon, pareho kaming masasaktan.

"Uh... Seb-"

"No please... I kind of have a feeling na you would say something hurtful.."

I sighed again and held Seb's hand. "It's for the both of us Sebastian.. for my peace of mind.." My eyes began to water, lumalabo na ang paningin ko dahil sa mga luhang nagbabadyang tumulo.

"You know na hindi ko naman ginusto 'yon diba?"

"Yeah... I know... pero nangyari na eh. At aminin mo man o hindi, kahit lasing ka, kayang kaya mong tumanggi. Kasi dapat naisip mo na masasaktan ako. Kasi dapat naisip mo na kapatid ko 'yon. Kasi dapat naisip mo na, ay si Z iiyak yon kapag ginawa ko 'to."

"Pero hindi ko talaga alam Z. Lasing ako and I think she spiked my drinks. Wala talaga ako maalala. God knows I'm not lying right now. Please babe.. I love you so much" from sitting on my couch, he kneeled in front of me, held my hands and covered his eyes with it.

"You gotta understand Seb, I can never see you without seeing the smirk of my sister on the picture on the back of my mind. It fucking hurts. Hindi ko akalaing of all people, kapatid ko pa talaga." I started crying now, neverminding my sobs. I need this

"Tangina kasi ng kapatid mo. Desperada! You know me very well Z. I would never ever do this to you. If my drinks weren't spiked, hindi 'to mangyayari."

"Seb... I have to stop you from courting me. I'm sorry pero biglang nag iba."

"What changed? Tell me please baka may magawa pa ako."

I shook my head. "Hindi, hindi ganon... parang... para bang hindi ko na makita ang future ko sayo bigla. I can't afford to have you beside me then makikita ko kapatid ko na nakangiti sakin, mapang-asar.. as if telling me na kahit anong gawin ko, kahit anong saya ko, natikman ka niya. May nangyari sa inyo! Seb! May nangyari sa inyo ng ate ko." I sobbed so hard.

"Zianna, I already planned our future together. Hindi kita pinakawalaan noon para lang mawala ulit sakin ngayon. Hindi ako nagtiis noon para lang mangyari 'to. Tangina Zianna, mahal na mahal kita at alam mo yon." he is sobbing now.

I pat his back and caressed his hair na ngayon ay basa sa pawis kahit sobrang lamig naman dito sa condo ko.

"My decision is final Seb. Find someone else, or try my sister. She's easy anyway."

He looked at me, very angry now. "Ganyan ba kababaw ang tingin mo sakin Z? Para ipag tulakan mo ako sa kapatid mong walang kwenta? Ang sakit naman non."

I smiled bitterly "Then go on with your life, continue to strive, continue your future, without me in it."

He hugged me tightly shaking his head. "No.. no.. I will give you time, space, anything you want. I will let you heal and forget about it.. just please please. Don't end us here."

Hindi ako umimik, sa tingin ko ay eto na ang desisyon ko, hindi na magbabago, wala nang makakapag pabago.

He kissed my temple and he stood up, still crying. "I will eat on time Zianna, I will give you time to think more. Hindi kita guguluhin, siguro magtetext or tatawag minsan pero wag mo muna sagutin. Miss na miss lang kita kaya ko magagawa yon. Kapag ready ka na, saka mo ako tawagan o replayan man lang.

I am looking at his sad eyes right now. What the fuck happened to us? We used to look at each other with so much love and happiness. Anong kagaguhan 'to?