Haikyuu Reacts to AU's (Mostly Seijoh reacting to Oikawa AU's)

Oikawa Angst

This one shot is going to have extremely sensitive topics, please be careful when proceeding.

⚠️Suicide, self harm⚠️

If you are dealing with anything please remember that you are loved. I'm here for anyone who needs help or just to vent, I'd be happy to be of assistance whenever I can. This is also going to be a very toxic Seijoh AU and toxic Iwaoi. I love both Seijoh and Iwaoi but it works best for what I'm planning on doing so sorry if you don't like it. Yahaba and Watari are the only ones on Oikawa's side and sticking up for him.

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"Where are we?!" Mad dog shouted.

"Calm down, I don't mean any harm. You're just here to react to a few things about your captain." Nova said.

"Why that attention seeker?" Maki said, rolling his eyes.

"Because you need to know exactly what you're doing." Nova told them, looking at the team with a cold glare.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Kindaichi asked.

"You'll see. Now let's begin." Nova said, snapping the screen on.

You could see Oikawa sitting on the floor of his bedroom leaning against one of the walls. A bloody razor blade was discarded a few feet away from him. You could see dozens of new cuts on his wrists and there were even more old ones, not all of them visible beneath the blood from the new cuts. Oikawa stared off into space as tears streamed down his face in a never ending waterfall of pain and suffering.

The team froze up, not one of them daring to say a word.

"What the-" Matsun started, only to be cut off by Iwaizumi.

"Why the hell is he doing this?!" The other third year yelled.

Yahaba's fist tightened and his face contorted in anger as he stood up out of his seat.

"Yahaba, no." Watari tried to stop the angered boy.

"No, Watari. I've had enough." The team all looked at Yahaba in confusion. "This is your fault!" He snapped at them, while their eyes widened. "I've told you over and over again that you should be nicer to Captain and that you're going to far. But noooo, and now look what you've done. It's pathetic. The only thing he's ever done was be a bit too cocky and confident for his own good. He doesn't deserve the way you're treating him, and you guys sure as hell don't deserve someone as wonderful as him in your life. Especially you Iwaizumi. You're his boyfriend, yet you're constantly picking on him." Yahaba growled at the team, who lowered their heads in shame.

Everyone's head whipped towards the screen once more as they heard Oikawa starting to sing.

I'm always so alone, even when surrounded by people that I know. He sang beautifully, smiling through the tears that continued to pour down his cheeks. I'm always so astounded by my ability to ruin everything. Losing friends and starting fires, everyone thinks I'm a liar. It showed a flashback of Oikawa saying that he was going to cancel practice because he wasn't feeling well and it showed the team calling him an attention seeker. Oikawa smiled at them and walked home, immediately running to the bathroom and puking his guts out when he arrived.

"Why didn't he say it was that bad?" Kindaichi said.

"Would you even believe him?" Watari asked.

I always stay at home, cause I'm not good in public. It shows Oikawa denying invitations to hang out and making up excuses. I sit here on my phone, I'm always disappointed. I watch them live their lives, I wish that I was happy. It showed Oikawa scrolling through his teams social media, watching them smile and have fun at yet another hang out he wasn't invited to. He tried to smile while looking at the pictures but it dropped and he looked exhausted.

"He looks so tired..." Matsun said.

Victim of my generation, time machines can not erase it. Oikawa grabs his head, some of the blood from his arms getting into his hair. He didn't seem to notice though, or maybe he just didn't care. Who am I supposed to be? When will I be complete?

"I-i'm so sorry, I should have been nicer." Kunimi said, tears springing into his eyes.

When will they be proud of me?

"W-we are proud, I know we don't say it often b-but we're really proud." Maki stuttered, trying not to let the tears pooling in his eyes slip down his cheeks.

It's getting harder to see. Oikawa's eyes lose focus and come back a few times.

"He needs to take care of those cuts." Yahaba said and Watari looked up at the screen with much concern.

Oikawa grabbed the razor blade from beside him, adding another cut on each arm. Slit my wrists, bloody fists.

"NO!" The team screamed at him, heartbroken and powerless to do anything to stop him.

Pain persists. Evil gifts. Fucking up my life to shit.

"No, this is our fault not yours Kawa" Iwaizumi said, letting a few tears slip down his cheeks.

I'm worthless! I'm worthless!

"N-...n-...no y-you're not" Mad dog said, trying really hard not to cry.

I'm worthless! Slit my wrists until I bleed out. He made another cut on his left wrist.

"Stop it!" Watari shouted at the screen.

I try to stay strong. No matter what I do, I'm always in the wrong. It never gets easier.

"It will, I promise! We'll stop! It'll get easier!" Kindaichi yelled.

But maybe that's the point.

"Huh?" The team wondered out loud.

It's part of growing up. Messing up and learning from it. That's just life, it's necessary.

"H-he, oh god" Yahaba said, turning and crying into Watari's shoulder.

"What's that mean?" Mad dog asked.

"It *hic* it means *hic*" Watari takes a deep breath. "It means that Oikawa accepted the fact that he'll never be treated well and feels like it's natural."

Everyone's heart broke a little bit more when they heard this.

Clinging to hope, what else is there to live for?

"There's so much! Your dreams, your wish to travel, there's so many people who care about you." Iwaizumi said, wanting to go back and fix everything he had done.

Got no where to go, what else is pain good for? I am confident that your life has a purpose. It's okay, you will get through it. Don't give up cause someone needs you.

"Yes! That's right!" Maki said, hope shining in his eyes.

Who am I supposed to be? When will I be complete? When will they be proud of me? It's getting harder to see. Slit my wrists. Bloody fists. Questioning why I exist. Pain persists. Evil gifts. Fucking up my life to shit. I'm worthless! I'm worthless! I'm worthless! Slit my wrists until I bleed out. He cut once on his right wrist and then after a minute his slit both of his wrists once again. Scarlet blood oozed from the cuts as Oikawa stared at it, hypnotized.

The team was regretting their decisions and crying as they saw their captain looking so broken and defeated.

"Well, that's all goodbye."

They were about to scream but before they could Nova had snapped them out of the theater.

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(1213 words)