Be My Candlelight | SunHak

17 again [JuRic[

First of all I apologize in advance because this chapter had absolutely nothing to do with Be My Candlelight😭💀 Well Yeonjun does get an honorable mention:) this is a JuRic oneshot that I'm actually really proud of so I wanted to share it with you:) i thought some of you might like it❤️so enjoy this special chapter<3(also thank you so much for nearly 5,000 views;) just 100 and sumn more to go and we're there!)

Eric was stuck. It was those moments where you know what it is that you want, but you don't feel like you deserve it just yet. He wanted it. He wanted it so bad but he knew he wasn't worthy of it.

It started when he was 17.

His best friend had just dropped a huge bomb on him.

"I love you." He said.

Eric froze.

What? Was he hearing things? After everything they've been through how could he just say that?

"You don't mean that, Juyeon," Eric said quietly.

"Yes, I do!"

Eric interrupted. "No! It's in your head- that stupid kiss fucked with your head! Just pretend it never happened, Juyeon. It was a mistake we both know that."

Juyeon looked hurt. One could imagine. Pouring your heart out to someone then having it chewed up and spit back out.

"How could you say that?" Juyeon asked, voice weak. "Eric I've loved you for years. That kiss just proved that you feel something for me too."

Eric groaned. "No I don't! Juyeon, that kiss meant nothing. I was bored, you were there. I like girls."

Eric never regretted opening his fucking mouth more than he did in that moment. Because the look on Juyeon's face as Eric said those words would stick with him for the rest of his life.

He looked betrayed. Humiliated. Confused. But more than anything he looked pissed.

"So that's it. You kept me around for your own fucking entertainment. God I should have known." Juyeon scoffed softly.

Eric opened his mouth to speak but the words just wouldn't come out. Fuck.

"No- no Juyeon I'm sorry I didn't-"

"No of course you meant it. Otherwise you wouldn't have said it. So tell me then, was I fun? Was I as fucking easy as your friends said I was?" Juyeon ranted off in a rage. "I can't believe I thought you were my best friend."

"I am! Please I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. What can I do to make you forgive me?" Eric begged.

Eric tried approaching Juyeon, but the other just backed away.

"You can stay the fuck away from me." Juyeon spat and stormed out of the house.

And Eric never saw Juyeon again. Not a day went by where Eric kicked himself for being so stupid.

At 17 Eric couldn't accept that the possibility of him liking boys existed. He wanted to fit in, not stand out. He was in denial for years.

And when he kissed Juyeon that night at the party, he panicked. He liked it. Loved it, even. He fit so perfectly in Juyeon's arms, their lips molded together perfectly. Eric felt like time stopped and they were the only two people in the world.

He was terrified, fucks sake he was 17. Peeing in a public bathroom was terrifying. He couldn't afford to have feelings for his best friend. So he denied it. All of it. Loving the kiss. Loving the way Juyeon looked at him. Loving Juyeon.