unknown number ʳᵃⁿᵇᵒᵒ

14

SWAGMEISTER42069 IS NOW LIVE!
     causing havoc for smelly gamer men

"HEY CHAT!"

"okay."

"so."

"hi."

"its me."

"coraline."

"why is my username swagmeister42069? BECAUSE SWAGMEISTER WAS TAKEN!! I AM PISSED OFF. BEYOND FUMING."

"oh my god why are there so many people."

"wait did he—?"

"of course ranboo fucking tweeted about me. what a loser."

"GUYS DID YOU KNOW THAT RANBOO IS HORRIBLE AT GETTING FOOD? i told him to get me two bacon mcdoubles with a small fry and 10 piece nugget and he you want to know what he got me? THREE! THREE bacon mcdoubles, a LARGE fry, and a 20 PIECE NUGGET! GRANTED HE GOT ME ALMOST DOUBLE OF WHAT I ASKED SO I DONT KNOW WHY IM MAD BUT! GO CANCEL HIM ON TWITTER OR SOMETHING!"

"please dont cancel me on twitter."

"omg hey hot stuff"

"hi coraline."

"wanna go make out?"

"literally shut up i'm so tired right now."

"whatever. what are you up to, pretty boy?"

"homework."

"ew. you do that?"

"yes. you should too."

"hmm... nah i dont think so. i just got invited to the fucking dream smp. i dont need to graduate highschool."

"you still need to— WAIT YOU GOT INVITED?"

"YEAH. I AM ABOUT TO JOIN RIGHT NOW."

"I AM LOGGING ON."

"I THOUGHT YOU WERE DOING HOMEWORK?"

"IT CAN WAIT."

"AREN'T YOU TIRED?"

"NOT ANYMORE"

— ❀

"so when is the divorce?"

"no—"

"coraline we can't traumatize our child like that."

"just because you get divorced doesn't mean your child has to be traumatized. my parents did it and i turned out fine."

"coraline are you sure about that?"

"no. but still! you two have to canonically divorce because i said so."

"tubbo i want a divorce"

"WHAT? just like that? just like that and its over? you... i can't believe you! what about michael!"

"tubbo i want a divorce so we can remarry. this time with coraline as our bride."

"what"

"oh so we're doing that now? ok im down"

"coraline... will you marry us?"

"hmm."

"sure. yolo i guess"

"LETS GOOOOO"

"POGCHAMP."

"MICHAEL COME MEET YOUR STEP-MOM!"

"hey coraline do you want to watch the office?"

"i am never logging onto this server ever again."

"you will though."

"yeah i will"

"LITERALLY HOW THE HELL DO YOU DO THAT?"

"do what?"

"CORALINE LISTENS TO EVERYTHING YOU SAY! SHE NEVER LISTENS TO ME!"

"im just cool like that"

"no youre not."

"WHAT?"

"youre not cool. youre hot."

"YEAH HE IS! SEXY!! SEXY MAN! HEY SEXY!"

"HEYYYY!! HEY SEXY! HI!!"

"its funny to think that every action ive ever done has led up to this moment"

"because you're sexy."

"YEAH!"