Best I Ever Had [IwaOi Angst]

Chapter 15

The ball sails past both of them, hitting the court like a dead weight, Hanamaki's fist just a centimeter too short. The referee blows his whistle, the crowd cheers.

Oikawa's hands are tight fists at his side. Iwaizumi is gritting his teeth.

They line up.

Their last match of their second year of high school is over.

They've lost.

It's bitter in the locker room. The third years aren't speaking. The first years are crying for them. Matsukawa stares at his gym bag, unmoving. Hanamaki stares at his hands. They're all moving in slow motion, gathering their things.

Their captain says something, they respond robotically and all move out to go eat.

Oikawa doesn't budge.

Iwaizumi knows what he's thinking, because he's thinking the same damn thing.

I let our senpais down.

Because this was different than last year's lost. This time they were starting players. This time, Oikawa was their starting setter.

This time was supposed to be different.

Iwaizumi throws a fist at the wall in frustration, and the tears start falling down his crinkled face.

Oikawa looks back at him, eyes soft.

"Iwa-chan." He murmurs, and he can't bear to look his best friend in the eye, so he stares at the towel he's gripping in his hands, "I'm sorry." He chokes out.

Iwaizumi stares at him, "Don't." He hisses, "Don't fucking apologize."

Oikawa loses it then, gripping the towel in his fist and twisting it tightly "It's my fault they read my toss!"

"It's my fault they received my spike!"

"It's my fault I didn't block their spike!"

"It's my fault too!"

"Iwa-chan!" Oikawa cries, and he crumples over a little, hugging himself tightly. The towel falls to the ground with a wet slap. His fingers dig into his arms and his tears won't stop, "I'm so-so frustrated."

"You think I'm not either?" Iwaizumi snaps, coming over in a rush.

"It's like no matter what we do, he can just smash through it. No matter what we think up together he ruins it in his-his stupid Ushijima way!"

Iwaizumi wipes at his eyes, letting out a growl because he can't even think through his anger to respond in words. Oikawa understands. He lets go of himself, reaching out to tug Iwaizumi close, to hold him, to cling to him.

Iwaizumi returns the hold.

"Iwa-chan." Oikawa hisses, burying his face in his shoulders, "I hate losing." His fingers dig into the back of Iwaizumi's jersey, gripping the sweaty fabric tightly in his fingers.

"Next year." And it's all Iwaizumi says, but he says it like a promise. Oikawa half believes him.

They stay like that a moment, wrapped together, taking a ragged breath and trying to stem the tears. They give themselves this moment. It's too short. They pull apart because their team is waiting for them. And they don't want them getting suspicious.

Despite the fear, Iwaizumi grips Oikawa's hand, squeezing it tightly. Oikawa squeezes back. He wipes at his eyes with his other hand, trying to take a calming breath.

"Iwa-chan." Oikawa starts again, voice still raw and shaky despite his efforts, "When we get home, can I kiss you?"

"You don't have to ask." Iwaizumi replies. They each take another deep breath and head out of the locker room together. When they cross over the doorway, they let go of each other completely.