Best I Ever Had [IwaOi Angst]

Chapter 14

Oikawa groans, pulling up the covers above his face to shield himself from the sun's invading rays. He curls up, leg brushing against the now vacant spot beside him. He kicks out idly, wishfully. But there's nothing there, and his leg simply glides against the dirty sheets. There's a slight burn in his knee.

He hears the faucet in the bathroom and the buzz of a razor. He presses his face into his pillow, groaning again. The buzzing stops after a few minutes and soon after the door opens.

Oikawa peeks out to see Ushijima, selecting a tie from his wardrobe. It's a deep purple.

"You should shower." Ushijima comments, in his usual monotone.

Oikawa groans louder, "What time is it?"

"7:46." Comes the precise response.

Oikawa wants to vomit and he curls up tighter, "Are you trying to kill me?" He whines.

Ushijima blinks at him, "No?"

Oikawa rolls his eyes, and sits up, "Ug, never mind." He snaps, rubbing his face.

"Are you alright?" Ushijima asks, looking over as he ties his tie expertly.

"Super." Oikawa responds, stretching himself out.

Ushijima squints at him a moment, "You are being sarcastic."

"You're evolving." Oikawa notes, "It's seven in the fucking morning of course I'm not alright."

Ushijima frowns, "I see."

Oikawa remembers now, why they never bother with small talk when they meet up. It's draining. It's horrible. It's more trouble than it's worth.

He lies back down, staring up at the ceiling.

"You will be leaving my home eventually?" Ushijima prompts, combing his hair through once, twice, done.

"I wouldn't want to overstay my welcome." Oikawa sighs out, never glancing away from the white wall above him.

Ushijima doesn't say anything, but he seems to regret his words, if only for a moment. After a silent beat, he slips on his jacket, "I am going now."

"Great." Oikawa murmurs, a hand lying across his face to make the room a bit darker. His speech is muffled. He hears Ushijima leave the room with a click of the door.

Oikawa screams into his pillow and wonders what he's even doing anymore.

After cutting off ties with Iwaizumi, with Japan entirely, minus his family, Oikawa had plunged himself into his schoolwork and practice. He didn't spend time outside of his room if he wasn't in class or in the gym. He didn't see people. He didn't talk to people.

It was working. His grades started to rise almost immediately, and it drove him further. And that was all that mattered. That and coach's complements.

Oikawa did feel dead inside. Like he was empty, like he had lost everything when he'd given it all to Ushijima that stupid stupid night months ago. He wasn't himself. He couldn't be himself.

He kind of wanted to die. He really wanted to die. But his parents were so proud of him, and his coach was so encouraging and his grades were going up and he didn't want to be a bother. And at this point he had lied so much about having a great time, he couldn't break that mask to his mother and father.

So, he trudges along, head in the books, feet on the court, passing the days.

And then he breaks again, late in his junior year. He shatters. Because you can only live so long alone before you become desperate for another person.