Just Oneshots

Captain Bitch Boy

Tankman x Reader

Captain, Sergeant, John same thing

@fawk im looking at you bitch

This is tankman speaking; Cock Joke *bold*

This is Steve *underline*

And this is the reader *basic bitch*

Also italics would be thoughts or 2nd point of view since i tend to write like that a lot

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Another day of living, another day of putting up with Captain's bullshit.

Every single day is a living nightmare for you, the only good thing about it is Steve's food. But why does it feel like you're in hell anyway? Well, first of all Captain, yes the literal captain of the tankmen, wakes you up by shooting your damn door down and then he goes ahead and throws your plate of pancakes on the floor because he "saw a fly on it". It took all of your energy to not grab his gun and shoot him in the head. At least Steve realized how much of a pain he was at the moment and kicked him out of the kitchen. Now it was just you and him eating his pancakes in a calming silence.

Until, for the second time that day, the door was plummeted down. By who? Oh well no one other than Captain.

"Well well well, what do we have here?"

You and Steve look at each other in confusion.

"Let me guess, after Steve kicked me out of here both of you went kissy kissy behind my back eh? ugh disgusting really"

"Please refrain from speaking out of that damned mouth of yours"

"My pleasure"

"Oh no, now he's a homophobic Chick-Fil-A employee"

"Oh silly Steve, how can I be homophobic if I'm your friend?"

"Wait what do you mean by that"

"You are gay right?"

"Didn't you just say something about me and Steve kissing? That doesn't sound gay at all to me"

This made Steve sigh in disappointment while you snickered lightly. You got to admit, Captain does have a good sense of humor. Besides all the cock jokes of course.

"Wow looks like sugertits finally loosened up a little huh?"

"Dont call me that you fucking virgin"

"God damn it Cap, can't you see she's clearly uncomfortable?"

"Its not even my fault is it?"

"I barely laughed at your joke, its not a big deal"

"I mean is it really?

He says that while getting closer to you from across the counter, where you and Steve were sitting at peacefully before he came in. Now he's standing right in front of you, pointer finger out, inches from the tip of your chin.

"I swear to god if you touch me, I will not hesitate to step on your dick"

"So what if I just-"

He puts his pointer finger on your chin and lifts it up to where he is able to look down to you, closing in the space between you and him, little by little.

"You guys do realize I'm still here right?"

Captain then regains back his posture and turns to Steve, to which he just facepalms.