A stream of my Conciousness

Haunted

I feel haunted.

She follows me,

Sometimes less intensely than others.

I can feel her,

Stuck in a loop in my head.

I'm afraid to turn around in case all of this thinking

Summons her.

She's not dead.

I think

The ghost that is haunting me is probably long gone

The last time I heard her speak

Nicely

To me

Was four years ago

And yet her words sometimes echo round my head

Even though I don't really remember what she

Sounded like

Most of the time I go weeks without seeing her

Then one walk to town

Playing some music

That I thought about her one time

Listening to

Bosh

She's round every corner

In every swish of a ponytail

How she was more confident in her sexuality than me

How she doesn't know I have a dog now

How she could pop up this second and fuck up my day

I'm paranoid

The whole way there and back

So, I no probs not to listen to that song again

Take out my headphones and face

The void which is my headspace

I will always carry this

But some days it feels heavier than others

We are all carrying things

At least I don't have to carry

The responsibility of keeping her alive anymore

I gave it back four years ago

And it's been getting lighter ever since.

Notes:

This poem is about her 1 again :( but It has a good end. I am enjoying dictate on word. It helps me be more effiecent. Also this is a pretty good poem. Written a while ago but it makes u happy/sad at the end. Hope ur having a good week.