Deepest secrets

finished, done

I'm finished, diminished

These sleepless night are painful,

As my thoughts race, thoughts of them,

Thoughts of her coming back to beat me,

I lay on this cold hard ground,

Wishing for a car to run me over,

Wishing for a escape,

Just wishing thoughts could be erased.

With every breathe I'm talking,

I'm dying,

I'm hurting,

I'm beaten.

Every hit, every comment, every word

That's said and thrown at me,

I'm breaking,

I'm tearing,

Why can't this world just leave me be?!

Why can't I just be free?

Why is this world so painful,

Why is it so hard to breathe.

Isn't it bad enough she's raised a hand?!

Isn't it bad enough I'm bruised,

Tattered

Torn?..

Am I really ever enough?

Was my pain and love never enough

Did they really have to tear me down

Did they really have to hurt me like that?

Am I just a sick joke?

Don't tell me I'm the reason why you drink

Don't you dare tell me I'm the cause of,

The beatings

Your drinking

Your addictions

Your failure

I've worked too hard

and bottled up myself so much that,

I think I can make it..

Am I dreaming or is my life real...