Hard living

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My mind races, my heart is out of it,

As I think of that blade yet again,

I think of that Crimson colour,

Lastly I think of the reliefe

I want to Dowse myself in beer,

I want to take any and every kind of

Pill, I want to be free, I want to feel.

Maybe my love never was enough,

Maybe I'm as broken as they say I am..

Maybe I really am as sad as I was before.

Can I ever feel real happiness,

Can I ever really smile again?

Or is it all a sham,

Am I to blame in this wicked game?

I know my pain, I know my shame,

I want to know happiness & trust.

I want to know what love feels like..

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