Marvel (MCU) Song Fics

Exile

I can see you standin', honey

With his arms around your body

Laughin' but the joke's not funny at all

Steve had been watching Bucky's new life with Sam. He tried to keep his distance, not be seen. He wanted Bucky to move on. Steve hadn't realized how hard he was making that with his presence. He wondered if Bucky was really okay with his choice. He seemed to be, his eyes shining as he laughed at something Sam had said - something Steve didn't find funny. What Steve hadn't realized was that Bucky, a trained assassin, was aware of everything. Including Steve's presence. Steve was satisfied with his choice of living a life with Peggy, beyond satisfied even. He was happy. Something in him hated the fact that Bucky seemed to move on. He almost wanted Bucky to be stuck on him, to love only him. There was a part of him that wanted Bucky to only be his, even when he chose someone else. Even though Bucky wasn't his first choice or his choice at all, Bucky was still his. His heart panged with jealousy as he watched Bucky begin to rebuild his life.

And it took you five whole minutes

To pack us up and leave me with it

Holdin' all this love out here in the hall

Bucky had been angry for a long time. Steve had left him and hadn't stopped for a second to think what that might do to Bucky. He didn't even say goodbye. Bucky was forced to stand and watch as Steve left, assuming he'd return. He didn't return, not how he was before. He came back with stories of a life Bucky would never get to experience, one that didn't include him. He was forced to just stand and watch as his heart shattered. The thought didn't take Steve more than a moment. Bucky was an afterthought, something that seemed more like a nuisance that needed to be dealt with rather than a whole, complete thought. Bucky was already trying to rebuild himself from the ground up, but he thought he would have Steve to help him along. Instead, Steve left him with another mess to clean up.

I think I've seen this film before

And I didn't like the ending

You're not my homeland anymore

So what am I defendin' now?

You were my town

Now I'm in exile seein' you out

I think I've seen this film before

Bucky had been left time and time again, abandoned by people he thought were his closest friends, or at least trustworthy. He never took Steve to be a person to do the same. Despite being left alone, he found himself defending Steve over and over again. Stepping into conversations to share who he really was. Why though? Steve was nothing to him anymore, just a whisper of a memory that could never be replicated. He was now just an outsider with a distant memory. Bucky could barely grasp onto the memories, Steve was at least able to remind him. He clung to any scrap of Steve he could, any writing, photograph, or behavior. He carried around his notebook that had all the things he wanted to experience to catch up with the modern world. Bucky wanted to fulfill that bucket list. If he had his way, he'd do it with Steve. Instead, he had to do it alone.

I can see you starin', honey

Like he's just your understudy

Like you'd get your knuckles bloody for me

Second, third, and hundredth chances

Balancin' on breaking branches

Those eyes add insult to injury

Bucky noticed Steve watching him with Sam. How could he not? He was sick and tired of seeing him everywhere, forced to see the face of the person who destroyed him. Why was Steve so jealous when he's the one who chose to leave? Bucky had been trying so hard to move on, to continue with his life, yet when he did that Steve wanted to stop him again. He kept adding salt to the wound, slicing it open right as it healed. He had to drag himself up over and over just to get forced back to the ground. Bucky was tired of giving people second, third, fourth, and even beyond chances, everyone he allowed back in would just betray him again. He vowed to be better than that. He kept meeting Steve's eyes, the hurt cutting a little deeper each time. Somehow, he forced himself to look away.

I think I've seen this film before

And I didn't like the ending

I'm not your problem anymore

So who am I offending now?

You were my crown

Now I'm in exile seein' you out

I think I've seen this film before

So I'm leavin' out the side door

Bucky was always so proud of Steve. Everything that he was, what he fought against, who he was. The serum never changed him, and Bucky envied that. He was always just...good. Steve was his pride and joy, and suddenly he was nothing. Bucky was once again left behind, a footnote in a great story. He was an afterthought in the great novels that were written about Steve. The sidekick who didn't have his own story. He was no one if not Steve's best friend. He couldn't take it. Seeing Steve watching him was angering him, so standing from the barstool, he pushed through, leaving the dimly lit bar. Forcing his way through the people, he walked down the hallway that crossed the back of the restaurant, pushing out the employee door and into the alleyway.

So step right out
There is no amount
Of crying I can do for you
All this time
We always walked a very thin line
You didn't even hear my out (you didn't even hear me out)
You never gave a warning sign (I gave so many signs)

Bucky was never a person to really cry. Even if he did, he wouldn't shed tears for Steve, he didn't deserve that. He didn't deserve to break Bucky after promising to repair him. They together made a promise: "to the end of the line." The line was far too thin, far too breakable, for Bucky to put his faith in. Yet he did. He pretended the line was sturdy, steadfast, and never ending. The rope ran out before he knew it was happening. He had tried to desperately cling to a frayed edge that couldn't support him. He had lost Steve. Steve didn't even say goodbye. He didn't even take the mere moment to say goodbye to Bucky. Bucky had so many words, so many reasons for Steve to stay, yet Steve never stopped by to talk to him. It was as if leaving was far easier than facing the reality of what he was doing. It was an abrupt end to decades of love. They had been searching for each other for decades, and when they finally reunited Steve left.

All this time
I never learned to read your mind (never learned to read my mind)
I couldn't turn things around (you never turned things around)
'Cause you never gave a warning sign (I gave so many signs)

After saving Bucky from Hydra, Steve felt like he didn't know him. Even after spending years with him after he recovered, Steve still never learned how to understand Bucky. The way he spoke, the way he loved, the way he expressed his emotions. Steve didn't understand it. He assumed Bucky still knew how to understand him, but he was wrong. Bucky felt like he didn't know Steve anymore. He gave Bucky so many signs he was leaving, yet Bucky never saw any of them. Bucky gave Steve so many signs that he was relying on him, that Steve was all he had, yet Steve ignored them. Or he just didn't see them. Either way, Bucky was left alone, forced to repair what Steve had broken all alone. Just like always.

I think I've seen this film before
And I didn't like the ending
You're not my homeland anymore
So what am I defending now?
You were my town
Now I'm in exile seein' you out
I think I've seen this film before
So I'm leaving out the side door