Ginny Weasley and the Heir of Slytherin

Ginny's Bad Day

A few weeks later, Ginny was in considerably lower spirits. Although Hagrid apparently bought her story that she had run away from him because she had suddenly remembered something she had to do and that she hadn't visited him since because she was so busy with schoolwork, their tea together was the definition of awkward. It certainly didn't help that there wasn't really anything to talk about anymore other than the Chamber of Secrets and Hagrid seemed to want to avoid that subject as much as she did. She hadn't visited him again after that.

She knew throwing away the diary had been the right thing to do, but her life felt so empty without Tom Riddle. It was hard to remember how scared and unclean he had made her feel when his absence made her so lonely that she hid herself away in bathrooms to cry almost every day. It was now more obvious than ever that she really did not have any friends. Her tears were her only friends now. Ginny almost found herself thinking a few times that writing to Tom Riddle might just be worth it if she could somehow ensure that people would only be Petrified and not killed. But that would still be incredibly selfish of her.

Obviously, she needed to make some friends, but all the friendships had been made back in September when Ginny was too engrossed in that stupid diary to notice she didn't have any friends in the real world. She should have made friends with someone her own age on the train like Harry and Ron did in their first year, but instead all she could think about was finding an empty compartment to write to Tom Riddle in. And even now Ginny felt ashamed enough of herself to not want to be around other people, but she also wanted to not feel lonely. It was so confusing and thinking about it made her want to cry. And talk — talk to just someone about what she was feeling.

Who could she be friends with anyway? All three of her dorm mates were out right away, particularly Fleeta Fleece. She had had enough of Lorelei over Christmas, and she didn't see how she could be particularly close friends with Kimmy without coming between her and Lorelei. Besides, Kimmy was Muggle-born and being around Muggle-borns still made Ginny feel a little guilty. The same applied to Hermione, who was now out of the hospital. And Ginny could only imagine that being Hermione's friend would probably involve spending a lot of time in the library trying not to be bored to death. Sometimes Ginny felt like stopping a random person in the hallways and asking them if they wanted to be friends with her. That was how sad and desperate she had become.

Of course, there was one person she had wanted to be friends with for a long, long time. But famous Harry Potter deserved so much better than someone so weak and pathetic that she would jeopardize other students' lives to feel better about herself. But that was all over now and she could still be a good person. And Ginny still really, really wanted Harry to like her. Maybe someday — no doubt years from now when they were very close — she would tell Harry her secret. He would see how sorry she was and if he still liked her after that she would know that he really did love her unconditionally.

She knew it was Harry she wanted — it had always been Harry and always would be. But she wanted Harry to be more than just a friend — she wanted him to be her boyfriend. Even thinking the word "boyfriend" made her feel a little embarrassed! Back when Harry first arrived at the Burrow, Ginny had been a little confused by her feelings and wasn't sure whether or not she was in love with him, but she was sure now that she was. It was very wishful of her to be thinking about having a boyfriend when she required just a regular friend, but Harry was the only person she could imagine making her feel as happy and loved as Tom Riddle had. Besides, a boyfriend would be so much more special than just a regular friend!

She did think it was appropriate of her to go back to thinking about Harry. After all that Tom Riddle had put her through, she just wanted everything to go back to normal. And even with other people still whispering and wondering about the Chamber of Secrets, her life largely did. She was lonely, but her grades were looking up after the slump they had fallen into over the past months and she was eagerly looking forward to the next Quidditch match, sure Gryffindor would beat Hufflepuff and stand a real chance of winning the Quidditch Cup for the first time in years.