What am I to you? // Corpse Husband

5. Vulnerability

Sunday 10.34am

After my shower, I get dressed and join him in the living room while drying my hair with a towel, finding him reading 'Jujutsu Kaisen'. He's turning the pages of the book sitting next to him on the sofa. It seems a little difficult but I'm glad to see him more mobile, as his better arm seems on the mend. He looks up with round eyes, while I sit on the arm of the sofa.

"This is good. Who's your favourite character?" He asks.

This is awkward because I like them for more than the depth of their persona, and I feel myself blushing at the thought of divulging my weakness for 2D men. Just relax, he probably has no idea.

"I like Sukuna and Gojo."

"Are they good guys?"

I squint, generating a smirk on his face, so I feel that I have to explain. "There's more depth to these characters than meets the eye. Sukuna is pure manipulative and powerful evil. I don't know why I like him, maybe because he is confident doesn't take any shit. Maybe who I aspire to be... to an extend. Gojo is a good guy but he's unexpectedly goofy sometimes. I find that kind of trait... enticing."

"And in real life?"

"Pardon?"

"What kind of people do... you..." Is he gonna finish his sentence? Why is he suddenly interested. Just making conversation I'm sure.

"I like the seemingly bad boys who are actually sweethearts." Shit! Did I just imply that was him? I mean... I mean... shit. I need to keep going. "But I always end up with the seemingly good guys who end up being selfish or narrow minded... or both!"

Why do I feel awkward, I escape to the kitchen to get a Diet Coke from the fridge and come back, sitting down next to him, as he folds the book and turns to me. Taking a sip, I can tell he wants something as he faces me.

"Do you mind me asking about the other day?" I know what he's referring to and feel a little anxious thinking about opening up to something so personal but I feel that we've become closer.

Somehow I trust him and can tell that he is just asking to maybe give me some comfort. Maybe he feels that he needs to repay me for looking after him when I was not obliged to.

My silence shows my reluctance, maybe even slight anxiety, and he can see it.

"I can talk about myself first if you want?" I nod. Something tells me that he's not really the kind of person who would just talk about himself but he's doing it to help me and I really appreciate his efforts.

He tells me about his health, the fact that he's half Irish, half Mexican but doesn't know anything about the Latino part. He doesn't speak Spanish and that bothers him. He talks about the fact that he's not close to his family but his mum recently recovered from Cancer and he reached out.

"So... what do you do? I mean medical bills are expensive. I saw you work from home."

He seems hesitant to answer.

"I... will tell you in due time."

"It's not illegal is it?" He laughs his high pitched laugh that just sounds like chimes to my ears and brings warmth to my heart. It's irresistible and I can't contain my smile when I hear it.

"No, it's not illegal."

"Do you have someone in your life?" My question takes him off guard but I feel that it's the way our conversation was going: health, family, work, relationship, etc...

"Not at the moment. I did, but not right now. I don't like relationships. It's hard work and complicated. I like being alone."

"I like being alone too. Not having to rely on someone if I want to do something. I can eat what I want as well. I like not feeling obliged to compromise... Sorry I sound selfish."