Supercorp: MISSING you

just writing it down (letter)

Hi Lee,

It's really weird to write to you like this but Alex told me that it might help with my feelings. I don't believe her but then she got this journal book so now I kinda have to do this.

It has been four days since you disappeared. Ever since I have been searching for you. I have been flying around the world, helping the DEO and more searching. But nothing. There is just absolutely nothing we found. And I'm not sad I'm more likely to be paranoid at the moment. It's just the fact that we don't have a single clue where you are.

The thing I'm most freaked out about is this. You don't know it yet and I know this letter is the worst way to tell you but.... Lee, I'm pregnant. I wanted to tell you on date night but... well you know what happened. You disappeared.

And I know you didn't want to disappear and I know you didn't do it on purpose but your timing couldn't have been worse. 

My mind keeps wandering off and giving me questions like. What if I could have told you? Would that be better or even worse? Also somewhere in my mind, a little voice is saying that you could be dead. (I'm still trying to ignore that voice)

I haven't told anybody about the fact that I'm pregnant. But at the moment your will be gone for a week I'm going to tell Alex because as I said: I'M FREAKING OUT. And I don't know what to do. Also, I can't ask anyone for help although I need it. 

I want to tell you everything. About how I found out. So I'm just going to write that down because at the moment I have nothing better to do. And after writing this I'm just going to drown myself in misery. I miss the fact that I can't get drunk at the moment because, well I'm pregnant...

Okay right, where was I going with this? Yeah, I wanted to tell you how I got pregnant. Well for the whole day I was hungry. And not like a little hungry but very hungry. So I ate everything. So many donuts I can't even remember how much, a lot of big belly at lunch and everything else we had at home. I googled, remembered my period was late and then I went to buy pregnancy tests. 

And you don't need to worry because no one saw me buying these. I x-rayed the whole store to see if anyone was there. At home, I did the tests. The first one was just vague so I tried another one from a different brand and it said that I was definitely 100% pregnant. For me, I was a sign of relief because all the extreme eating and everything made sense. But also panic because I didn't know what to do. 

That's when I called you and made up date night. I can only imagine now: What if I had already told you? Would you be coming home earlier to talk about it or to celebrate it with me? All those scenarios are going through my head over and over. 

I want to fly around the world one more time but I need rest because flying around the world for almost 4 days straight (well for you gay) has been exhausting and Alex is very protective. Even though she doesn't know about the pregnancy yet. (Does that mean she will get even more protective?! ughhhh...) 

I just hope you get back soon so I can tell you in real life that I'm pregnant and that we can be happy about it. Well, I hope you are happy about it because I'm not even sure if you want kids. But really, I think you will be.

Lena, I love you. Please come back soon. I can't imagine being without you. And our baby needs you.

Kara